Betsy Transatlantically

Monday Musings - On Lasting Love

2012-02-13T10:29:00.000Z

There is a fascination, at the moment, with marriages that have endured the test of time; with commitments that have spanned decades and overcome obstacles and come out stronger and wiser on the other side of a vow that is, today, so often taken too lightly.

We live in an era of instant gratification in a world where scandals are just a Tweet away and freshly-recorded music from the next big star can be downloaded from YouTube minutes after it is created and political upsets are live-blogged from the campaign trail. We demand satisfaction quickly - we want fulfillment and we want it now.

It's lovely, therefore, to be reminded that some things get better with time. I don't know if I believe in love at first sight but I do believe that love can be all the better for evolving as a slow burn over the years, and because of that I look to couples who have been through all that comes with a half-century of marriage for inspiration, for hope, and for guidance.

If you haven't heard Danny and Annie Perasa's romance on StoryCorps, please listen to it here. It will touch you wherever you are in life and will illuminate that the best of love can be found in the most mundane of places and the most monumental of decisions.

This Valentine's Day, who inspires you to commit to love?

both images via Lauren Fleischman's Love Ever After project

Valentine's Day Dinner

2012-02-12T18:04:00.000Z

Okay, I know that I keep going on about how Jon and I "don't celebrate Valentine's Day" but that's not entirely true because I am simply too much of a girl to let the holiday escape without some notice! He'll be coming over for dinner on Tuesday night; cards will be read, candles will be lit, wine will be poured, and - if I'm lucky - flowers will be arranged. Also, I will probably cry. (Who says that Valentine's Day can't be classy? Not this lady, no sir.)

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As I've noted before, the way to a man's heart is often through his stomach, and there's something almost mythical about boys at every age yearning for the classic foods of childhood. Since Jon finds such profound contentment in simple dishes, I'm going to pull out a move from my The Lady and the Tramp cookbook* and make spaghetti with meatballs tomorrow night. We'll probably start with an easy spinach salad and we'll definitely finish with Gü chocolate souffles, but the star of the meal will absolutely be the main, even though I'm going to cheat and use store-bought sauce because it's a weeknight and I just do not have the energy or the will to do everything from scratch.

image via

Spaghetti with Meatballs
serves 2 with serious leftovers

1/4 lbs ground veal
1/4 lbs ground pork
1/2 lbs ground beef
2/3 c breadcrumbs
1 tbs chopped parsley
1/4 c grated Parmesean
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 medium egg, beaten
1/3 c warm water
olive oil
vegetable oil

Combine all of the ingredients except the oils in a bowl, making sure to keep a light hand when mixing. Form the mixture into 2" balls using your hand and a fork; you'll end up with about 10-12 meatballs, though I have never gotten the same result twice in however many times I've made this.

Pour equal amounts of the oils into a deep skillet to a depth of 1/4". On medium-low heat, brown the meatballs evenly on all sides. Remove to a plate covered with paper towels.

In a heavy pot, heat the sauce (use whatever brand you like best, as I do, or find recipes here, here, and here) until bubbling. Submerge the meatballs as much as possible in the sauce, cover, and simmer on a low heat for 25-30 minutes.

Near the end of the meatball process, make your spaghetti. Serve with plenty of grated Parmesan and extra chopped parsley. Enjoy!

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If you're wondering what to make for your sweetie on Tuesday, just ask Epicurious! They've got a quiz to help you plan the perfect meal. Apparently I should be making a roast chicken with mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts, which was actually my back-up idea. Right on the mark - well done, Epicurious. The Kitchn has some great options as well, perfectly sized for two. If you cook for Valentine's Day, let me know what you end up making!

*Note: I didn't actually know that there really is a Disney cookbook out there. (I mean, of course there is. Long live capitalism and all that.) My recipe is more based off Ina's example.

Refreshing Saturday

2012-02-11T09:48:00.001Z

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Good morning, dear readers! I have to tell you: I am luxuriating over this post today. For the past few weeks, I've been really diligent about planning and writing and scheduling my daily snippets ahead of time. It makes life easier in the long run, but I've found that I do miss the spontaneity of being in the moment when I blog. So this post, composed just after 8am on the very same morning, is going to be deeply satisfying, I think, for both me and you. Long, but satisfying.

(By the way, I know that I promised to tell you my big news soon, but unfortunately it needs a bit more time to percolate. I haven't forgotten - I'm just waiting until the moment is right for all concerned.)

I have a full day of singing tomorrow, but today is blissfully free and I think I'm going to spend it with Jon working on the February Photo a Day challenge. The idea of the game is to inspire you to just a little bit of creativity throughout the month by giving each date a theme or topic that you can interpret any way you like through the medium of photography. However, because my camera officially died recently and I prefer Jon's iPhone to my BlackBerry for taking pictures, I'm going to coerce my lovely and understanding boyfriend into hitting the town to seek out opportunities for a whole bunch of the days. Yes, it's cheating a bit on the point of the challenge - but I'm being honest with you which makes it okay, right? I'll share what we've snapped at the end of the month, so check back on the 29th!

