Curly Girl

When I was a freshman in college, a friend and I went to an event for single girls at the Bliss in midtown Manhattan on Valentine's Day.  We were excited about the complimentary champagne, brownies, eyebrow waxes, and hand massages.  Unbeknownst to us - because we didn't read the rest of the event information - there was another treat in store for us: a high-end matchmaker who had recently written a best-selling book on dating and who was there to share her wisdom.

Some of what this woman said was decent advice; basically, she encouraged us to be more proactive about meeting men.  But the overwhelming thing I remember about the night was this: when a girl with beautiful curls asked a question about first date etiquette, the matchmaker told her that, above anything else she might do to prepare for a first date, she should straighten her hair.  Men, the yenta said, like running their hands through a woman's hair, and curls get in the way of their fantasy.

I'm sorry, what?  Are you kidding me?  I tuned out the rest of the q&a session as soon as I heard this [expletive].  Sure, men are tactile beings and a woman's hair can be a sign of femininity, but if a guy is going to like me, he's going to like me for being the whole package - and that includes my curly hair.

However, it's easy to emotionally embrace having curly hair.  Logistically, curly hair is very difficult to manage.  It never dries the same way twice, and certainly never maintains its form throughout the day.  It's such a handful to deal with that even celebrities with curly hair have their locks professionally curled for events to ensure consistency.  I know this because I once took my stylist a few photos of Amy Brenneman, whose hair I adore, and he told me that there was no way her look was totally natural even if she actually did have curly hair.

I wasn't brave enough to wear my hair down and curly until college.  It didn't used to be curly - it was full and wavy when I was a child but freaked out when I hit puberty - and I didn't know how to handle it until I was about 18.  It took at least an hour, assuming I had the patience to finish the job, to straighten it myself, and so for most of my life I wore my hair up or paid for blow-dries.  In college, I had the time and inclination to start messing around with products, and spent a few years experimenting with what my hair could do.

        2004                                              2006                                              2008

Once I started playing with it, I loved my curly hair.  I still splurged on blow-outs for special occasions, but I enjoyed the feeling that wearing my hair down and curly gave me - I felt a bit more spontaneous, a bit more fun, a bit more free.  I'm so enthusiastic about embracing my natural curl, in fact, that now that I'm comfortable with it I've cut right down on the products I use and I almost always just air-dry.  I definitely endorse the brands I use, but the one thing I've learned about having curly hair is this: it's unpredictable.  What works one day might not work the next, and it's even more of a crap shoot when you throw English weather into the equation!

The main point to remember with curly hair is to not over-shampoo it.  At the most, you can use shampoo every other day, but my stylist recommended I only use it once a week because it dries out my hair so much.  (Don't worry, apparently shampoo isn't strictly necessary to keep your hair clean; unless you've been playing in the mud, just water will wash out most of the day's grime.)  A good conditioner with serious moisturizing power is key, and you should add something strengthening twice a month.  I'm a firm believer in spending drug-store prices where possible and so use head&shoulders, Pantene, and Dove:

To be honest, since I had the accident with styling product a few months ago, I've mostly been going without using anything additional on my hair because I'm scared that the chemicals will migrate to my eyes - I just wash, gently scrunch dry with a towel, and go.  But when I do use product, I either go for Frederick Fekkai's anti-friz glossing cream or Frizz Ease's curl-enhancing mousse - and then I throw in a lot of bobby pins, too!

How about you, curly girls?  Love your hair or hate it?  What do you use to manage the curls?