Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Appropriating Christmas

*Santa* brandbook
This might be incredibly hypocritical, given that I was raised Jewish but was sent to an Episcopalian school, but I still remember how my mother described some families we knew socially as Christmas Tree Jews.  She never elaborated on what it meant to be a Christmas Tree Jew, but it was pretty clear to me even at a young age that it was about more than just having a Christmas tree in the house while professing to be Jewish.

I've been thinking a lot about that over the past few years as Jon and I made our metaphorical way to the altar; I knew that, one day, I'd be a Christmas Tree Jew.  And that always made me uncomfortable.

The thing is, though, today even more than twenty years ago, many of the trappings of Christmas have very little to do with the religious basis of the holiday.  I heard on the radio that a school in Texas has banned red and green from decorations for its annual winter party to avoid favoring one faith over others, but I can't imagine that those colors are actually relevant to the birth of Jesus Christ.  Almost every religion that has a holiday at this time of year celebrates the idea of light in the darkness, so, except for the nativity scene that you might see on some front lawns, most elaborate electrical displays aren't inherently Christian.  And Santa Claus - well, despite his hagiographical origins, Old Saint Nick has come to represent the golden calf of consumerism.

I don't know that this is necessarily a sign of how we're all sucked in by the commercialization of spirituality and so we're headed to Hell in a handbasket.  Of course there are arguments to be made about how we forget the true meaning of Christmas, but the lessons of the holiday absolutely transcend scriptural Christianity.  Have you seen WestJet's baggage claim surprise?  I don't care if it was a marketing stunt - it was generous and it brought joy to strangers, and that's miraculous in this day and age.

That being said, it's all too easy to be cynical about Christmas.  Jon's cousin linked to the *Santa* brandbook, an image from which is at the top of this post, and it's pretty clever.  My dad sent me this letter from Santa, published on Slate, that also hits close to home:



I'm interested to see how I'll feel about having a Christmas tree in my apartment next year when Jon's living here with me.  You all know I love the Christmas spirit, dear readers, and I so enjoy sharing Christmas (and everything that comes with it) with Jon's family in Suffolk, but I suspect it'll sit slightly differently on me in my own home.  Have any of you been through this or something similar?  There's no need to start worrying yet, obviously, but I'd love to hear if you have any advice on actively appropriating other spiritual or religious traditions into your own life.


 photo 866de425-8336-4c63-9efd-1c4dd8bf0e62_zpsafe0d56b.jpg

30 comments:

  1. Wow. That WestJet video is the best thing I've seen in a long time.

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  2. That letter from Santa is classic! Isn't that really what it's coming to nowadays?


    Personally I'm not bothered by people crossing religions to celebrate because I think it's nice when people can get together for a happy occasion for any reason. I would happily attend a Hannukah party if invited, and I've sent Hanukkah presents to Jewish friends and have had them send me Christmas presents. I think if people are important enough to you, then that's the main thing, along with being respectful of beliefs. I wouldn't be offended if someone said "Happy Hanukkah" to me, and I would hope people wouldn't be offended if I said "Merry Christmas" to them because it's not necessarily about religion- it's like sending best wishes.

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  3. oh I absolutely agree! the difference between what you're saying, though, and being a Christmas Tree Jew isn't that you're sharing your faith with someone else or you're participating in someone else's celebration of his/her faith, it's that you're appropriating parts of another faith as your own without really understanding what that means on a deeper level. does that make sense? I'm probably totally over-thinking it though...

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  4. No, I totally see what you're saying. I guess it just depends on the level of faith someone has and devotion to their religion (devotion might not be the right word, though). Like, I think of the hardcore Christians and how they impart their faith into all they do, and I'm not like that, but I still count myself as a Christian. But they probably wouldn't have anything to do with a menorah in their house, whereas someone else might like the tradition behind it. Does that make any sense?

