Monday, October 7, 2013

Saturday Morning in DC With(out) Jon

A few weeks ago, I guest-vlogged on Found Love, Now What about what Jon and I have learned from being in a long distance relationship while dating, engaged, and, now, married.  Here's how I'd condense what I said: it's hard.

For the most part, though, Jon and I have settled into a decent rhythm on opposite sides of the Atlantic.  Wedding planning stress has been replaced with visa stress - about which you'll hear more on Wednesday - but we're pretty much okay when we're not discussing forms and affidavits and the fact that notaries public are not a normal UK thing.  (Come on, Brits.  Get it together.)  In fact, we joke that we'll still correspond almost exclusively by Viber and Skype even when we're living together because those methods of communicating are just so much a part of our lives!  It's a sad fact that we're used to being long distance; I stopped being angry about how unfair it is a long time ago.

When I do get frustrated, though, it's over mundane things.  When I discover a new bar that he'd want to make a regular haunt or I choose a lamp for the living room based on aesthetic styles he prefers, I throw a little tantrum in my head because he's not there to share these totally banal experiences with me.  Sometimes I just want to try a recipe that I know he'd like and be able to see his expression when he takes the first bite, you know?

I had a little flare-up of But Why Is This Happening To Us on Saturday morning, when Charlie and I wandered to my new favorite farmers market on 14th and U.  We usually find our way to the little one at All Souls Church near the Woodley Park metro stop - I still love it and totally recommend it to anyone in the area - but I wanted a longer walk and a new route so I decided to check out the bigger one a bit south of where I live.

We meandered through Mt Pleasant, Lanier Heights, and Adams Morgan to 16th Street and then through Meridian Hill Park, which was technically closed due to the shutdown, to the southeast corner at 15th and W, and then made our way to the Wydown on U between 13th and 14th for coffee before stocking up on produce, fresh bread, and flowers at the farmers market.  By the time we left, we'd been out in the sun for an hour and a half and Charlie was tired from sniffing so many new things and making so many new friends, so we cut across V to 16th and walked straight up back home, where Charlie passed out for a good few hours.  I made myself a chai and sat down with my laptop and a croissant, and - well, that's it.  It was a wonderful Saturday morning, totally unusual in any way but glorious nonetheless, and I was so sad not to share it with Jon.

This time next year, though, he'll be here - and we'll have four hands to deal with holding Charlie and picking food and juggling bags and balancing coffee and taking photos!  I can't wait.
















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21 comments:

  1. I completely agree it tends to be about the little things you wish you could share. And best of luck that all of your visa stuff goes smoothly! I know all too well those headaches.

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  2. Thank God for Skype. It was the best thing possible when Scott and I were 6000 miles apart earlier this summer, and it carried us through a lot of our long distance dating period, too. It helps just being able to see your significant other's slightly pixelated face every once in a while.


    Hope this goes fast for you guys and the visa process doesn't create more than the expected headaches.

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  3. I've so often wondered how you and Jon have been able to cope with long distance over the years... you two seem to handle it so well, or at least as well as possible. Jurgen and I did long distance over two different 5 month periods and it about killed me. You are so much more graceful and mature about it than I was. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I was a junior in college and at that stage felt as though distance was the equivalent of my life ending, ha! In any event, I know exactly what you mean about missing doing the mundane things together, going to markets or watching a series. I'm so glad that the end is in sight for you... this is the home stretch! :) xxx

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  4. thank you! counting down the days until we get the [expletive] thing submitted - then we just have to wait.

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  5. haha Jon looks good slightly pixelated :P thank you!

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  6. oh Jenna... I told Jon you said I was graceful about it and here's what he texted back:


    hahahahaha
    megaLOLz
    we project well


    so... there's the truth for you! haha :)

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  7. yes! I love living here - I hope Jon will too because I have some ONE DAY I WILL BUY YOU houses in the hood :)

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  8. Georgia ChristakisOctober 7, 2013 at 7:10 PM

    I have these moments allll the time...I was discussing it with my cousin (who's now married to a Swede but did long distance from CHINA, for goodness' sake!) and she gave me honestly THE best advice about it.

    "it's about perspective. You guys are already plagued with physical distance but in today's day & age between Skype, Whatsapp, Viber etc there is no reason not to stay connected all the time. You just have to choose to be ok with it. For me, I chose to "embrace the freedom" meaning even though I missed my BF alot, I chose to just sort of see it in a linear fashion -- now i am with him, now i am not, and eventually we will be together."

    She's a life coach, can you tell?

    regardless, those silly little day to day things that you don't get to do together make me miss him the most- doing the dishes, catching a sunrise, checking out the new gastro-pub in the neighborhood- these are things I want to do with my best friend, and can't. It's hard to live with half your heart in the present and half of it yearning for some vague distant future.

    Sorry for the novel! obviously this post struck close to home :)

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  9. What a pretty day in DC. :) Well, I can keep you company until Job is here.

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  10. I know just how you feel. It really isn't fair, and those regular moments are the ones best shared. I still get a little giddy about running errands around town with my husband--it's such a married-and-we-live-together thing to do! Yesterday we had to get basics like toilet paper and bananas for breakfast and it was so nice wandering around the store together. All this to say--you'll get there! If today wasn't a little melancholy, tomorrow wouldn't get a chance to be super sweet in comparison :)

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  11. May I invite myself to stay on your couch for a week? I seriously need to be in this place stat. But in all seriousness, our meager 4 months apart were nothing compared to this, but I know the feeling you're talking about. I honestly think it will make finally being together so much more awesome.

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  12. Hahaha! Distance is so hard! Compared to me though, I think you probably are really handling with grace :) xxx

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  13. This doesn't come even close to a long distance relationship, but I've felt the same since of frustration before, when Matt was working Saturdays (for almost two years). For the most part I was fine, and at times I really didn't mind having the alone time, but every now and then I would get sad/irritated that we couldn't do other saturday things, like go to festivals, or lounge together on the couch, or take a spontaneous road trip. Just hang in there, because once you're together it will be totally amazing.

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  14. I can only imagine how difficult it can be sometimes to be so far from him! I hate when Rob's in class and I'm sitting in our apartment alone. HA. It takes a very strong relationship to sustain what you guys have and it'll be amazing when you two are finally in the same place at the same time! :)

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  15. I love your novels! you and your friend are so right. anyway, I bet I'll be begging Jon to give me my space back when he gets here :P

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  16. I AM OKAY WITH THAT. might be going to District Flea on Saturday morn - wanna come?

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  17. YES as long as you're okay with a dog invading your personal space! haha

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  18. I CAN'T WAIT TO ARGUE OVER BRAND NAME v. STORE BRAND TOILET PAPER WITH HIM AGAIN!

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  19. oh no I get you - when I first moved to London after Jon finished school, he worked retail full time. Since I was working M-F 9-5, I hated that I didn't get Saturdays with him because that's when the store was busiest! But it did make the Saturdays after he quit so much better :)

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  20. Happyeverafter_BrideOctober 9, 2013 at 7:31 AM

    It's no fun being robbed of your time together as newlyweds. I feel you. On gorgeous days, you can feel most alone when everyone else you know seem to have company/ plans. If there is anything you truly want to share with Jon, build a pinboard or tag those blog posts and commit to the plan to share them so that you max your time together catching up on those stolen moments, and there's something to look forward to. :)

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  21. When you guys are able to share those little moments together, you will appreciate it so much! The hubs was living in Mexico during my first year in DC, and it was fun to play tour guide when he moved back stateside and start to build all of "our" moments together.



    P.S. Your photos make me miss my old stomping ground! I need to pop back over there....

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