Thursday, October 24, 2013

Defining Blogging Success

pattern by Zak Fox on Design Sponge found via Kate Baird

When I told my dad that I'd set up a survey for my blog readers, he asked what I was going to do with the results.  "Well," I explained, "I'm going to use them to focus my editorial calendar so that my readers feel fulfilled when they come to my blog."

He nodded thoughtfully, but it didn't quite make sense even as I said it.  After all, I'm a hobby blogger* and I consider the relationships I've developed with my readers to be entirely qualitative; satisfaction surveys are for brands to better leverage their customer service with the goal of measuring themselves against quantifiable metrics for success.  How can I be guided by both of these without contradicting myself? I think the answer is to be found though a question posed by Belinda the other weekend: what's my idea of blogging success?

As the omnipresent Pinterest graphic says, comparison is the thief of joy.  The thing is, though, you can't come up with relative definitions in a vacuum.  After all, there isn't an absolute or universal standard for success!  I mentioned recently that my mother told me you sometimes have to figure out what you want to be by ruling out everything you don't want to be and, from your comments on that post, many of you agreed.  In this instance, comparison is necessary.

So I've been thinking about the definition of blogging success (and working on this post about it) for a while as I've continued on my way through blogland.  Belinda's whole Blogging Compass series, including the wonderful comments her readers contribute to the discussion, has been really helpful as I've processed my thoughts.  Two carefully-considered posts from Elembee on pulling it together and what it means to be an expert as a blogger have also stuck with me in a positive way over the weeks, as have conversations with Gesci and Whitney.  And, as always, I've kept Jay (and especially this post), Jenna (and especially this post), and Nicole in the back of my mind as examples of bloggers with mindsets I love.

At the same time, I've been identifying examples of blogging attitudes that frustrate me; I've been trying to do it academically rather than emotionally so I can learn from them.  I read so many tweets from hobby bloggers saying things like "ugh, don't want to blog today" or "can someone write my posts this week for me, please?"  I see so many complaints all over social media about bloggers being burned out.  I scroll through so many pieces on how to get your blogging mojo back and how to grow your blog - many of which are right next to others encouraging bloggers to take a break and not worry about the numbers.  And I want to take these bloggers by the shoulders and tell them to listen to their own advice!  You shouldn't have to phone it in.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't look for or create inspiration for your blog, but you shouldn't have to power through the times when you're just not in the zone.  How can it be considered authentic success when you're faking it?

But maybe that sort of blogging works for those bloggers.  Maybe it's part of their whole process, part of what they do to be or feel successful - and more power to them for it, I guess.  It just doesn't work for me.  I don't want the kind of blogging success that is achieved through faking it.  I've come to understand that I define success as being comfortable enough with how and why I blog not to fake it.

The thing is, no one's telling me that I have to.  Yoda says, "Do or do not; there is no try."  Some might read this as "fake it till you make it," but I understand it differently.  I can do or I can not do - trying is fruitless.  The ideal is doing, obviously, but there's no shame in not doing if it's simply not there.  We're all telling ourselves that not trying is the same thing as failing but I've realized that, for me, trying is faking it.  And, given how and why I blog, that is not how I want to succeed.


*I'm defining a hobby blogger as someone who doesn't rely on blogging for her income.  It's not a pejorative term and it doesn't mean that she's not good at what she does or that she doesn't make money from her blog.  It just means that "blogger" is not one of her primary professional identities.

 photo 866de425-8336-4c63-9efd-1c4dd8bf0e62_zpsafe0d56b.jpg

61 comments:

  1. I love love love this post. I can so relate! I've been really thinking about the things you mentioned as frustrating because as I scroll through my reader, I see countless posts about either growing your blog or being burnt out and some from the same. I don't want to post because I should and my content is not authentic or genuine. I want to post when I'm inspired or have something to say that I want to share with those who follow along. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this post Betsy! And thank you for including me. I'm both honoured and surprised that you appreciate my blogging mindset :) I try to keep it as real as possible and sometimes I just don't have the time to post this year. That's just the reality. I see blogging success exactly as you've defined it... subjectively. Everyone has a different understanding of what success means for them as well as when they'll know whether they've achieved it. As long as you're happy with where you're going that's all that matters. Love your blog and never ever feel as though your posts are forced.

