Monday, July 28, 2014

Don't Try So Hard

When I was in 4th grade, I thought that I'd never be kissed because my lips were always chapped.  The girls on screen and in magazines who got kissed only ever had perfectly smooth lips; ergo, you need unchapped lips to be kissed.  It wasn't an immediate concern since I wasn't actively hoping to be kissed by boys when I was 11, but I distinctly remember thinking that I had a few years to work on my lips so that they'd be kissable when I wanted them to be.

Since then, there's almost always been something I've thought I needed to improve in order to be found attractive, from my hair to my skin to my weight.  It's taken years (six of which I've spent with the most generous, supportive, and loving man) for me to realize that, while there are things I can do to be healthier and more comfortable in my own body, the changes I should make have very little to do with feeling - or being seen as - more beautiful.  I already am beautiful, chapped lips and all.

post-shower, post-walk; pre-ready for the day

Jon and I Skyped last night and, near the end of the conversation, I asked him the following question:

"What is the first thing you think when you roll over in the morning and see me?"

He paused.

"That you're beautiful?"

I laughed and assured him that it wasn't a trick question, explaining the purpose of this Don't Try So Hard link-up.  He seemed a bit bemused.  I repeated the question.

"Well," Jon replied slowly, "the first thing I think is that I'm very lucky."

"And the second?"

"I wonder when Charlie is going to land on us."

And there you have it, dear readers: priorities.  Leave it to my husband and my dog to remind me that trying hard should not be at the top of my list!

Treasure Tromp

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27 comments:

  1. Aw, such a sweet ending. Sometimes it can just be hard to accept what you ended up with, but I agree that small changes to make overall life better then make you overall happier, and that's what you really need to focus on. I'll try and remember that the next time I get a pimple. :)

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  2. Nothing more to say, except I love this and you look beautiful in that picture! We tend to think we only look beautiful when we're all done up and put together, but you look like someone who is on the move, rosy cheeks from walking your crazy pup in the early morning, curly hair from the humidity, and ready to start your day! Love it!

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  3. Love this. I feel the same way, for a long time I always felt "different" in the way I looked and what I wanted my life to be, but as I'm matured through my 20's, I've become so much more content and happy to not look like every other girl on the street.

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  4. I love love LOVE those natural curls and those eyebrows are killer! You are totally rocking this linkup. And your husband is right... he is a lucky man!

    Thank you SO much for linking up with up!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  5. love that! everyone deserves to be with someone who loves them for who they are :) xoox

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  6. First, Jon is awesome and completely right! Second, you are beautiful. I wish that I had your hair, because it is so pretty!

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  7. I definitely "aww'ed" aloud. It's true- you are beautiful! And I'm very glad that you realise it.


    (I also know that Sam would immediately think it was a trick question... or possibly a trap!) x

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  8. haha much easier said than done for sure - especially when pimples invade!

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  9. YAY and I'm so glad you joined the link-up too! this is the blog community at its best :)

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  10. it would be so boring if we all conformed to standard ideals! I love the old compliment "striking" because it indicates something so much more unique, you know?

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  11. I got my eyebrows from my mom! I will pass on the compliment to her too :)

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  12. aw thank you! the day I learned to stop worrying and embrace the curl was an empowering one for sure :)

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  13. haha I definitely think Jon thought it was a trap. I should have prepped him before asking!

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  14. I wish my hair had even a fraction of your curls - I got perms a couple of times when I was a teenager to try and give my hair body and eventually gave up because my hair would be stick straight again in a day. Your hair is gorgeous.


    Loved the convo with Jon at the end - Scott always starts looking wary when I start asking questions like that, and I have yet to train him that it isn't a trap, but the part with Charlie landing on you made me guffaw. It's bad when you're worrying about a cat jumping on your head, but I can only imagine the impact of an exuberant lab!

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  15. Oh totally... and I love that compliment as well.

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  16. Great post! That is when Luke prefers me - when I have that just woken up look that no one else gets to see! How lovely x

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  17. Aww, I love this. Beau always amazes me with his utter nonchalance towards makeup or nice clothes or perfect hair. It's nice to be always beautiful to at least one person.

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  18. I just asked my husband the same thing and he said "how much I love you" without any hesitation. You are a Beautiful person!

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  19. Oh Betsy, you are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I love that conversation with Jon and am not at all surprised that he thought it was a trick question (I would think so, ha)!
    Thank you for linking up and sharing your natural beauty and priorities with us!

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  20. That conversation with your husband is so funny. And he's right, you are totally beautiful.

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  21. ha perfect answer from your husband! he is definitely luck and you look so great!

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  22. I love this! What a great idea for a linkup. It's funny how much our husbands don't even think about us wearing or not wearing makeup. I don't wear makeup most of the time, so I feel really comfortable without it, but I'm glad more people are embracing the natural look. I think there have been studies done that show men often prefer us that way anyway. Plus I'm lazy ;) One thing I like about your face are your eyes. I always feel like my eyelids droop a bit, which bothers me, but yours look great. No drooping to be seen!

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  23. I think this is an extremely important thing for all of us women to remember, that our changes should be from our heart and mind and not out outward appearance... I say that, but it's hard not to have that thinking of wanting better this or that or this body or that hair... But I completely love this post... As long as you love you... that's what matters... and you're extra blessed with a puppy and hubby that love you too!
    Tammy

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  24. PS... I'm so glad that I am following you now, I am loving your story, and can relate so much to it, I also see others struggling with the long distance stress and I look forward to the day when it's all finished for you!
    Tammy x

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  25. Mira Johnson, CPCAugust 6, 2014 at 9:01 PM

    Betsy, you have gorgeous eyes and brows! Such a cute nose too. I hope #nomakeup selfies become a real trend to balance out the unrealistic expectations the media has created.

    Thank you for being a part of this link-up, you're so brave =)

    I've joined in too!

    http://bit.ly/1pXMAOS

    (a video of me shaving my head, intimate & vulnerable)

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  26. Awww, I love this post! I've been having numerous conversations with friends and my sister about our self-image and the pandemic of body shaming. It's wonderful to read posts about having some self-love. Rock on with the positivity xx

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