[Expletive] Betsy Says

You've seen those [Expletive] Girls Say videos, right?  I follow them on Twitter and retweet 95% of what they come up with.  (Don't judge!  I know you do it, too.)   My favorite spin-off is the Jewish Mothers one; I was aching with laughter by 0:53, at which point I started crying because it hit so close to home. When Eliza made her own... well, I knew I wanted to do the same!

I enlisted my fiancé, my sister, and my dad to help.  They each came up with five things I say the most often, and I'm slightly ashamed to admit that they're all spot on!

Editor's note: after I drafted this post and included Jon and Dad's contributions, Sarah emailed me.  Not only had she given me five examples, but she'd written a fantastic intro (and pasted in a closing tweet) that I have to share with you.

When Betsy first told me that she was writing an [Expletive] Betsy Says post with the help of those who know her best (our dad and Jon), I have to admit I was a bit apprehensive. The whole [Expletive] Girls/Jewish Mothers/Whomever movement amuses its audiences because it parodies the person/group and fits them in a little box – and then lets us laugh at them for their “typical” thoughts, sighs, and outbursts. So, when Betsy asked for my input, my hesitation stemmed from two places: first, I don’t want anything I suggest to be seen as offensive, when in fact, everything I have listed below is meant to be endearing. Secondly, I would never want my suggestions to paint Betsy into a one-dimensional box, the way that parodies sometimes do to their subjects. But with that being said, I trust that you, her Dear Readers, know enough about our multifaceted subject, her other interests and hobbies, as well as her diverse personality to see the following as neither insulting, belittling, nor constricting of who she is.