    ReplyDelete
  3. it is SO subjective! and this is definitely one of those times when I've written a post as a cathartic experience for me - I needed help sorting out what MY definition was, so I wrote through it! One of the things writing this post also did was show me how to work through my frustrations with some other blogging attitudes. As you say, as long as those bloggers are happy - and who am I to say they're not? All I should worry about is whether or not I am.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, I definitely think there's peer pressure out there to be better, whether in terms of numbers of followers or being known as an expert at whatever. And I think we all get each other worked up into this horrible cycle about it! But we should be able to step out of the race if we want to :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really liked that post by Belinda and reading through your post I realized not so much what makes me think of my blog as successful but what makes me view other blogs as successful. This post for me is exactly why I love coming to your site Betsy and why I think of it as successful and that is because it is authentic and real. You have shared here your ideas and what you strive too and it has nothing to do with numbers or money which I love, and that is why you have great engaged readers which will multiply in the long run. You want to put out your ideas on life, fashion, exercise and other things in a great pure way which is great and I look forward where take this idea of success in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fantastic post Betsy and a topic I've been sitting in a lot lately and I suppose a part of the reason I've been pulling back from social media. I've been overwhelmed on this whole focus of 'grow your blog' I've been seeing and have felt a little bombarded with giveaways and link ups. For me, blogging is a hobby - something I enjoy doing and want to continue to enjoy doing. I'm trying to grow myself, not my blog and if in the process, my blog grows, well, yay. I particularly admire the blogs that inspire/challenge/teach me as a person (you included, the blog-love is reciprocated) while being true to themselves.


    In any case, I'm humbled that you admire my blogging mindset as it's constantly a work in progress for me and as usual, I'm really looking forward to the discussion to come from this post. (You are a natural at inviting constructive & interesting discussion in comments!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Betsy... I love this post! First, thank you for including Blogging Compass posts, I am thrilled that they have been of help (plus the comments) that has always been my intention: to allow one another to grow through reflection and supportive comments. :)


    The idea of forcing inspiration or a blog post, is actually the reason why I didn't have a compass post last week: I wasn't inspired. I didn't have a topic flushed out, and that's okay. I love where you are coming from here. Honest and down to earth. Defining success is a slippery slope, but your approach is fresh. Especially with the idea of do or do not... simple and perfect mantra to keep in mind.


    Thank you again for including me in this post. My heart is all a flutter! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really do! I think the moment you stop seeing your blog as a work in progress is the moment it dies, and who wants to read that?


    One of the things I've realized as I've been thinking through all of this is that I don't enjoy regularly reading blogs that aren't a hobby for the blogger. Once a blogger starts transitioning her blog into a professional endeavor - be it through design, photography, consulting, or whatever - I often lose interest because the authenticity of growing the blogger rather than the blog disappears. (This isn't the case across the board, especially not if I already have a relationship the the blogger, but in general...) As you say, if in the process your blog grows, yay! but it seems that that's not the primary concern of my favorite bloggers :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jess Gerrow / The Stroke BlogOctober 24, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    My favourite Yoda quote ever. Really enjoyed this post.

    ReplyDelete
  10. haha I have to admit that I based this whole post off that quote. Every time I wrote a new draft or did major editing, it was with KEEP THE YODA QUOTE RELEVANT in the back of my mind :P

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jess Gerrow / The Stroke BlogOctober 24, 2013 at 9:23 AM

    You. Are. Awesome. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes, yes, and YES! I felt as though there were so many reasons I was supposed to blog, but shortly before we left for Australia, I decided that the whole thing was so stupid. I started posted when I felt like it and when I truly had something that I wanted to say or when there was something sort of fun to post. If that means that my posts are inconsistent, then so be it! My blog is for ME first and foremost, and once I stopped worrying why I was *supposed* to blog it was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Faking it is NOT making it because so many times faking it just turns into insincere writing that becomes cringe worthy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. OMG so true! I really get tired of complaints from bloggers about writing posts, etc. If you don't want to do it, DON'T! I could go on, but you said it for me basically :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Paige @ Little NostalgiaOctober 24, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    I'm not really a Star Wars fan (the horror!) but I've always taken that quote to mean that you have to actually get off your ass and do things instead of just dreaming about them. If you want to be a blogger, for example, maybe complaining about how terrible it on Twitter isn't the best idea. :-) Great post! Faking it until you make it is still just faking it. And nobody wants to read that.