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Since it's still really too early to start the day, I thought I might spend some time playing along with this game of tag that's making the blogging rounds. I first spotted it over at BeantownPrepster but couldn't participate because I am an extremely vocal commenter; luckily, Karen picked up the game next and has invited everyone to join in - so here goes!

rules:

1. post the rules

2. post 11 facts about yourself

3. answer the tagger's 11 questions and then set a new 11 questions

4. tag 11 bloggers to play along

*****

f1: I have been to almost every city/town in England that has a major cathedral or church because three out of the first four times I visited England were on choir tours.

f2: I don't really like most holiday drinks - you can keep your daiquiris and piña coladas and whatever; I'll stick with the basics, thank you.

f3: I can only spend a maximum of two hours in any museum exhibition regardless of how big or interesting it is - I get bored and/or antsy after that.

f4: As a classically-trained soprano, I'd rather sound like a pre-pubescent boy than a Wagnerian diva - that much vibrato, no matter how appropriate it is, scares me.

f5: I refuse to use lip balm that comes in tins - there is no reason to get your fingers sticky and oily when you could just buy a tube of chapstick.

f6: There is a tab on my bookmarks bar on my laptop called "TOP SECRET" that includes links to my favorite wedding blogs.

f7: I love scented candles and have quite a few around my flat but I rarely light them - I mostly buy them because they look pretty and have enticing names.

f8: I believe that there is no recipe that can't be improved by adding cheese.

f9: I love American cop dramas - my favorite is Law and Order: SVU but I'll even stoop to watch CSI: Miami, especially if I'm homesick.

f10: I buy the Sunday Times every weekend and only read the supplements.

f11: When I wake up in the middle of the night and my leg is hanging off the bed, my first thought (still and always) is that it might get bitten off by the monster under the bed.

*****

q1: If you could have a theme song play when you walk down the street, what would it be?

a1: The Girl from Ipanema

q2: If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, what would it be?

a2: The West Wing

q3: French fries: skinny and crispy or big and mushy?

a3: Big and mushy in England, skinny and crispy in France!

q4: What is your guilty pleasure outfit?

a4: A jersey dress no matter what the weather

q5: Soda: fountain, bottle, or can?

a5: I don't drink soda unless it's in a rum-and-coke.

q6: Favorite thing to do at the gym?

a6: Watch crappy talk shows

q7: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

a7: London - because home is where the heart is!

q8: What is one thing that you carry in your purse that you absolutely cannot live without?

a9: My Oystercard for London's public transport.

q10: What is your most embarrassing habit?

a10: I do this funny thing where I play with my lip in a really awkward way when I'm distracted.

q11: If you could meet and be BFFs with a blogger that you follow, who would it be and why?

a11: Blair's Headband, because her irreverence and down-to-earth reality crack me up; Joelle, because she sees beauty everywhere; and Victoria because she is living her dreams.

*****

1. Why do you blog and/or read blogs?

2. If you could have one celebrity endorse your blog, who would you pick and why?

3. If you could guest-star on any reality show, which would you pick and why?
4. What is your favorite Halloween costume ever from your past?

5. Team Peeta or Team Gale?

6. If you had to be turned into a vampire, would you prefer to be bitten by Bill Compton, Edward Cullen, Lestat, or Bunnicula?

7. Name two foods that you eat together that everyone else thinks is gross.

8. What do you really think about the color combination of pink and green?

9. Which character do you most identify with in Rent?

10. Would you rather be the queen or the power behind the throne?

11. What is the one topic that makes you nervous when you talk about on your blog and why?

*****

Oh my goodness - now you know more about me than you ever wanted to! And I have come up with such strange questions... sorry, guys. It's early and the sun is shining and I may have gotten carried away. You understand, don't you?

I'm going to tag some of my most recent new followers - I'd love to get to know you better, so please do play along! (Do let us know if you join in even if I haven't tagged you by commenting on this post.) I can't wait to read what you all come up with!

Sam at Every Shade of Green

Kay at From NJ to the UK

Katie at A Preppy Girl's Guide

Emm at Emm in London

{av} at long distance loving

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Okay, dear readers, it's time to start the day. Well done - if you've made it this far - and have an absolutely lovely weekend wherever you are!

Frock Fridays

2012-02-10T06:45:00.000Z

I was delighted that {av} went the traditional route with today's Friday's Fancies and themed the game for Valentine's Day! Jon and I put our own spin on the holiday, but - as you know - I love any excuse to wear pink.

Our first Valentine's day together was a bit excruciating; it was wonderful to be celebrating with such an amazing boy, of course, but it was so horribly formulaic. Not only does Jon agree with this, but he has decreed that we will never again make reservations on 14 February because of that experience. He had arranged dinner for us at a fancy restaurant, and I truly can't blame him because he was trying to provide the lovely experience that he thought I wanted, but by the end of the night we felt pretty grim because the whole thing seemed so painfully contrived. (This is no fault of the restaurant, I would hasten to add; it's just the nature of the beast.) So we're not really going to be doing Valentine's Day on the 14th anymore - but we will still be celebrating!

