I meant to post a Sunday Currently today, but I'm a bit distracted by the piece I have scheduled to publish on Tuesday. A couple of girls and I have been discussing this Steven Crowder opinion article on Fox News over Twitter and email and, even though we've mostly been agreeing, I've loved hearing their different points of view. However, I've been going back and forth with one blogger I really respect and admire - the only one I've been talking to about it with who completely disagrees with me - and I'm afraid we haven't found very much common ground at all. It's made me feel anxious and it's made me feel frustrated and, more than anything else, it's made me feel sad and it's made me feel hopeless.
So I spent some time yesterday reading the bible, if you can believe that, and I flipped through a book I bought recently called Belief: Readings on the Reason for Faith and poked around the corners of the internet to find conversations on spirituality and religion, and, this morning, I watched a bunch of soulpancake videos. Now I feel reassured in humanity and in all that we do share, whether we acknowledge it or not, and on this beautiful Sunday I want to pass some of that on to you.
If you come back on Tuesday, dear readers, I'd love to hear your thoughts. But do share your comfort today, please - I think we could all use some. What restores your faith?
I agree, but I'm going to be obxixious and say that you have to wait until Tuesday for all of my thoughts! but in the meantime I think you'll enjoy:
Crowder on the top 5 reasons for a man to get married - http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/26/man-top-5-reasons-to-grow-up-and-get-married/
A response in The Atlantic called "marriage is not a 24/7 sleepover party" - http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/marriage-is-not-a-24-7-sleepover-party/272684/#
Thanks for sharing this!! This video makes me so happy - and I really needed to see it today. You know I can't wait to see your post on Tuesday. You're brave for putting it out there! xo, E
if you liked that, you'll love this: http://youtu.be/e1BUtr4ElcY :) and thank you! it's funny how the definition of brave changes based on who you're disagreeing with and how loudly you/they are shouting, you know? because before reading that article and seeing all the people who supported his sentiments, I didn't think it was an issue of courage. maybe it's not at all - maybe it's just an issue of being human and talking together?
I hadn't read/heard of that article until you linked to it here, and now I'm really wishing I hadn't clicked it. good grief, that writer has pissed me off! there's a polite/respectful/respectable way to express your opinions, and then there's his way - which insults pretty much every single person who isn't him or his wife. gahhh.
what an unbelievably terrible article! (Crowder's, not yours.) No once have I experienced mockery or ridicule for my choices, which happen to be the same as his- and hopefully I have never made others feel judged for choosing a different lifestyle. I guess some people just get a rise out of inflaming others. That being said, we do need a few good pro-abstinence articles out there for young people living in a society where sex is not only common but overly idealized in film, television and media. A shame this guy missed a chance to share his opinions in a positive and inspiring manner.
oh Georgia I'm glad to hear you say that! I TOTALLY get how pop culture is a huge force of pressure in and of itself, but it is a bit of a relief to hear that you haven't been attacked personally. I'm sure that not everyone who makes the same choice is so lucky, but still. And yes, I do think Crowder missed a great opportunity - if you find others who haven't, please do share :)
I read that article when posted on twitter and my goodness, it nearly left me speechless. Nearly. I'm looking forward to the upcoming discussion on your blog but I will say, I also find it hard when I feel so utterly passionate about something and someone else doesn't share those thoughts. While I certainly respect differing opinions, it's often hard to see how some are formed and to find peace when we have to agree to disagree.
me too - which is why I was only able to address a small part of the article and the ensuing debate in the piece I wrote. I didn't trust myself not to venture into all caps and extra punctuation!
so I would be interested to hear what your neighbors/classmates think of all this? because I remember saying that you were a dot of blue in a sea of red...
