... to talk to your dog as if he's a toddler.
"Was that a big truck, Charlie? That was a big truck. Wasn't that a big truck!"
... to swear up and down that you're not giving people food to your dog while bribing him with Cheerios.
Cereal doesn't really count as food, per se.
... to have entire conversations about bowel movements.
Asking if a poop was good or bad is completely acceptable when you have a dog who likes to eat everything.
... to decide to run towards a tree just as your dog spots a squirrel on the trunk.
Your need for a burst of cardio has nothing to do with his inevitable lunge forward, obviously.
... to tell your dog that he's given you enough kisses while shoving your face by his snout.
He doesn't listen to you anyway, so he won't be confused by the mixed messages.
... to get territorial when your father calls your dog "my boy" and thinks of him as the son he never had.
You missed your chance, mister; your childbearing years are long over and he's mine.
... to learn to sleep on your side because your dog's taking up too much of your bed for you to sleep flat.
After all, he deserves to be comfortable, too.
... to explain that your dog doesn't go to daycare because of issues with separation anxiety.
You should be fine as long as people don't find out that they're your issues, not his.
I mean, right? You dog-owners out there understand. What would you add?
first Hey, It's Okay... post here