We will be going out to dinner on 17 February, either to Bar Boulud by ourselves or to Quo Vadis with a chef friend who just started working there and his girlfriend, and Jon has requested a classic sexy/sweet look. Actually, when I asked him what I should wear, he helpfully said, "I don't know. Look hot. But not too hot. Because then I'll have competition. I guess, I don't know, maybe something pretty?" I have decided to translate this into sexy/sweet, and created the below outfit with London in mind: every single piece here is from the UK. I might freeze to death, but I will look good and feel patriotic (for my adopted country) while doing it!

[ earrings / necklace / bracelets / nailpolish / mascara / lipgloss / dress / jacket / clutch / shoes ]

By the way, don't you love the back of this frock? The dress is so demure from the front, but once you take off that leather jacket... yowza!

Toys for Boys

2012-02-09T10:39:00.000Z

In all humility, I got Jon the best Valentine's Day present ever. We said we weren't really going to spend anything on the holiday because we're going to Ireland at the end of the month - yes, I told you before that we were heading to Scotland in mid-February; at least I got the month correct and almost though not quite the country - but I may have spotted something perfect a few weeks ago and nabbed it. (I can't tell you what it is because he's sitting right here, and that would ruin the surprise. And I am good at keeping surprises, unlike some. Ha!)

If I hadn't already found the ideal gift, though, and I had all the money in the world, I'd think about getting Jon something like...

[ messenger bag / shoes / sweater / watch / aftershave ]

Unfortunately, he has just asked for world peace instead. Or a dinosaur. He'd prefer a dinosaur.

Boys. That's all I have to say about that.

A Few Of My (Currently) Favorite Things

2012-02-08T11:33:00.000Z

Tomorrow's post is about what I would get Jon if I hadn't already found the best present ever - more about that on Thursday, never fear - but it got me thinking about what we give those we love, both the tangible things and the intangible. And then the corollary of that is, of course, this question: what could I give myself?

Let's dream aspirationally, shall we? After all, dreaming is free, as the inimitable Blondie once sang.

[ umbrella / necklace / shoes / pillow / teacup and saucer / rug / skillet / bag ]

As BHB says, Valentine's Day is about celebrating love regardless of its definition or function, and so you should "raise a glass to yourself this year and fill your day with love in a way unique and meaningful to you!" Well put, lady - find some champagne and do as she commands, dear readers!

Valentine's Cards

2012-02-07T11:06:00.000Z

Remember how, in elementary school, you had to send a Valentine's Day card to every member of your class? We used to make mailboxes out of shoeboxes, decorate them, and set them on our desks in preparation for the onslaught of cartoon-themed perforated cards we'd get. One child with a particularly organized mother would always have Dove chocolates taped to the card and the child would jam it into his/her classmates' mailboxes, thereby ruining all the hard work of decorating (and, generally, making the rest of the class and their mothers look bad in the process).

I sort of miss those days.

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To that end, and because the message I write inside Jon's Valentine's Day card is inevitably sappier than a Nicholas Sparks novel, I try to keep the outside of the cards I buy relatively silly. For example:

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Love can be ridiculous sometimes, and I really do think it's best to embrace that - and celebrate it. Don't you?

Monday Musings

2012-02-06T08:39:00.000Z

When it snows in London, the city panics. I mean, even the sanest native and the hardiest alien turn to uncontrollable confusion and helplessness the moment snow is forecast. This tweet is pretty accurate:

Unfortunately, I think the chaos is circular; I think that London can't handle much snow logistically, and so Londoners go into meltdown to prepare, and then the city overloads because the people are breaking from their usual bonds of civility and are fighting over the last loaf of bread in the supermarket. What a mess!

Originally, we were expecting up to 10cm to arrive on Saturday evening, but ended up with maybe half of that by the time the flakes stopped falling. The snowfall was beautiful - I was in Putney for a party and came back home early to avoid any nonsense with trains and buses; this photo was taken around 10pm from the Putney rail station:

My walk to Tesco this morning was equally gorgeous. Since it's marginally warmer today than it was last night (1*c as opposed to -4*c), the snow has started to melt a bit, but I did manage to snap the below photo with my crappy camera on the way. I wasn't able to take any pictures of my garden because the children have torn it up making snowmen and snowballs and snow angels - they've been having a blast, and I've been having almost as much fun watching! In the end, though, that's what snow's about: enjoying the magic of nature. And if public transport is closed and the roads are a mess then, well, it's just another good excuse to stay home and play.

I hope you enjoyed the snow, dear UK readers, and that you had lovely weekends wherever you are!

The Cost of Living in London / Financial Diary (II)

2012-02-05T10:39:00.000Z

Well, it's that time again, dear readers. I last completed a financial diary over a year ago, and my expenses have changed quite a bit since then. My largest expenditure - rent - is more than it had been due to changed circumstances and this has caused me to totally rethink how I spend my remaining income. I burned through all of my savings (and then some) when I moved into my new place and I'm now really trying making it a priority to build up a bit of a nest egg again, so that's been an adjustment, too.

I'm going to make this post an amalgamation of the two I published last January, and so we'll have an overview plus a week's financial diary here. (Yes, this is a long one! Gird your loins.) Transparency is always good, I think, where these nuts-and-bolts issues are concerned. I do hope these posts help all those who are researching a possible/impending move to London and perhaps even those who live here and are examining their own living expenses!

