Follow Your Dreams (part one)

Much of blogging is aspirational; I love that this medium affords us the opportunity to stretch our wings in new ways, to explore undiscovered paths through life and to access an infinite number of possible futures.  But I have to tell you, dear readers, that I feel like there's incredible pressure in this blogging world of ours to dream big in a very specific direction.  I wrote an open letter to 20-something lifestyle bloggers back in June, but my sense of this pressure has only intensified and I want to address it again.

Mackenzie Horan of Design Darling wrote last Thursday in defense of her decision to start her own business.  "It saddens me," she says, "to read backlash from people who write public, negative, and thinly-veiled commentary about those who have left salaried positions to strike out on their own."  As I'm not an entrepreneur, I haven't seen any of this criticism, though I understand it's out there.  However, what I have seen - and what I feel I keep seeing over and over and over again - are exhortations to break free and chart your own route.

I have the utmost respect for the women (and men) we read about who have the courage to walk away from the familiar world of desk jobs and conference rooms and staff meetings into the unknown of working for themselves.  But I'm afraid that, in our community, that exact kind of courage seems to be the only sort we praise unequivocally. Sure, everybody will leave you lovely notes of congratulations if you get a raise or a promotion at work.  But I don't know that this community appreciates that asking for that raise or applying for that promotion takes courage, too.  It really seems to me like a professional announcement isn't good enough if it's not a proclamation along the lines of "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty I'm free at last."

And that actually seems more stifling than anything else.  We talk about how we're here for each other and I truly do believe that we are, deep down, but I also think that we need to broaden our definition of what it means to follow your dreams.  Some of us can't wait until we can go completely freelance.  Some of us can't wait until we can claim the corner office.  Some of us don't yet know what we're waiting for or striving for - and that's okay, because it's important for us to feel like we're in a safe space that gives us the freedom and flexibility to figure it out in our own time.

It's possible that I'm blowing this out of proportion.  After all, I work in a creative industry and I love it, but my goal is to head into the corporate world, where I can't get away with jersey dresses and flip flops on a regular basis and where there's an endless supply of logo'd pencils and legal pads.  Maybe I just don't see many women like me in our blogging community and maybe I'm feeling a bit outnumbered.  But even if that's the case, it's important to highlight the fact that we can do whatever we want - and that should take whatever shape we each want it to.

Dreaming big is important, but so is dreaming for yourself.  We should all encourage unique dreams, even if they're dreams we don't understand.  This community can't move forward without them.