Being Thankful

Unlike last year, I wasn't really that nervous about coming back to the States for Thanksgiving in the run-up to this trip.  I think to a large extent it's because last year I felt that I had to prove something.  I felt that I had to prove that I had made the right choice in moving to London, that I was happy in my new life, that I didn't regret anything.  This year, although I'm really not too much older or wiser, I now know that, as Maya Angelou wrote, "You alone are enough.  You have nothing to prove to anybody."

Part of what brought that axiom home was my break-up and subsequent reconciliation with Jon, but a lot of it was also the trip to Berlin with my friend Christian.  I didn't really talk about the end of the holiday on this blog and I will maintain that confidence out of respect for the relationship that we shared, but I will say that what happened - the choices I made and Christian's actions in response - taught me a valuable lesson about friendship.  Because of these two incidents, I feel that I have to own up to myself in a way that really is new to me; I feel that I have to accept that I have made mistakes and I have to learn from them and, inevitably, I have to move on.

To that end, while the things I am thankful for this season are relatively rote, I have a new and active appreciation for them:

I am thankful for my family, who cheer me through my adventures and who support me through my misadventures.

with Sarah in Boston, 2011

I am thankful for Jon, whose enduring faith in me outlasts my own doubt in myself and whose love sustains my soul.

with Jon in London, 2010

I am thankful for my friends, who look past my insecurities to understand my heart and who create a home for me wherever they are.

with JHo and Stins in DC, 2008

And I am thankful to all of you, who follow me on this journey and who challenge me to be accountable and true.

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may you enjoy the peace that lives in active appreciation.