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RENT & BILLS: £650/month
Again, I think that I've hit the jackpot with my current rental situation. My monthly bank transfer to my landlords covers not only my monthly rent, but also all bills including utilities, internet, TV license, and council tax. This figure was £100 higher when I first moved in, but after a few months we worked out a deal by which I give three evenings of babysitting a month in exchange for a comparable reduction on my rent. (If you assume that it costs £9/hour to hire a childminder and that an "evening" of babysitting averages out at 4 hours per session, you'll conclude that this is an equitable deal for all.)

TRANSPORTATION: £112/month
Because I live at the end of zone 2, I have a monthly travelcard for zones 1-2. Jon lives in zone 4, so to get to his house I either take the bus from work, take the tube to the end of zone 2 and the bus the rest of the way, or add some pay-as-you-go money to my Oyster to take the tube directly to his house. (Bus rides, no matter where you start and/or end and regardless of how long your trip is, always count as falling within zones 1-2.)

MOBILE PHONE: £43.93 in January
As mentioned before, my 02/Blackberry contract is for £30/month, but, as always, I've gone over because of the amount of time I spend on international calls. (Last month was significantly more because of the situation with my grandmother.) I'm not sure I can switch to anything cheaper without sacrificing the number of minutes and texts I get domestically - it's worth looking into, certainly, and if anyone has any suggestions...

I cannot stress enough that, the above sorts of outgoings aside, your expenditures will absolutely depend on the quality of life that you choose to lead. It's entirely possible to limit yourself to the bare minimum for food and entertainment, but I promise that you won't have much fun on a budget like that. Plus, you have to account for occasional but necessary purchases; for instance, you don't have to buy new shampoo often but when the need strikes you must act!

Last week, just to see what could be done and what sacrifices I could make, I tried to spend as little as possible. I kept my food costs down by ransacking my freezer and pantry, bringing lunch to work almost every day, and rarely eating out. I also skipped the little bagatelles of life like Grazia and Starbucks, for the most part. Watching my budget made me choose my activities more carefully; I only went out when I really wanted to see the people organizing the gathering, and guarding my wallet made it even easier to stick to my teetotal phase (except on Thursday). I was also lucky in that I had already penciled plans into the diary that didn't involve spending too much, like two nights of theatre and a houseparty. Below, I put my week's outgoings into a bit of context by noting each day and/or night's activities so that you can gain a bit more insight.

SUNDAY
[brunch at home with Jon and a friend - Jon bought the ingredients for that - and errands/to-do]
£24.78 - weekly grocery shop at Sainsbury's

MONDAY
[complimentary theatre tickets in the evening]
£3.58 - dinner from Subway

TUESDAY
[work event in the evening]

WEDNESDAY
[date night chez moi]

THURSDAY
[drinks with friends in the evening]
£6.48 - international shipping to post a small package through Royal Mail
£4.15 - lunch from M&S Simply Food
£30 - cocktails and nibbles at the Mews of Mayfair

FRIDAY
[quiet night at home]
£1.89 - salad from the café at work

SATURDAY
[about town in the morning, babysitting in the afternoon, houseparty in the evening]
£4.70 - coffee and a cupcake from Bea's of Bloomsbury

TOTAL : £75.58

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Again, I do want to say that, despite my deep misgivings about the Occupy Wall Street global protests, these are unquestionably difficult financial times for millions of people around the world, and so I was initially uncomfortable with publishing all of this given the economic hardship that others are facing. But then I realized that we all navigate our own issues and there's no shame in having first world problems. As a commenter on one of my favorite food blogs wrote, "I'm getting so tired of the 'first world problems' line being thrown on everything to make it seem silly. We live in the first world. We have small problems that we can trade advice on how to solve. That doesn't mean we have no substance or character." Amen.

Super Bowl Spread

2012-02-04T09:42:00.000Z

Unfortunately, I'm going to miss the Super Bowl tomorrow - I'm singing in the afternoon and then having dinner with the choir afterwards. I did look into my options for participating here in London anyway since the game starts so late; amongst other possibilities, there's a BBQ restaurant near my house in Clapham that's hosting Super Bowl festivities but it's sold out. Since I'm a "go big or go home" kind of girl when it comes to sports, I'd rather just give the whole thing a miss. By the way, my idea of "go big or go home" for American football involves eating lots of wings, drinking lots of beer, and telling myself that the celery sticks make the blue cheese dip less calorific.

Oh, hello - that sentence was an excellent introduction to this image of delicious Super Bowl snack food! To be honest, you can try to be as healthy as you want on this hallowed day in the American calendar, but I don't see much point. I'd much rather have just one piece of one of the below platters than all the salad in the world - wouldn't you?

[ lasagna cups / chorizo cigars / spanikopita bites / artichoke-olive crostini ]

I've made the chorizo cigars and they are absolutely delicious - though it's fiddly to make them as small as seen in the photo - and have created a variation on the spanikopita bites that tasted heavenly. The lasagna cups look genius, especially for a party! And, while everyone always has dips on hand for the Super Bowl, the artichoke-olive tapenade is classy and unexpected. Yum!

What will you be doing and cooking for tomorrow's big game?