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  5. I think it has to do with the intentions of your heart, you will firstly be having a Christmas tree as a way of integrating yourself with your husband and the growth of the family of two you have much in the same way he participated in the Hanukkah traditions with you and your extended family this year.
    I also understand in a sense as I went to a Catholic school k-8 and remember the scorn for the "big 2 churchgoers", as in the ones that only showed up for Christmas and Easter. Since coming to Sweden I have not joined a church as my language skills are not up for it and I feel very hesitant to show up to a congregation as one of those "big 2 churchgoers".

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  6. My catholic aunt married her husband who is jewish, and they have raised my cousins with both faiths, so I'm not sure if they count as 'Christmas tree jews' since they put up a christmas tree, as they genuinely strive to incorporate both faiths. I think it's good that they raised their kids to know both faiths instead of fighting over which takes precedence, so hopefully you guys can find the common ground and appreciate each others traditions and make your own as well :)

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  7. you know, I bet a lot of the Christmas Tree Jew families WERE interfaith and we just didn't know it. I certainly don't think that one religion should take precedence and I DEFINITELY understand that everyone does spirituality in his/her own way, but I just really want to be intentional about what we incorporate and why, you know?

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  8. that's totally true. but - and I'm sort of playing devil's advocate here - does it dilute a tradition to appropriate it but not understand (or make an effort to understand) where it comes from?

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  9. Do you like children's Christmas movies? Because you might love Switchmas as much as I did! It's about this Jewish kid who loves Christmas. En route to visit his grandparents in Florida, he switches places at the airport with another kid who hates snow. It was seriously one of the most adorable and heartwarming Christmas movies I've ever seen. It somehow touches on both the religious aspects of Christmas and Hanukkah and the secular aspects in a really sweet and balanced way. And it ends with this precious song "Christmas is for Everyone."

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  10. Also, my book club is reading Christmas: A Candid History this month, which might help you make more informed decisions about what is and is not appropriation. Beau is atheist, but he still bought me a Christmas tree and helped me decorate it. I don't think that somehow makes him a wishy-washy atheist or me a wishy-washy Christian. I haven't actually read the book yet, but from the description of it, it shows the evolution of Christmas and our appropriation of other traditions to how Christmas is today. http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-History-Bruce-David-Forbes/dp/0520258029

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  11. well, I think the tricky thing about informed decisions when it comes to religion is that it's all subjective! I don't think an atheist buying a Christian a Christmas tree is strange - I think it's nice because it means they get to share the Christian's tradition. But I would think it strange for an atheist to buy himself a Christmas tree. at the end of the day, though, it doesn't matter to that atheist what I think - if he's comfortable having a Christmas tree in his house without sharing it with any Christians, that's his prerogative!

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  12. haha can we just appreciate that a Jewish kid is visiting his grandparents in Florida for winter break? love stereotypes :)

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  13. And they wear awful pastel clothing, and live in a retirement community with other old people, and play tennis, and use a metal detector on the beach. Plus every scene with the grandmother involves her offering some homemade Jewish treats.

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  14. I can DEFINITELY relate to this since, as you know, I'm a former Christian converting to Judaism. This is my first Christmas since I decided to convert, and I did have to stop and think about this quite a bit. I do technically live in an interfaith home, although as far as the holidays are concerned that's a non-issue since Matt is a grinch and hates Christmas, so he probably wouldn't even notice if we didn't have a tree. But I decided in the end to put a tree up anyway. For me, it's part of my heritage. It might not be a religious holiday for me, but then, it hasn't been for years anyway. But Christmas trees have been a part of my holiday tradition for my entire life, and since I'm undergoing such an enormous religious shift in my life (and all the new traditions, prayers, etc that come with it!), it's nice to have a little bit of continuity in my holiday, at least while I adjust!

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  15. I love that - "the intentions of your heart." so true. and who am I to judge the intentions of another's heart? but I'm having a hard time understanding the intentions of my own heart!

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  16. now I have YOU'RE A MEAN ONE MR GRINCH stuck in my head thankyouverymuch.

    and YES, the heritage aspect is important too, which I didn't think about! who says that Christmas trees (or whatever) aren't about respecting your family and their traditions as much as a religion and its traditions? amen.