    ReplyDelete
  15. haha that's okay - Star Wars mania is not a requirement around here :P


    but I totally agree. if you want other people to read your blog, even if you blog for yourself, bitching about how much you aren't into blogging isn't a great marketing strategy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love this post, and while it seems crazy for me to say it I totally relate. I blogged for so long and had people reading my blog and commenting and then when my life changed my blog changed and the whole dynamic changed, my comments (and readers) dropped, and I just haven't had the energy to change that. Instead I am at peace with the fact that I have a few loyal readers and in the end I will have a nice blog that my kids can some day look back on and hopefully enjoy :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. YES! It's interesting how the exchange of money and the desire to profit (financially & through readership) changes the authenticity of the blog even if the blogger isn't conscious of it. When that cross happens, I find myself wondering if they're sharing something because they actually like/admire it or because they're paid to share it. In blogging and through social media, that can be difficult to discern.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I will say that I felt a little hypocritical in parts of this post because I DO almost always post 6x/week and I think that editorial calendars are great to help keep your juices flowing. I also think that, if you love writing, it's important to sit down and write even when you're not feeling it because sometimes just the feeling of thinking analytically or creatively does get you into the mood to write something productive! That being said, if it doesn't - THAT IS OKAY. and just because you've written something (or started to write something) doesn't mean that it has to be published, especially not if you wrote it NOT to find your groove because you want to but because you feel you have to.


    does all that make sense?


    and OF COURSE! you're welcome :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. that "supposed to" feeling IS such a weight! it comes and goes for me, as I think it does for most of us, but there are ways to make it productive and ways that, actually, sap you of being able to accomplish what you really want to.


    I'm all for pushing through at times - everything in moderation, as they say! - but when you're publishing posts that aren't you... well, why should I read that if I come to your blog for YOU? now that I realize all of that, I'm trying to make it my guide for this blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. This post really resonated with me. I blog when I want to blog and step away when I need too. Course then I never understood doing something...faking it till you make it...if you do not full heartedly have passion for it. I have taken breaks in my blogging because of real life issues and not having the love/time for it at that time. Thats from when I started my blog back in 2005. Course now its evolved to becoming part of my 'brand'. Anything I put online in any form I realise reflects who I am and so its a lot different from the days of blogging when Myspace and livejournal were outlets of social media. I do not make money from my blog now (any sponsorships go right back into the the blogging world) but to me I view it as a professional outlet as it connects to business, my brand, and my image online.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm glad, Bonnie! To be honest, I had no idea how this post would speak to non-hobby bloggers, so that's really good to hear, thank you :)


    The first Elembee post I linked to above might be relevant for you, too, because she talks about something similar from the professional/brand side which, admittedly, I don't know much about as anything other than a consumer!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love this. I'm now going to spend all day thinking about "do or do not do: there is no try." What an interesting idea.


    Interestingly, I always get a little annoyed when an author is on a book tour and they are complaining about the traveling or the whatnot. And I want to be like "do you know how many people would love to be on a book tour?" But one day, I had this thought "what if the reason they like to write is that they prefer solitude?" or "what if being on a book tour around all those people is a perk they don't like?" It was such an a-ha. I wonder if some of the bloggers whining actually love writing the blogs, but don't love all the other stuff necessary to create whatever version of success they are after. I'm not sure I'm making sense here, it is a half-formed thought. But that's what I love about your blog... it's thought provoking!

    ReplyDelete
  23. There are already so many good comments and responses here so I will just have to say that I totally agree. Readers know when your heart isn't in your blog and you are just posting to get your numbers up. If you're going to blog, do so when you have something to say. And that's not to say that every post has to be epic and there can't be any fun, but there is a difference between fun and fluff. Writing something because you mean it is key.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AH. yes! and when reality stars complain about getting papped out at the supermarket and you're like... well...


    you're absolutely right, though. it's probably rare to enjoy every angle of what you're doing! BUT - and just playing devil's advocate here - if you're really unhappy with all the other stuff that's "necessary" for success, is the definition of success that you're working with really the right one for you? hmm. to think about!

