tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post7690438523585073107..comments2023-12-24T08:02:36.605-05:00Comments on Betsy Transatlantically: Finding The CommonBetsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04953626122327472245noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-74188412263906644342013-02-18T15:42:40.532-05:002013-02-18T15:42:40.532-05:00I can't wait to see what the final version of ...I can't wait to see what the final version of THE post is. :) You go, girl.Lindsayhttp://twitter.com/SapphireLindsaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-3958176464997274762013-02-18T11:58:13.004-05:002013-02-18T11:58:13.004-05:00no way man. anything involving the sexual revoluti...no way man. anything involving the sexual revolution and freedom of choice gets to be said more than once :)Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-42657465171537763002013-02-18T11:50:11.970-05:002013-02-18T11:50:11.970-05:00Ha! Sorry. I swear I didn't know that was what...Ha! Sorry. I swear I didn't know that was what you were going to say. Feel free to delete my comment if you want. LOL!Colleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-80958877127097980292013-02-18T11:44:17.585-05:002013-02-18T11:44:17.585-05:00well, great. you just summarized my post in, like,...well, great. you just summarized my post in, like, 1/3 of the words! now no one's going to come back tomorrow to read :(<br /><br /><br />haha - but CLEARLY great minds think alike and I'm so glad we got to talk about this the other night. and thank you.Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-68320335985404800112013-02-18T11:34:31.780-05:002013-02-18T11:34:31.780-05:00Here's the major problem I have with this arti...Here's the major problem I have with this article: he's contributing to the exact same cultural judgement that he himself has a problem with. Should others have judged him, laughed at him, made fun of him? Of course not. The sexual revolution, much like the feminist movement, was about being about to make your own sexual choices without judgement. And lines like "Looking back, I think that the women saying those things felt like the floozies they ultimately were, and the men, with their fickle manhood tied to their pathetic sexual conquests, felt threatened" are just as damaging to freedom of sexual expression as people pointing and laughing at those who choose NOT to have sex. Both having an active, out-of-wedlock sex life and waiting until marriage (or maintaining life-long celibacy) are valid choices, and no one should have the right to judge. But what he doesn't realize is that he is unwittingly one of the causes of the problem. I know that intended to use inflammatory language to defend his choice. But you know what? By his definition, I'm a floozy, and I'm perfectly content to throw insults back at him now that he has insulted people like me. And regarding the woman he met the next morning - yeah, maybe he's right. Maybe her husband didn't join her for breakfast because their wedding wasn't a big deal. Or maybe their marriage is based on a shared principle of giving each other space to breathe and being able to spend time apart. Maybe her husband is actually a jerk and she made a terrible choice. Maybe they both had a lot of fun at their wedding, and she deals with hangovers by eating eggs. My point is, HE DOESN'T KNOW. And by making an assumption about that woman's marriage and her lifestyle without knowing anything about her, he is doing the exact same thing that the name-callers did to him - they made assumptions about what his marriage would be like based on his lifestyle choices. And some might say that, as a victim of the same, he's justified in doing so. But the last time I checked, "turn the other cheek" was a fairly universal Christian principle.Colleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-36606754397645257702013-02-18T11:30:33.446-05:002013-02-18T11:30:33.446-05:00The conversation between the Dalai Lama and Bishop...The conversation between the Dalai Lama and Bishop Tutu pretty much made my day when I read it a few weeks ago. I've long admired them both, but that just solidified why they are so dynamic.Gescinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-23362936200664267822013-02-18T10:48:20.488-05:002013-02-18T10:48:20.488-05:00Unlike the writer, I think for a lot of people the...Unlike the writer, I think for a lot of people there is no right or wrong here; he does what he thinks is best for him and his wife. I wouldn't dream of telling someone who practiced abstinence that they were wrong but I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to shut up about it. And yes, I was thinking just the same thing; he was probably reporting his side of the meeting with the wife from the inferior couple, making it look like she was upset or shamefaced about their wedding being a (gasp) party. She was probably sitting there thinking about what a prat he was.<br />I doubt he has converted anyone to his way of thinking with that article and probably made a few un-fans, myself included.expatmumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-31430091203841701552013-02-18T09:53:09.566-05:002013-02-18T09:53:09.566-05:00But yes, I agree positive is better :)But yes, I agree positive is better :)Kate Harveyhttp://something-ivory.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-70793739271625960752013-02-18T09:51:20.991-05:002013-02-18T09:51:20.991-05:00Thanks Betsy! I think I just viewed his article as...Thanks Betsy! I think I just viewed his article as a piece of comedy (with underlying seriousness). He was trying to be "offensive," trying to get people riled up, a tactic many comedians use. That's why I wasn't angered by it.Kate Harveyhttp://something-ivory.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-21217980531171548722013-02-18T09:42:47.523-05:002013-02-18T09:42:47.523-05:00toot away - I think that's beautifully written...toot away - I think that's beautifully written! like I said to Georgia, I (and most people, I'd imagine) respond better to positive and constructive opinions, even when they differ.<br /><br /><br />but you raise a good point, one that I have been asking myself over the past few weeks - if someone wrote something that was this offensive but I agreed with his basic points, would I get angry? I certainly hope so!Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-54826078808927469592013-02-18T09:24:52.627-05:002013-02-18T09:24:52.627-05:00think that's what he was going for :Pthink that's what he was going for :PBetsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-6546103059616274942013-02-18T09:24:39.691-05:002013-02-18T09:24:39.691-05:00oh GOOD. if you click on the link in the body of t...oh GOOD. if you click on the link in the body of the post, you can read his whole conversation with the Dalai Lama - wish I could have been there!Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-91018684793946445072013-02-18T09:23:55.080-05:002013-02-18T09:23:55.080-05:00ah yes Kate (below) linked to this too! it's S...ah yes Kate (below) linked to this too! it's SO much easier to respect an opposing viewpoint when it's written this encouragingly and positively and lovingly.Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-8942081027329985682013-02-18T09:21:52.097-05:002013-02-18T09:21:52.097-05:00I think it's important to remember that he'...I think it's important to remember that he's a comedian, and he's certainly going for provocative! But like I said before, I can see why some people are offended.<br /><br />I actually wrote an article (not to toot my own horn, but because you might be interested!) recently on a similar topic, very different style, if you'd like to read it :) <br />http://www.mercatornet.com/tiger_print/view/11327Kate Harveyhttp://something-ivory.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-34917177637407642922013-02-18T09:19:37.174-05:002013-02-18T09:19:37.174-05:00i am incredibly moved by archbishop tutu's quo...i am incredibly moved by archbishop tutu's quote. as i read, i really felt his words. then, comfort & hope washed over me.siddathorntonhttp://siddathornton.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-82726109253956833862013-02-18T08:38:45.831-05:002013-02-18T08:38:45.831-05:00I just read that and I'm enraged! What a jerk ...I just read that and I'm enraged! What a jerk that guy is.Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-33382538426954792092013-02-18T07:10:31.092-05:002013-02-18T07:10:31.092-05:00ha yes maybe that was a silly question on my end -...ha yes maybe that was a silly question on my end - can't believe people don't walk around Alabama with the equivalent of a big red A on their chests! :PBetsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-75741562736152265102013-02-17T22:28:06.247-05:002013-02-17T22:28:06.247-05:00I'm having a difficult time imagining public r...I'm having a difficult time imagining public reaction to this around here. speaking just in terms of people I know personally (and well-ish), there are plenty who are very pro-sex regardless of marital status. but then there are also plenty of people (including many of my friends) with very strong religious convictions who as a result are choosing to wait until marriage; I doubt that these beliefs extend as far as criminalizing and belittling people who choose not to wait (unlike this author). I'm sure there are plenty of people here who would agree with him, unfortunately. but I don't really know - sex is not something that gets discussed too much.kaityhttp://browniediaries.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-43817823712175143912013-02-17T18:46:08.673-05:002013-02-17T18:46:08.673-05:00Sure! I think this article did a really nice (NON-...Sure! I think this article did a really nice (NON-polarizing) job. <br /><br /><br />http://joannahyatt.com/2013/02/05/great-sex-where-do-you-find-it/ <br /><br /><br /><br />Love your blog, keep the thoughtful posts coming :) :)Georgia Christakisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-31950736338143670502013-02-17T18:16:51.233-05:002013-02-17T18:16:51.233-05:00so I would be interested to hear what your neighbo...so I would be interested to hear what your neighbors/classmates think of all this? because I remember saying that you were a dot of blue in a sea of red...Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-37622259247671404772013-02-17T18:16:13.657-05:002013-02-17T18:16:13.657-05:00me too - which is why I was only able to address a...me too - which is why I was only able to address a small part of the article and the ensuing debate in the piece I wrote. I didn't trust myself not to venture into all caps and extra punctuation!Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-11269327558439256552013-02-17T17:10:53.325-05:002013-02-17T17:10:53.325-05:00I read that article when posted on twitter and my ...I read that article when posted on twitter and my goodness, it nearly left me speechless. Nearly. I'm looking forward to the upcoming discussion on your blog but I will say, I also find it hard when I feel so utterly passionate about something and someone else doesn't share those thoughts. While I certainly respect differing opinions, it's often hard to see how some are formed and to find peace when we have to agree to disagree.Jayhttp://www.fromtheretoheretheblog.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-81066058287047727912013-02-17T16:14:28.600-05:002013-02-17T16:14:28.600-05:00oh Georgia I'm glad to hear you say that! I T...oh Georgia I'm glad to hear you say that! I TOTALLY get how pop culture is a huge force of pressure in and of itself, but it is a bit of a relief to hear that you haven't been attacked personally. I'm sure that not everyone who makes the same choice is so lucky, but still. And yes, I do think Crowder missed a great opportunity - if you find others who haven't, please do share :)Betsy Transatlanticallyhttp://www.betsytransatlantically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-29248858183789424272013-02-17T15:58:12.227-05:002013-02-17T15:58:12.227-05:00what an unbelievably terrible article! (Crowder...what an unbelievably terrible article! (Crowder's, not yours.) No once have I experienced mockery or ridicule for my choices, which happen to be the same as his- and hopefully I have never made others feel judged for choosing a different lifestyle. I guess some people just get a rise out of inflaming others. That being said, we do need a few good pro-abstinence articles out there for young people living in a society where sex is not only common but overly idealized in film, television and media. A shame this guy missed a chance to share his opinions in a positive and inspiring manner.Georgia Christakisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442709270787168376.post-78337014581312441982013-02-17T15:29:43.995-05:002013-02-17T15:29:43.995-05:00I hadn't read/heard of that article until you ...I hadn't read/heard of that article until you linked to it here, and now I'm really wishing I hadn't clicked it. good grief, that writer has pissed me off! there's a polite/respectful/respectable way to express your opinions, and then there's his way - which insults pretty much every single person who isn't him or his wife. gahhh.kaityhttp://browniediaries.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com