Five Things That Never Have I Ever

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I'm not going to lie: when I started to notice the Five Things posts going round the blogosphere, my first thought was, "Hey, that looks like fun - I wonder what I'll write for mine!"  My second thought was, "What if no one tags me?  Can I still do it, or would that be lame?"  Happily, Eliza did pass the torch on, and then Nadine announced that she was co-hosting a Never Have I Ever link-up, and I knew that I had to combine the two into one big post called...



1. I have signed leases on apartments in Paris and London, but never have I ever rented property in the United States. When I lived in New York, I was either in the dorms - I spent all four years of college in campus housing - or at my grandparents' apartments on the Upper East Side and in Chelsea, and I've always been based at my parents' house when I've lived in Washington, DC. For some reason, researching apartments in my hometown was more nerve-wracking than trying to find housing anywhere else I've lived! I'm thrilled with my new place and I can't wait to move in at the end of April, but the whole process inspired quite a bit of self-reflection not just about what makes a house a home but also about how a daughter can be someone's child and someone's wife at the same time in the same place. Of course you'll read more about this as my thoughts flesh out, dear readers.

2. Never have I ever seriously considered becoming a vegetarian... again.  In sixth grade, I had a huge crush on a boy who lived in my neighborhood and was two years older. (I'm not sure what that meant when I was 11, but it clearly didn't have anything to do with romance or sexuality because, even at 13, Gabe was flamboyantly gay.) He was a vegetarian, and I marched home and told my mom that I was going to stop eating meat after we watched a few PETA videos together after school one day. (See? Nothing untoward there!)  I stuck it out for three years in theory, but I gradually exploited every loophole until, in the end, I was just avoiding red meat and pork, and even then I had trouble staying strong around a hamburger or a sausage.  Now bacon is a constant in my fridge and I love a good medium-rare steak every once in a while!

3. Even though I'm Jewish, never have I ever immediately felt at home in a synagogue.  I do eventually sense the community around me when I go to shul, usually once the prayers and chanting have begun and the space fills with the familiar rituals, but it's not an instinctive thing. However, I almost always feel a sense of belonging as soon as I step into mainstream Protestant churches. As a chorister at Washington National Cathedral, I was unconditionally welcomed into the Episcopalian family even though I didn't believe, and I think the fact that I chose to be part of that community (rather than being born into it, as I was with Judaism) means that its spaces feel more immediately like a spiritual if not religious home.

4. Never have I ever meant it when I've apologized for being a grammar snob.  Look, typos happen and sometime we make mistakes - of course we do; we all do.  I'm mortified when I catch errors in my own blog and I will love you forever if you find them for me (and let me know about them, obviously).  And I know that not all bloggers focus on text and I know that some bloggers consciously make stylistic choices that don't follow Strunk & White, which is fine.  But when a blogger claims to be a writer and yet makes the same grammatical mistakes over and over again, I will unfollow her faster than you can say "this is a photo of my husband and I."  Sometimes I feel guilty about that, as if having high standards for what I read makes me elitist or exclusionary, which is why I apologize on Twitter, but I'm not actually sorry. There's too much good writing on the internet to waste time on bloggers who are comfortable using bad grammar out of apathy.

5. When I rescued Charlie, I promised Jon that we could one day get a cat together, too, but never have I ever wanted a cat.  I don't mind cats - my landlords in London had the sweetest kitten named Coco and I loved playing with her - but I'm not a cat person and I never dreamed I'd have my own one day. I'm hoping that whatever cat we get will be one of the ones who thinks she's a dog, like Gesci's Mia and Topsy, the youngest of Jon's parents' two cats, and I'm sure I'll like her no matter what, but we're only going to get her because Jon insists on it.  I'm also sure that Charlie will be totally bossed around by said cat...

So there you have it, dear readers: my five things that never have I ever.  Head over to Back East Blonde to meet the other blogs who have linked up, and I'm going to pass this on to five of my newest followers according to GFC and Bloglovin'...

Stacey Beth from Likes to Smile

Jess from Some Snapshots

Amanda from Rhyme and Ribbons

Jen from Glitterary Girl

Meg from Everyday Meg

Let me know if you linked up or have done your own Five Things post - I'd love to read!