    ReplyDelete
  25. well, and, to be honest, sometimes it's fun to read fluff! sometimes I don't want to be challenged! but there's a difference between fluff that's written in your authentic voice that's relevant to who you are and fluff that's written just because everyone else is writing it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Some of my most successful writing came from every day experiences that just happened to be a bit crazy and out of the ordinary. I tend to laugh A LOT and joke about those types of things so that's how I would write. (This was probably about two years ago.) People would come to my blog for those posts, but then would act as if I was a tool if I wrote something serious. I almost felt like I had an obligation for a little while to be funny, but in all seriousness, as much as I like to constantly make jokes and be funny, faking it just doesn't work and I sort of felt like I had to. That didn't do anything for me or my readers and it ended up burning me out. Now I have a hard time even wanting to post those hilarious life happenings for fear that people will be jerks again when I don't, but at the same time, why should I let my readers dictate what I should or should not write? I think I've gotten over that at this point-- FINALLY. I've started to just write when I feel like it no matter what the topic and if it garners a lot of attention, great, and if not, that's great too. And, along that same grain, I've also started to care less about whether or not my opinions on frivolous matters will offend others. Phew! I think I got that off my chest! Haha!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Right, and I'm talking about fluff like constant link-ups, "in case you missed it, here's what I wrote this week" posts, "hi, I'm not here but I'm saying hi posts" and the like. I mean, if you are too busy, just skip it one day. (or two or three, or a month..oops.)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Teddy Roosevelt is rolling in his grave right now. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  29. wait, why? is that quote actually his? DID YODA PLAGIARIZE?

    ReplyDelete
  30. The pinterest graphic one is :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. ah! well... I feel like Teddy would have had a sense of humor about it, no?

    ReplyDelete
  32. I love the actual writing of posts, and get really frustrated that I can't blog more...not because it would be the "successful blogger" thing to do, but because the comments and interaction that come with posts are a big part of why I write. No post means no community interaction. (Well, except for Twitter!) You're spot on...I don't understand why anyone would bemoan "having to get a post up." Who wants to read something you've forced yourself to put together?

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love your blog because we can TELL you love the writing! it shines through in every post :)


    and I do also get that a lot of blogs aren't primarily about writing - that's fine, but then own it, you know? if you're uncomfortable with what you're doing to succeed, I think you need to look at what you're calling success and what you think you have to do to get there. that's where I am right now, anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  34. so I just tweeted this to Casey, but she commented that "success is in the eye of the beholder" and I think we often get into trouble - as in the situation you're talking about above - when we start considering our readers as the primary beholder rather than ourselves. you know?

    ReplyDelete
  35. it doesn't seem crazy at all! blogging is SUCH a journey with peaks and troughs - and the thing that keeps it interesting is that one's person's trough is another's peak! that peace you have is the holy grail of blogging :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. I wonder how the immediacy of Twitter plays into this. I mean, before I used Twitter I could just throw up a post with "HERE IS A FUNNY THING I SAW." but now that's what I use Twitter for so doing it on my blog seems... like a waste? or like it's diluting my blog content? not that I don't do it anyway sometimes, but it's something to think about!

    ReplyDelete
  37. That's a great observation Betsy. I like having different venues for different kinds of interactions. Twitter/Instagram for the fun, little conversations and the blog for the topics that warrant more space for conversation.


    I'm probably "lucky" in some regards not to have a big following because it makes it much easier just to go about my blog as I like b/c I don't have the (self-imposed, usually) pressure of stats and the like. Every time I've wondered if I should shut down the blog because I feel badly for being so sporadic, I go back and read some old posts and realize the person gaining from the whole exercise is me. :) I could surely do the same exercise in a private journal, I suppose...