Frock Fridays

2012-02-03T09:09:00.000Z

Okay, I'm only allowing myself to say this because it's February and, as we all know, February is the month of love:

I am dying for an occasion to wear one of these gorgeous white Elie Saab frocks.

spring/summer 2012 collection

(top row, ready-to-wear; bottom row, couture)

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By the way, 2012 is a leap year. Did you know that February 29 is the engagement equivalent to a Sadie Hawkins dance according to Irish lore? Just FYI.

Nail Biting & Hair Twirling

2012-02-02T12:15:00.000Z

I've been spending a lot of time, recently, crafting conversations in my head. You know, the kind where you imagine what you would say, what s/he would say in response, and how you would answer. Generally, I do remember to keep these conversations to myself, though I've occasionally been so engrossed in finding the perfect phrase that I've found myself muttering out loud. Yes, I'm that crazy woman walking down the street.

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I'd love to tell you what they're about - because they're all about the same thing - but unfortunately I have to have the actual conversations with the appropriate people before I spill the beans to you, dear readers.

Big news coming up next week... stay tuned!

Hampton Court Palace

2012-02-01T11:35:00.000Z

On Saturday, Jon and I spent the day at Hampton Court Palace, one of the royal residences for 200 years from the 16th century. It retains features both inside and out from most eras it has seen; our favorite apartments were those of Henry VIII and William of Orange. Some of areas were closed for restoration - including the Great Hall, unfortunately - but we loved exploring the palace and the grounds. We even got lost in the maze! Though it was a mostly cloudy day, I managed to go a bit Instagram-mad...

I'm back at work now, but I'm so glad that I had last week to rest, relax, and clear my head - and to take in so much of London!

Note: there are many attractions in and around London (including Hampton Court Palace) that offer two-for-one deals on entrance tickets if you use National Rail to get there. Find the full list here - it's a great deal, so take advantage if you can!

Weekend in Numbers

2012-01-31T12:49:00.000Z

Okay, actually, this is more like a Week in Numbers post... or possibly a Month in Numbers post... or possibly... well, you'll see!

10: number of times I promised myself that one day I will work (in costume, hopefully) at Colonial Williamsburg while watching The Duchess on TV on Saturday night.

9: number of weeks until the end of the financial year at work. As I work in fundraising, I feel absolutely no pressure on this front. None whatsoever. (Insert nervous giggle here.)

8: number of times I told Jon that we should have our free photoshoot in the gardens at Hampton Court Palace if we win Reverie's competition.

7: number of times Jon ignored me when I told him that we should have our free photoshoot in the gardens at Hampton Court Palace if we win Reverie's competition.

6: number of weeks since I last worked an eight hour day for five consecutive days.

5: number of weeks I have been successfully doing the NHS Couch to 5k program

4: number of fabulous American expats I met up with last week. It was lovely to meet Karen over lunch in Westminster on Thursday and I had dinner with AT, Ashley, and MVC on Friday in Chelsea - so much fun! (Yes, I cropped myself from this photo. Too much sushi!)

3: number of Cream Cheese Braids I scarfed at/after breakfast on Sunday. On the plus side, I didn't add the sugar glaze. On the minus side, they were huge; this is 2/3 of one.

2: number of weeks until Jon and I go to Bar Boulud for Valentine's day! We're going on Feburary 17th, not the 14th - that's just how we roll.

1: number of days until February. How did that happen? And why have I seen a daffodil blooming already? Basically, what is this world coming to?

I hope you all had a lovely weekend, dear readers, wherever you are!

Monday Musings

2012-01-30T10:18:00.000Z

Okay, we're going back to a Monday Laugh for today - sorry to be a flake, but this is too funny not to share; plus, it seems sort of relevant because I just wrote a little piece for the Texpat on The Experience Collection about the language barriers we encounter as expats. The sketch is long, but you should watch the whole clip; especially pay attention to 4:04-9:12 for the lengths one will go to slip comfortable sentences into foreign conversations. (I still sometimes answer the phone by saying "Âllo, âllo, ici Jacques!")

You don't need to speak French to understand this, though it might help...

Featuring Something Charming

2012-01-29T09:30:00.000Z

For the past 18 months, I've been strict with myself regarding the internet holes I fall down Alice-style and have really made an effort to only focus on the niche of expat blogs. The web is endless - though when you're sleepless at 3am I know it can seem like there's nothing new to find - and I think I had to set myself blog boundaries to avoid going insane at the start.

Boy, am I glad that I eventually followed the rabbit into the larger blogosphere!

In early December, soon after I started enjoying lifestyle blogs written by impressive and insightful women all across the world, I discovered Something Charming. I was blown away by blogger Joelle's aesthetic and style; not only does she have the most welcoming way of writing but she has also created a beautiful site where she shares the realities as well as the pretty pieces of life. Especially striking, I found, was how Joelle is so honest about the ups and downs of blogging. She enunciates so much of the joy and doubt I feel because of Betsy Transatlantically and, I expect, you feel because of your blogs. Dear readers, I wrote to her, and (among other things) I said:

I relate to a lot of what you write, and your meta posts on blogging really speak to me. I love sharing my thoughts and experiences with my readers and I love each of my 64 followers and I don't want to change the essence of what my blog is because, truly, it is what I am. But I was wondering if you had any insights on how to maximize blogging - to reach as many people as possible and take each post to the next level and, basically, be the best blogger possible.
AND THEN I thought: hey, if I'm wondering all of this, my readers-who-blog probably also are wondering the same! I'd be really grateful if you had any advice... and also I'd be really extra super grateful if you'd be comfortable stopping over to do a guest post about it on Betsy Transatlantically.

