Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Blogging Etiquette: Weddings

This isn't the announcement of a new series on this blog - even though I've been dying to create Wedding Wednesdays posts ever since Jon and I got engaged - but rather a question for all of you, dear readers:

what's the etiquette
when talking about wedding planning?

I don't mean talking about wedding planning in an abstract sense; I mean talking about planning my wedding.  I want to share my thoughts and our decisions with you all, but I'm kind of concerned about the money part of the conversation.

There, I said it.  It's about the money.  It always is, though, isn't it?

Jon and I are incredibly lucky in that our parents are very generously helping us pay for our celebration, which gives us more options than if we were responsible for the whole piggybank.  Of course I'm not going to tell you details about our budget, but you can easily Google costs if I tell you who our photographer is or what venue we've chosen.  That makes me sort of uncomfortable, and I imagine it might make some of you uncomfortable, too.  But, at the same time, I do want to tell you about the specifics of this exciting process that we're going through.  I don't want to just post pretty pictures of wedding-related things because there are plenty of those around the interwebs already - I want to make this conversation personal.  So how do I do that while maintaining our appropriate distances?  Please help!


  1. My personal thoughts? Someone who's going to google your details just to know the costs (and not because they're legitimately interested in the photographer/cake baker/venue) is a nosy stalker... oh, sorry, was that harsh?!?! I think if you want to share your planning fun/frustrations/excitements/disappointments, you should. I mean, if you ride in on a glitter-painted elephant, I might be crazy jealous... but otherwise I'll just celebrate vicariously and wish we'd been older/more mature/had the dough when we got married ;)

  2. I totally agree with the comments above. Eventually you will put up the name of the venue and vendors so if they are that crazy they can google it whenever. Who cares about what peole's all about making the day special and the way you guys want it. Plus prices on websites are never the real's all about negioating every single wedding details. =)

    I started to write about our wedding on our blog but then stopped because I didn't watn to give away the details of the day before it happened. I want our guests to be surprised and not know exactly what the day will be like before it actually comes.

    Good luck planning!

  3. Who cares about the cost? Do mature people really judge on that?

  4. Betsy

    This is *your* blog and *your wedding* and if I were you, I would share as much or as little about your plans as *you* wish.

    If you try to make everyone happy with everyone you post, it will become a job unto itself and doing so would dilute the personality of your lovely blog!

    The people who appreciate your blog will be happy to read what you choose to share about your special day. If people are jealous, it's not your problem.

    Best wishes from a devoted reader in London,

  5. Everything personal bloggers write is a window onto their financial status. Readers can get a fair idea of money matters based on where our families live, what school(s) we went to, where in the world we live, where in London we live, what kind of flat we have, what kind and how many vacations we take, what we do for a living (whether it's a highly-paid job or one that you have to be able to afford to do), what clothes we buy, etc.

    I know some people are super weird about money, but I just think when bloggers happily write about all the above stuff not to mention all their meals, all their outfits, every detail of their child's life (with pictures), photos and stats about their weight gain/loss, intimiate conversations with their loved ones, family losses, details about their professional life, etc etc, I can't see being shy about money of all things.

    There are a couple of expat bloggers who annoy me because they make a point of projecting wealth and consequently sound very pretentious. But if you're just sharing the pricier details of your wedding, it's no different from saying you had dinner at a nice restaurant, went on a nice vacation, or moved to a nice part of town. The price is not your point. And everything else about you in your blog comes across as quite down to earth and modest.

    In short - I wouldn't worry. :)

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  7. I agree with everyone else - people who are nosy enough to want to know will infer what they want regardless if you post about location or flowers or what have you. I would never look up someone's venue to see how much it cost!

    On the other hand I love readiing about weddings so please post away :)

  8. I totally agree with all of these posts! If someone's going to go through the trouble of looking up prices, they have a serious problem. I would love for you to share and see the progress! (Also, if you need any help at all, I'd love to help! I'm hoping to get into wedding planning!)

  9. I for one wouldn't google about the costs. Seems a bit weird. I am not ever planning on having a big wedding so I have to live vicariously through others so please - go the whole hog!

  10. I agree with all the other comments. feel free to post everything and anything you want to share with your readers - I know that I'm looking forward to the details

    [Treasure Tromp] 

  11. I have searched for the cost of a venue-because it was incredible and I was curious! And I actually found out it wasn't as much as I had thought! If you don't want to reveal too much, perhaps talk about various options for wherever you're getting married, photographer, etc., and what you'd get at that price. I've read blogs where people get married at like The Ritz and all I really thought was, 'way out of my budget!'

  12. I'd love to see all your wedding planning moments and I don't think that anyone will be put off by prices or anything. It helps others who are planning a wedding (or wishing they were) to see fun options. So go ahead!

  13. It's your blog, do whatever you want :) But, it sounds you feel a bit uncomfortable about the money? Because someone might know how much was spent and make a judgment on it? Who cares what they think? And who cares if they know?

    I certainly didn't. I had a small actual wedding with 10 of the people who were closest to me in the world and then we had several small receptions in two countries over four months so that we could celebrate and actually enjoy people. (Been to too many weddings where people said it was a blur and I thought that was a lot of money to spend on something that I wouldn't remember...)

    We still have friends that tell us they loved our 'slumber party' at a Texas spa ranch that was one the four receptions, where about 30 of us met out there, danced and ate under the stars, got spa treatments, brunch the next day and then tubed down the river. We could do that because we kept everything small and under a strict budget.

    We paid for everything ourselves because it was important that there was no input other than our own. And if someone judged me for that, that's frankly their business.

    You do what you want to do because it's your wedding and your blog.


I love reading your thoughts and suggestions! Please do leave a comment so we can get to know each other better.