    ReplyDelete
  38. Great point! WE should be the beholders since blogs are OUR spaces. Getting back to the concept of using a blog to hash through our own ideas or to process events and situations is what I think is most compelling when I think about it. And all of that is on US, not the readers.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I love this blog post! It's hard for me not to compare myself to other bloggers, but I just keep reminding myself that I don't have the same goals in blogging, and that's okay! (Not gonna lie, it's especially frustrating to see a blogger with more followers if her grammar sucks or if she's only been blogging a few months). I'm not interested in writing fluff, or just posting a bunch of pictures from pinterest, or doing fashion posts, or whatever. That's okay! Blogging success for me is when a reader emails me her thanks or when authors give me free ebooks in exchange for my review.



    Betsy, you are a successful blogger! If I didn't think you were so awesome and influential and authentic, I wouldn't have been one of your sponsors. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  40. but if you do it in a private journal you miss out on the community that Julie talks about above!


    also, I am challenged academically by writing for an audience; that is to say, if I know that others will read what I've written, I take more care in fleshing out my thoughts and crafting a solid piece of prose. That's incredibly beneficial to me, both in terms of the process and in terms of the end result! I learn so much about my own feelings about the topic at hand along the way and I don't think I would if I were writing in a vacuum. From the way you write, I imagine that it's maybe the same for you?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Definitely something to think about! I know just what you mean about this (and Anne's point down there too!) but the thing with that is that I have a larger blog following than Twitter following since I just switched names and so I sometimes want to post silly things that I want more people to see, or I want to give some context to it. It is definitely something to think about though!

    ReplyDelete
  42. You are so right! My old, private journals are such a mish-mash!

    ReplyDelete
  43. "How can it be considered authentic success when you're faking it?" BOOM!

    This is exactly why I stepped away from my blog for a bit... it just, wasn't there. I love to write, I love connecting, but if it's not there, it's just not there. And to be honest, I don't necessarily feel that I need to apologize for that. I see so much guilt and blame out there that people are putting on themselves and it's just SO suffocating.
    I want to just look at them and say, "You're living your life! That's OK! In fact, that's amazing! Stop apologizing for living your life!"
    The last thing I want to do is force something, when my mind and body are telling me to do the complete opposite, you know? Especially when the driving force is some sort of desire for higher numbers, a bigger following, and more popularity. It seems so trivial (and temporary.)
    I think we should all be guided by our heartfelt desires, rather than these material ones. It makes for better connection and a better community.

    ALSO - The Yoda reference. I just can't leave without mentioning it! MY FAVOURITE! (I may be completely biased since I'm currently in the middle of a Star Wars marathon...:)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Great post! I saw a link to this post via Simply Evani. I too have struggled when my blog became my job without even knowing. I am constantly trying to find that balance between growing and expanding my blog and voice in this internet world while still having a life and being okay to take a step back sometimes. Great advice! Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  45. As always, I read all the comments and they basically said what I want to say: you hit the nail on the head. As long as your blogging for fun, it should never feel like a chore. The day it feels like a chore is the day you should quit. Sure, sometimes there are struggles, but we should remember that as hobby is a hobby for that reason: it's not a job. :)

    ReplyDelete
  46. You Betsy, are wise like Yoda :)
    I'm coming late to the party so what I would like to say has been said because most of us are obviously on the same page; for us hobby bloggers, blogging should be something we love to do. Posts take time, and if we don't love taking that time, then we should look elsewhere.x.

    ReplyDelete
  47. oh Betsy, I love everything about this post. The idea of having to force posts (something that I am quite guilty of at times) is such a strange thing. I love this line: " I don't want the kind of blogging success that is achieved through faking it." I think that readers and other bloggers can recognize and appreciate when a blog strives to remain authentic. And you, Betsy, are as authentic as they come, which is why I love reading your blog.