Ever gracious, Joelle said yes! I emailed her a few questions about blogging that have been swirling around my mind, and her replies are here below.

What inspires you to blog?

Blogging is my creative outlet, and it allows me to escape the humdrum of my every day life {for now}. I'm starting my own business, so it also gives me a platform to express myself and my work, and to promote my event planning. I'm inspired to work harder, knowing that this isn't just for fun anymore. I blog for myself, of course, but I want to be inspiring to my readers, and to introduce them to pretty things. I also see so many amazing blogs out there, and while I don't want to compare myself to them, knowing what the possibilities of blogging are encourages me to be myself on my blog and to explore what I want with my life and my blog.

How do you conquer your blogging fears and frustrations?

I actually have a really difficult time to with this, and unfortunately I find myself looking for validation through my readers. I have a problem asking for feedback, when I really should just focus on what I want to write and post, because it is my blog after all. I get scared that people won't want to read what I have to say, which isn't true because people do keep coming back. And I get frustrated when my blog isn't as "big" as I want it to be. These are all very valid and very common, and I continuously find myself struggling with the balance between blogging for other people and blogging for myself. I've improved a lot with this since I started blogging over a year ago, but I still have quite a ways to go.

Does a blog need a niche in order to be successful?

This is something else that I've struggled with, because I don't know that I necessarily have a "niche." I post about fashion and weddings and my life and design and inspiration, and a thousand other things. But I've asked my readers about this, and they actually say that having a niche isn't always a good thing. I guess people like variety, but I can't say that I wouldn't be more popular if I did have a niche. I just don't want to box myself in just yet.

How can a blogger at any stage maximize her blogging potential and take each post to the next level?
This might sound a little strange, but I think it's really important for all bloggers to have a blog mission statement. Just write down why you blog, and your personal standards for your posts. For me, I blog to develop my business, my style, and my writing. I also blog to reach my personal and professional goals and to inspire others. If the topic of a post doesn't reach these standards, I don't post it.
I also think that it's important to really evaluate who you are as a blogger and a person, and to not compromise that. Bloggers like sincerity and integrity, and it's pretty obvious if a blogger isn't either of these things. Don't post something just because everyone else is doing it, but post because it adheres to the mission of your blog and represents you as a person.

What advice would you give to a new or refocusing blogger who wants to connect more with her readers and find a blogging community?
The number one thing that I think a lot of new bloggers don't realize, is that blogging itself isn't a one way thing. Having a conversation with your readers is really easy by responding to comments, or being active on Twitter or Facebook. I've found that Twitter is the most popular way for bloggers to connect with other people, and it really works.
Also, reach out to other bloggers by visiting their blogs and commenting, following, etc. But don't just do it to get more followers. Learn from them, see what they are doing right and wrong, and go from there. There are so many bloggers out there, and each and every one of them has something to teach the rest of us. And chances are, if you reach out to someone, they will be happy to follow back or connect with you in some other way.

Have you been surprised by anything you've discovered during your blogging journey?
There is a lot that I've learned in this last year and a half. Mainly, I never knew what a community blogging is. There are so many amazing people out there, who truly want to be your friend and want to see you succeed. I've met a lot of great bloggers, who I can now say are my real life friends. These are people that I never would have found otherwise, and I am so happy I did.

Thanks so much, Joelle! You've given me - and many of us, I'm sure - a lot to think about. Hopefully we'll see you back here again in the future! And best of luck with your new business and all the other adventures.

Stew's On

2012-01-28T09:00:00.000Z

I'm not a soup person. I mean, I'll usually get soup as a starter if I'm going out for a multi-course meal at a fancy restaurant, but I don't often make it from scratch at home for myself because I epically fail at eating liquid leftovers and it's almost impossible to make just a serving or two of soup without simply opening a can.

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However, I get very gastronomically traditional during the winter - I feel an undeniable yearning to cradle a steaming bowl of something yummy in my hands as soon as the leaves start falling. Because I like to make a bit of a creative effort at dinnertime, especially if Jon's coming over, I generally refuse to heat up something pre-made; I've therefore been searching for some yummy recipes that I might not mind eating for lunch the next day. Usually, I've found, I gravitate to stew. This isn't a terribly new discovery - see 7 September 2010 and 19 September 2010 and 25 November 2010, for example - but I'm really trying to branch out from the normal basic meat-based routine.

Luckily, a few weeks ago I found this Braised Coconut Spinach and Chickpea dish on TheKitchn. It's absolutely amazing and possibly even better reheated the next day! When I had it on the Monday, I served it as it over couscous, but on Tuesday I added some diced chicken and ate it with jasmine rice. The stew is delicious both ways, and is actually hearty enough that you could enjoy it on its own and skip the grains entirely if you wanted.