I'm having a difficult time imagining public reaction to this around here. speaking just in terms of people I know personally (and well-ish), there are plenty who are very pro-sex regardless of marital status. but then there are also plenty of people (including many of my friends) with very strong religious convictions who as a result are choosing to wait until marriage; I doubt that these beliefs extend as far as criminalizing and belittling people who choose not to wait (unlike this author). I'm sure there are plenty of people here who would agree with him, unfortunately. but I don't really know - sex is not something that gets discussed too much.
ha yes maybe that was a silly question on my end - can't believe people don't walk around Alabama with the equivalent of a big red A on their chests! :P
I think it's important to remember that he's a comedian, and he's certainly going for provocative! But like I said before, I can see why some people are offended.
I actually wrote an article (not to toot my own horn, but because you might be interested!) recently on a similar topic, very different style, if you'd like to read it :) http://www.mercatornet.com/tiger_print/view/11327
ah yes Kate (below) linked to this too! it's SO much easier to respect an opposing viewpoint when it's written this encouragingly and positively and lovingly.
toot away - I think that's beautifully written! like I said to Georgia, I (and most people, I'd imagine) respond better to positive and constructive opinions, even when they differ.
but you raise a good point, one that I have been asking myself over the past few weeks - if someone wrote something that was this offensive but I agreed with his basic points, would I get angry? I certainly hope so!
Thanks Betsy! I think I just viewed his article as a piece of comedy (with underlying seriousness). He was trying to be "offensive," trying to get people riled up, a tactic many comedians use. That's why I wasn't angered by it.
Unlike the writer, I think for a lot of people there is no right or wrong here; he does what he thinks is best for him and his wife. I wouldn't dream of telling someone who practiced abstinence that they were wrong but I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to shut up about it. And yes, I was thinking just the same thing; he was probably reporting his side of the meeting with the wife from the inferior couple, making it look like she was upset or shamefaced about their wedding being a (gasp) party. She was probably sitting there thinking about what a prat he was. I doubt he has converted anyone to his way of thinking with that article and probably made a few un-fans, myself included.
The conversation between the Dalai Lama and Bishop Tutu pretty much made my day when I read it a few weeks ago. I've long admired them both, but that just solidified why they are so dynamic.
Here's the major problem I have with this article: he's contributing to the exact same cultural judgement that he himself has a problem with. Should others have judged him, laughed at him, made fun of him? Of course not. The sexual revolution, much like the feminist movement, was about being about to make your own sexual choices without judgement. And lines like "Looking back, I think that the women saying those things felt like the floozies they ultimately were, and the men, with their fickle manhood tied to their pathetic sexual conquests, felt threatened" are just as damaging to freedom of sexual expression as people pointing and laughing at those who choose NOT to have sex. Both having an active, out-of-wedlock sex life and waiting until marriage (or maintaining life-long celibacy) are valid choices, and no one should have the right to judge. But what he doesn't realize is that he is unwittingly one of the causes of the problem. I know that intended to use inflammatory language to defend his choice. But you know what? By his definition, I'm a floozy, and I'm perfectly content to throw insults back at him now that he has insulted people like me. And regarding the woman he met the next morning - yeah, maybe he's right. Maybe her husband didn't join her for breakfast because their wedding wasn't a big deal. Or maybe their marriage is based on a shared principle of giving each other space to breathe and being able to spend time apart. Maybe her husband is actually a jerk and she made a terrible choice. Maybe they both had a lot of fun at their wedding, and she deals with hangovers by eating eggs. My point is, HE DOESN'T KNOW. And by making an assumption about that woman's marriage and her lifestyle without knowing anything about her, he is doing the exact same thing that the name-callers did to him - they made assumptions about what his marriage would be like based on his lifestyle choices. And some might say that, as a victim of the same, he's justified in doing so. But the last time I checked, "turn the other cheek" was a fairly universal Christian principle.
