Frock Fridays: My Wedding Dress

a few of the dresses I've tried on over the past year

I've been a fiancée for exactly a year this week, dear readers!  (Remember the vlog we made last May to announce our  engagement?)  In that time, I've published 45 Wedding Wednesday posts covering everything from our budget (twice) to finding our photographer (and the wonderful engagement session we did with her in London back in September) to Jon's demand for a traditional wedding cake and my insistence on also serving a cheese cake to a little rant about bridal shoes - but not once have I talked about my wedding dress.  In honor of having worn this beautiful ring for a year, I think it's time I did!

Of course I'm not actually going to show you my dress.  I couldn't even if I wanted to.  You know why?  It's not been made yet!  But I'm getting ahead of myself; let's start at the beginning.

My price point, as they say on Say Yes To The Dress, is pretty low.  If you look at the updated spreadsheet I shared in February, I set aside 5% of my total budget for attire/beauty for myself and my maids.  This doesn't just include my dress but also Sarah and Ellie's frocks, as is the tradition in the UK, as well as whatever hair and makeup arrangements we make.  TheKnot recommends that you can expect to pay 8-10% of your budget just on the bride's attire, so even though I won't tell you where my max is in dollars, you can imagine it's quite a bit lower than average!  Part of the reason I don't want to spend a lot of money on my dress - besides the usual reasons that even brides who do spend a lot on their dresses can understand, like that I'll only be wearing it once and I'd rather put the savings towards cheese - is because I don't think there's One Dress out there for me that's worth thousands of dollars.

Is that strange?  I watch bridal shows like SYTTD often and feel like, even though I'm getting married myself, I can't relate to a lot of the women on the show.  (Don't even get me started on the Atlanta episode where the 20 year old bride made a big deal about getting to wear white because she and her fiancé waited for marriage...)  I know that these shows are made to hype up the process, but I never expected the magical moment that all these girls feel when they see themselves in The Dress.  I've known since the beginning what I wanted in my dress, but I didn't expect to find exactly that while staying in my budget - and, honestly, I didn't think our wedding would be any less glorious if I didn't. I was always totally content with the idea that I'd try on a few dresses, pick my favorite within my price range, and that would be that!

So when, last September as I was ordering Sarah's dress at the JCrew store, the saleslady asked if I wanted to buy my gown at the same time, I didn't laugh her off.  After all, I'd been browsing the website for months and knew the selection like the back of my hand - and they were having a massive offer of 25% off if you spent more than $150.  Why not?  Two weeks later, the JCew dress that was closest to the image I had in my head arrived on my doorstep.

I kept looking, of course, after confirming by email with a JCrew wedding representative that I could return the dress at any time, and ended up going to a store in New York with some friends in October, a bridal salon in London in late December with Ellie and Rose, David's Bridal with my mother in January, and a Loehmann's sale alone in early March.  But I didn't like anything I tried on more than what I thought the JCrew dress could be altered to become, so I made an appointment with a seamstress that my mother knew from her sewing classes to discuss options.

Mom and I met with Velma Lee at her house in late March.  I tried on the JCrew dress for the first time since September and, I will admit, I felt a little thrill.  I explained what I wanted, were anything possible, and Velma examined the dress, nodding and exclaiming as I talked.  She could do everything I asked for except make the skirt a bit fuller, but, since the cost of the dress plus the cost of Velma's work would come in under my budget, I didn't really mind.  After all, I knew that the shape of the skirt wasn't unflattering as it was, and since I didn't believe in The Dress... well, one detail didn't seem to matter.

But them Mom piped up.  "Velma, how much would it cost for you to make the whole thing from scratch?"  Turns out, getting a bespoke dress from this incredibly talented woman would only be a little bit more - technically putting me slightly over the maximum I wanted to pay, but the idea of getting to create my own gown was so exciting!  I took a week to think about it and then called Velma to say yes.

I went back a week later to be measured and had my first fitting on Wednesday night.  When I put on the bodice and skirt, which hadn't yet been sewn together, and Velma pinned everything up, I beamed.  I still don't think there's One Dress out there without which the marriage will be doomed, but I'm thrilled with the dress we're making!

Here are a few of the images we're using as inspiration - if you want glimpses of the session the other night, make sure you're following me on Instagram!

clockwise from top left: Amy Kuschel Breeze / Moonlight / Watters Escalante / Allure Bridal from SMP