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Now, you have to understand that my approach to Indian food is similar to that of soup: I rarely make it myself at home. I love eating it at restaurants, but I generally don't think it's worth the bother. (I love the way Marie described cooking Indian for the first time - hilarious.) Indian food requires so many ingredients that you'd never use for anything else and the odours dominate your kitchen for weeks and it's just a pain in the you-know-what to make, right? Wrong, apparently.

The recipe was so simple; the only thing I didn't have already was coconut milk, which I now no longer find scary. Also, it was surprisingly quick! You have to man the stove for most of the time, but the whole thing took 30 minutes, tops. And even though it smelled delicious, my extractor fan worked its magic when I hollered at it.

Does anyone have any other suggestions for new stews? I'm totally open to recommendations! And tell me - what are you cooking this weekend?

Frock Fridays - Friday's Fancies

2012-01-27T09:46:00.000Z

I recently found about Long Distance Loving's Friday's Fancies series from the lovely Joelle, and I thought it would be fun to join up this week! I usually like doing my own thing for Frock Fridays, but it's nice to have some structure sometimes, isn't it? Besides, I hope that you'll discover some great new blogs through the link-up; make sure to check it out.

The theme for this week is winter wonderland... here goes! (And yes, I realize that there is no frock to be found on this post. It's fine. Go with it.)

My idea of a winter wonderland on this green and pleasant island is a weekend in Suffolk: walks on the heath with the family, pints at the pub with friends, and evenings by the fire with the cats. It hasn't snowed yet in London or by the coast, but it is cold and has rained and frosted quite a bit - such is winter in the south-east of England. Wellies, therefore, are necessary, and these Hunter Vintage Union Jack boots are adorable. You've got to keep your toes warm, so chunky socks are also a must, and these Isabel Marant jeans are the best skinny-but-not-skintight pair for tucking into your boots. I love the asymmetric zipper of this Paul & Joe Sister knit cardigan, which would be perfect over a basic white tank. The high fashion (well, in my world!) piece of this ensemble is the J Crew cape - classic!

(And yes, I am now even more obsessed with Polyvore having learned the extent of what it can do!)

Shh! A Jewellery Secret

2012-01-26T09:22:00.000Z

(By the way, is that how we spell "jewellery" in America? I'm on a British computer with British spell-check and it looks funny to me. But that could be because I'm writing this at 3am; it turns out that you'll find it hard to fall back asleep if you go to bed at an obscenely early hour and then get woken up in the middle of the night! Who knew? Anyway.)

There's a secret in the world of jewellery. I've known it for years, but that's because I've had a woman on the inside. (Hi, Mom!) The secret is this: there are places that you've never think to look for jewellery - but they've got some great finds at fantastic prices. What are these places, you ask? I'll tell you:

MUSEUMS

Seriously. Art galleries have the most amazing pieces. The jewellery in museum shops is beautifully designed, usually because it's based on actual works in the museum's collection or on renderings of jewellery that appear in other art media like paintings. For this reason, they're also often historically informed, which is excellent considering the current vogue for vintage. And, for the most part, they're not horribly expensive because - shh! - shopping for jewellery is still somewhat of a secret.

See for yourself:

Okay, now you know the secret. Use it wisely, and tell only people you can trust!

Burns Night

2012-01-25T12:16:00.002Z

Burns Night celebrates the national poet of Scotland, Robert Burns, as well as Scottish traditions that are usually best left in Scotland.

Don't believe me? Check out the BBC's guide to Burns Night, which includes this menu:

Starter: Traditional cock-a-leekie soup
Main course: Haggis, neeps & tatties
Sweet: Clootie Dumpling or Typsy Laird

It sounds like a meal out of Lewis Carroll or The Lord of the Rings, doesn't it? I'm going to let you Google these foods on your own; I don't want to know more than I already do.

But really, Burns Night is supposed to be a lot of fun. I don't know how seriously it's taken in Scotland, but here in England everyone - of Scottish heritage of not - joins in for a laugh. At a traditional Burns Night gathering, you'll find piping, singing, dancing, and reciting, as well as eating the above delicacies. (Jon's parents have been participating in weekly dancing classes with their friends since late autumn to prepare for their annual Burns Night ball.) Of course, there's also a lot of whiskey-drinking!

I'll be meeting some friends at the pub tonight for a wee dram, as they say, and will be wearing my supercute tartan dress from Anthro (circa winter 2009, I think):

Aren't I in the spirit of things? If you're looking for some ideas for your Burns Night, have a peek at TimeOut, which lists some good options. Let me know if you get caught up in the swing of the evening!