    Also: thank you, from the bottom of my little blogging heart, for mentioning me as a blogger with a positive mindset. :)

    ReplyDelete
  48. This is such a great reminder. I think that "success" takes on a different tone when blogging is part of a business strategy or is a career, but even then it can vary so much. When blogging is just something to do for fun, even just the idea of "success" feels a bit weird to me. If I'm reading for pleasure, what would it mean to do it successfully? If I'm going on leisurely runs through my neighborhood, is there a way to do it successfully? Sometimes I think that just the experience of doing is the success, though I think it feels more appropriate to say that the experience, the act of doing, is the pleasurable, enjoyable part. With blogging, if I have posts that I want to write, then I will write them. If it's becoming stressful or unenjoyable, then it's time to step away for a little bit. I don't want my hobbies to feel like chores!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I love this post! I feel like so many bloggers define success as having tons of readers and getting perks. But I wonder if that really is an appropriate measurement because at some point if you're blogging for a reason other than your own enjoyment, is that really success? Granted, building something from nothing clearly shows some level of success, but if you're not enjoying it, what's the point?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Thank you so much for posting this! I need this right now, as blogging has reached an all time high in frustration! I'm cycling back toward where I was when I blogged for the love of it, but it's a constant struggle to be blogging amongst so many successful bloggers when I'm really just doing it for the fun of it.


    It's kind of the same as when someone tells you to just be yourself. How many of us are really brave enough to just be ourselves, to put our REAL selves out there for people to judge? I think the best bloggers I know are the ones who know how to do that, who just take a breath, put the thought out there, and are content with it because it's THEM in that post and not something that's doctored or contrived.


    Hopefully that makes some kind of sense. But rock on, Betsy. Love your blog, keep being you.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I love this! Being new to blogging this post is a good reminder to just be true and to post what you feel is right. You can't please everyone but those you do means they accept you for you. Thank you for inspiring me more!

    ReplyDelete
  52. okay, I know that people read blogs for all sorts of reasons and, often those reasons don't include being challenged in any way, but I'd much rather have have 10 loyal followers who engage than 100 who just flick through pretty pictures and don't notice (or don't know to notice) my writing. you know? I think you feel the same :)


    and thank you, of course!

    ReplyDelete
  53. I so respect it when bloggers step away if they're not feeling it! it's like all of those "sorry I didn't post yesterday - I was busy" posts that bug everyone. (and they do bug everyone!) we assumed you were busy because we assume you have a life away from the blog. don't apologize for that! I think that it takes a lot of strength to not see your blog as a validation of your life, because it's so easy to fall into that trap, but that's when blogging becomes fake and forced. so good for you for recognizing it! and not falling into the trap and you can tell you've come back refreshed :)

    ReplyDelete
  54. oh YAY hello! I do have to admit that I know NOTHING about how to shift the balance when blogging becomes your job - this advice probably isn't as relevant then, but thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. exactly! a hobby is supposed to be fun and if it's not fun then everyone can tell. (side note: I started having fun with my DIY projects when I stopped trying to make them look professional and, along the way, I got more skilled. see? it's true across the board!)

    ReplyDelete
  56. amen! I also love how we're all owning the term "hobby blogger" :)

    ReplyDelete
  57. oh thank you! for what it's worth, you never seem to be faking it. there are probably graceful ways to be present even when you're not feeling it 100% so, though I have no idea what those ways are, maybe you've mastered them :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. well, I think that if blogging is your job - or part of your job as an extension of your brand - then you have to blog for reasons other than your own enjoyment. I'm not going to dismiss anyone for faking it so they can put food on the table! But I agree, you have to enjoy it regardless because you want to love what you do especially if it provides for you!

    ReplyDelete
  59. it IS always a cycle, I think! it's funny because I have another half dozen posts in my archive a lot like this from when I was at a similar mental place with blogging in the past.

    I think one of the things that helps me is to remind myself that other bloggers' definition of success isn't necessarily mine. I know there are a lot of bloggers out there who, as I responded to Belle, would rather have 100 new followers, none of whom would catch a grammatical error if it hit them in the face, then 10 new followers who'd email a heads up about a typo. And that's totally fine if that fits into their definition of success! If that's what makes them feel good, then more power to them. I just need to remember that that wouldn't make me feel good, and I need to remember what does make me feel good and what does meet my definition of success.

    ReplyDelete
  60. oh thank you! so much this: "You can't please everyone but those you do means they accept you for you." I need to say this to myself in the mirror every morning :)

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your thoughts and suggestions! Please do leave a comment so we can get to know each other better.