I agree, but I'm going to be obxixious and say that you have to wait until Tuesday for all of my thoughts! but in the meantime I think you'll enjoy:
ReplyDeleteCrowder on the top 5 reasons for a man to get married - http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/26/man-top-5-reasons-to-grow-up-and-get-married/
A response in The Atlantic called "marriage is not a 24/7 sleepover party" - http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/marriage-is-not-a-24-7-sleepover-party/272684/#
ah! can you show me where? I loved your post on modern dating but didn't see this one and would be really interested to read :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this!! This video makes me so happy - and I really needed to see it today. You know I can't wait to see your post on Tuesday. You're brave for putting it out there! xo, E
ReplyDeleteif you liked that, you'll love this: http://youtu.be/e1BUtr4ElcY :)
ReplyDeleteand thank you! it's funny how the definition of brave changes based on who you're disagreeing with and how loudly you/they are shouting, you know? because before reading that article and seeing all the people who supported his sentiments, I didn't think it was an issue of courage. maybe it's not at all - maybe it's just an issue of being human and talking together?
I hadn't read/heard of that article until you linked to it here, and now I'm really wishing I hadn't clicked it. good grief, that writer has pissed me off! there's a polite/respectful/respectable way to express your opinions, and then there's his way - which insults pretty much every single person who isn't him or his wife. gahhh.
ReplyDeletewhat an unbelievably terrible article! (Crowder's, not yours.) No once have I experienced mockery or ridicule for my choices, which happen to be the same as his- and hopefully I have never made others feel judged for choosing a different lifestyle. I guess some people just get a rise out of inflaming others. That being said, we do need a few good pro-abstinence articles out there for young people living in a society where sex is not only common but overly idealized in film, television and media. A shame this guy missed a chance to share his opinions in a positive and inspiring manner.
ReplyDeleteoh Georgia I'm glad to hear you say that! I TOTALLY get how pop culture is a huge force of pressure in and of itself, but it is a bit of a relief to hear that you haven't been attacked personally. I'm sure that not everyone who makes the same choice is so lucky, but still. And yes, I do think Crowder missed a great opportunity - if you find others who haven't, please do share :)
ReplyDeleteI read that article when posted on twitter and my goodness, it nearly left me speechless. Nearly. I'm looking forward to the upcoming discussion on your blog but I will say, I also find it hard when I feel so utterly passionate about something and someone else doesn't share those thoughts. While I certainly respect differing opinions, it's often hard to see how some are formed and to find peace when we have to agree to disagree.
ReplyDeleteme too - which is why I was only able to address a small part of the article and the ensuing debate in the piece I wrote. I didn't trust myself not to venture into all caps and extra punctuation!
ReplyDeleteso I would be interested to hear what your neighbors/classmates think of all this? because I remember saying that you were a dot of blue in a sea of red...
ReplyDeleteSure! I think this article did a really nice (NON-polarizing) job.
ReplyDeletehttp://joannahyatt.com/2013/02/05/great-sex-where-do-you-find-it/
Love your blog, keep the thoughtful posts coming :) :)
I'm having a difficult time imagining public reaction to this around here. speaking just in terms of people I know personally (and well-ish), there are plenty who are very pro-sex regardless of marital status. but then there are also plenty of people (including many of my friends) with very strong religious convictions who as a result are choosing to wait until marriage; I doubt that these beliefs extend as far as criminalizing and belittling people who choose not to wait (unlike this author). I'm sure there are plenty of people here who would agree with him, unfortunately. but I don't really know - sex is not something that gets discussed too much.
ReplyDeleteha yes maybe that was a silly question on my end - can't believe people don't walk around Alabama with the equivalent of a big red A on their chests! :P
ReplyDeleteI just read that and I'm enraged! What a jerk that guy is.
ReplyDeletei am incredibly moved by archbishop tutu's quote. as i read, i really felt his words. then, comfort & hope washed over me.
ReplyDeleteI think it's important to remember that he's a comedian, and he's certainly going for provocative! But like I said before, I can see why some people are offended.