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  17. Total Irish Catholic family upbringing speaking here. Just so we get that out of the way. I married a guy from a Christmas Tree Atheist family. That's a type, too, I believe. When I wanted to set up our creche set for the first time, he was so confused. I had to actually make an argument for why a creche set was appropriate at Christmastime in our home. He's since changed a lot, and our views are very much aligned together. But, Christmas is the silliest holiday because it's become much more than one religion's celebration. And that's where things get muddy. I have no problem with any of it. As long as you're celebrating for the right reasons (and no, not just Jesus, if that isn't your thing), but why would I stop you from celebrating a holiday that is about giving to others? Right?

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  18. Well, I would hope that there would be some sort of understanding/education and not just willy-nilly decorating. I don't know if it dilutes it....maybe as a religious tradition but not as a personal tradition?

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  19. Sometimes the only way to find out is by making a choice and seeing how it makes you feel and then you can either be pleased or not and know for the future.

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  20. Boca Raton Floridian here. I can testify that every single one of the above stereotypes has a significant amount of truth to it (metal detectors on the beach? daily. pastels? our city colors)

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  21. From what I can see from most of the comments, people are totally fine with sharing in traditions of the various religions of American culture. But traditions are entirely different from the faith itself- a faith is a belief system. These traditions are just the cultural trappings that tag along, rather than the essence of the faith. At the end of the day, the Christian will believe in Christ and the Jew will still be waiting for their messiah. And if we all want to attend Christmas parties together and eat latkes and drink mulled wine that is totally cool with me. America's pretty cool that way ;-)

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  22. I have so many things to look forward to in my old age :)

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  23. haha that's definitely a type. and I get the creche confusion - when I was listening to the service of Lessons and Carols at Jon's parents' house (ON CHRISTMAS DAY, NO LESS) and they did the reading about Gabriel coming to Mary to tell her about Jesus, Jon's cousin, 11 at the time, turned to me and said, "This story really is quite unbelievable, isn't it?"

    well... yes. haha!

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  24. I think she was frustrated by the "keeping up with the Joneses" -ness of it, you know? but YES Christmas trees ARE awesome :)

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  25. you're amazing. I love it when you knock sense into me. And I would love to come to that party with you!

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  26. I think you have plenty of sense to begin with, Betsy! Merry Chrismukkah <3

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  27. There's no reason we can't incorporate a little bit of tradition from all the holidays - because all the holidays have been doing that since their beginning days! The Christmas tree comes from Nordic Yule tradition anyway - except now we decorate with lights and pretty ornaments instead of bits of food and treats. My family has a 90% American holiday, but we still celebrate the Santa Lucia - which happens tomorrow!

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  28. yeah, I think it is nice to be thought full about what you choose to incorporate that way you both make sure the most meaningful symbols make it into the house, and you get to learn more about each other's faiths.

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  29. You can always top your tree with a star of David, or only use silver and blue ornaments… or just use ornaments that mean something to the two of you. Your tree will be sparse the first few years, but it'll get there.

    Also, I think traditions are to each (family) his/her (their) own. If you want to mix traditions, create your own, whatever sort of celebration fits the Besty-and-Jon family, that's what The Holidays [Collective] are about. Most of my family's traditions happened before the divorce, so I don't really remember them, but apparently my dad and his best friend used to get trees on Christmas Eve-evening (they were cheaper, or sometimes free) and decorated that evening. We also (this one lasted through my high school) each got an abnormally large container of a favorite food- my oldest sister always got a gallon of pickles, I always got a school-cafeteria size can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup… and it was delicious ;)



    As for traditions with Paul and me, he cared more than I did about Christmas at the start of our relationship, and despite my finding us nice souvenir ornaments and not complaining about the pine needles everywhere, he's generally fallen off the Christmas train as well. Doesn't help that he's been away for a few of the ours since we've been married, either, but that's a different story. :)

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