ReplyDeleteI actually wrote an article (not to toot my own horn, but because you might be interested!) recently on a similar topic, very different style, if you'd like to read it :)
http://www.mercatornet.com/tiger_print/view/11327
ah yes Kate (below) linked to this too! it's SO much easier to respect an opposing viewpoint when it's written this encouragingly and positively and lovingly.
ReplyDeleteoh GOOD. if you click on the link in the body of the post, you can read his whole conversation with the Dalai Lama - wish I could have been there!
ReplyDeletethink that's what he was going for :P
ReplyDeletetoot away - I think that's beautifully written! like I said to Georgia, I (and most people, I'd imagine) respond better to positive and constructive opinions, even when they differ.
ReplyDeletebut you raise a good point, one that I have been asking myself over the past few weeks - if someone wrote something that was this offensive but I agreed with his basic points, would I get angry? I certainly hope so!
Thanks Betsy! I think I just viewed his article as a piece of comedy (with underlying seriousness). He was trying to be "offensive," trying to get people riled up, a tactic many comedians use. That's why I wasn't angered by it.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I agree positive is better :)
ReplyDeleteUnlike the writer, I think for a lot of people there is no right or wrong here; he does what he thinks is best for him and his wife. I wouldn't dream of telling someone who practiced abstinence that they were wrong but I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to shut up about it. And yes, I was thinking just the same thing; he was probably reporting his side of the meeting with the wife from the inferior couple, making it look like she was upset or shamefaced about their wedding being a (gasp) party. She was probably sitting there thinking about what a prat he was.
ReplyDeleteI doubt he has converted anyone to his way of thinking with that article and probably made a few un-fans, myself included.
The conversation between the Dalai Lama and Bishop Tutu pretty much made my day when I read it a few weeks ago. I've long admired them both, but that just solidified why they are so dynamic.
ReplyDeleteHere's the major problem I have with this article: he's contributing to the exact same cultural judgement that he himself has a problem with. Should others have judged him, laughed at him, made fun of him? Of course not. The sexual revolution, much like the feminist movement, was about being about to make your own sexual choices without judgement. And lines like "Looking back, I think that the women saying those things felt like the floozies they ultimately were, and the men, with their fickle manhood tied to their pathetic sexual conquests, felt threatened" are just as damaging to freedom of sexual expression as people pointing and laughing at those who choose NOT to have sex. Both having an active, out-of-wedlock sex life and waiting until marriage (or maintaining life-long celibacy) are valid choices, and no one should have the right to judge. But what he doesn't realize is that he is unwittingly one of the causes of the problem. I know that intended to use inflammatory language to defend his choice. But you know what? By his definition, I'm a floozy, and I'm perfectly content to throw insults back at him now that he has insulted people like me. And regarding the woman he met the next morning - yeah, maybe he's right. Maybe her husband didn't join her for breakfast because their wedding wasn't a big deal. Or maybe their marriage is based on a shared principle of giving each other space to breathe and being able to spend time apart. Maybe her husband is actually a jerk and she made a terrible choice. Maybe they both had a lot of fun at their wedding, and she deals with hangovers by eating eggs. My point is, HE DOESN'T KNOW. And by making an assumption about that woman's marriage and her lifestyle without knowing anything about her, he is doing the exact same thing that the name-callers did to him - they made assumptions about what his marriage would be like based on his lifestyle choices. And some might say that, as a victim of the same, he's justified in doing so. But the last time I checked, "turn the other cheek" was a fairly universal Christian principle.
ReplyDeletewell, great. you just summarized my post in, like, 1/3 of the words! now no one's going to come back tomorrow to read :(
ReplyDeletehaha - but CLEARLY great minds think alike and I'm so glad we got to talk about this the other night. and thank you.
Ha! Sorry. I swear I didn't know that was what you were going to say. Feel free to delete my comment if you want. LOL!
ReplyDeleteno way man. anything involving the sexual revolution and freedom of choice gets to be said more than once :)
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see what the final version of THE post is. :) You go, girl.
ReplyDelete