DA VINCI at the National Gallery

2012-01-24T09:48:00.000Z

As I have the week off from work but am staying in London for the duration, I've got lots of errands and lunches and touristy activities planned:

Tuesday - housebound; have agreed to babysit mid-day and so will be doing a massive clean of the flat around that
Wednesday - culture with Alex; a trip to the V&A and/or a matinée (perhaps of Noises Off at the Old Vic)
Thursday - lunch with Karen, evensong at Westminster, dinner with Rose, and errands in between
Friday - outing to Hampton Court Palace and dinner with the girls

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On Monday, I spent the day at the National Gallery. Not in the National Gallery, mind you, but around it. See, I was dying to visit their Leonardo da Vinci show, but all advance tickets were sold out and I was advised to arrive very early if I wanted to snag a same-day timed-entry ticket. I live-tweeted my adventure, but the short version is this:

6:00am - alarm went off
6:30am - left the house
7:10am - arrived at the National Gallery and got in line
12:20pm - bought my ticket
3:30pm - entered the exhibition
4:45pm - left the exhibition

That's five hours, dear readers. Five [expletive] hours of standing in line, 4h40m of which was outside in the [expletive] cold. (For the record, the girls at the front of the line had arrived at 1am though the people directly behind them showed up at 5am; the people at the back of the queue didn't get there until 9:30am and I think they were advised that they might still be able to secure tickets.) But I was victorious and, after a lunch break in Covent Garden with a lovely American girl who was studying in London for the month and found me through this blog, I headed into the exhibit.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) trained in Florence, but his most prolific period was during his tenure in Milan, 1482-1499. This show followed his artistic and philosophical development while court painter to Ludovico Sforza, the ruler of the city, during which time his "ideas on the status and purpose of art... were transformed." According to the leaflet, "Leonardo emerged as a painter-philosopher, convinced his art could not just mirror nature but reveal a higher reality of divine harmony and beauty."

The National Gallery show gathers together for the first time every painting started by da Vinci during this period - except for The Last Supper, which remains in place - plus as many of his sketches and drawings as well as works by his students and followers. My favorite piece was a sketch called Bust of a Woman. I can't find the exact image online, but it's similar to this work, held in the Royal Collection:

It's a massive exhibition, beautifully crafted and thoughtfully put together, and well worth all of the hype artistically. However, I've got to be honest: I don't think the show was worth five hours of standing in line in the cold plus a £16 admission fee. As breathtaking as the works are, my experience was nearly ruined by the crowds. The exhibit was packed, which was to be expected, but I was surprised at how selfish the other viewers were. Most were listening to the audio guide, which rendered them completely unaware of their surroundings and of their fellow ticket-holders, but even those without headphones seemed to feel no shame at planting themselves front and center and not moving to accommodate anyone else. It was an unpleasant scrum, and I am truly glad that I had the opportunity to see so many incredible works of art by such a master in one place but I wouldn't recommend that you put yourself through the same.

Monday Musings

2012-01-23T11:05:00.000Z

In preparation for my series of posts on expatriation, I spent some time researching immigration law globally. There are some interesting policies out there, but even more fascinating is what the consequences - both intended and unexpected - of those policies have been or are turning out to be.

Alabama has been in the news recently because of its new law clamping down on undocumented immigrants. (Find the full text here; the previous link takes you to Wikipedia, which I personally find slightly easier to understand.) Although HB 56 was upheld in court this past autumn, it has been overwhelmingly rejected by the public even in Alabama. According to the Center for American Progress, Alabama has 120,000 undocumented immigrants (equalling 2.5% of the state's population) who paid $130 million in taxes in 2010; in addition, Alabama's economy would shrink by approximately $40 million if 10,000 undocumented immigrants stopped working and the state could spend close to $2 million (if not more) to defend the law.

Because of the miracle that is the internet, a fantastic photo popped up on my friend Bethie's Facebook page just as I was discovering all of this Alabama nonsense. How funny is this?

But then also not funny, when you stop to think about it.

Breakfast of Champions

2012-01-22T19:29:00.000Z

You've read about how I'm trying to be healthy, but let's all agree that everyone has responsible days days and, well, not-so-responsible days. Right? Yes. Therefore, I present my two favorite breakfasts; one for the good mornings and one for the bad. (In this case, though, "bad" is oh-so-good.)

We can start with the healthy option just to feel better about ourselves: I found this recipe for Baked Oatmeal with Blueberries and Bananas though The Kitchn, so it doesn't matter that it's from a website called SkinnyTaste. I'll post the correct version of the recipe here, though I made it with oat bran instead of actual oats and it came out much more cake-y than intended but I loved it anyway.

Healthy, but also really yummy - the blueberries provide a bit of a kick while the honey keeps things sweet.

The other breakfast option - which is the fun one, in my book - was inspired by my brunch the other day at The Botanist in Chelsea. It's basically a crèpe complet: a pancake topped with egg, bacon, and cheese. Luckily, pancakes in England are much more like French crèpes than American pancakes, so they're easy to make from a mix if you're in the UK. (Apologies for the mediocre photography - I need to take a class on food styling or something.)

CRÈPE COMPLET

1. cook bacon until most of the way to desired crispiness

2. make the pancake batter (sample recipe here) and butter a small enough frying pan that you make one pancake per batch

3. after flipping the first pancake, crack an egg in the center of the pancake

4. let cook for 2 minutes and then lay two strips of bacon down the center of the egg/pancake and sprinkle with grated emmental

5. when the egg looks almost done, fold over the sides of the pancake to enclose the egg and bacon, and transfer to another greased frying pan on low heat to be kept warm

6. repeat until you have as many pancakes as you can possibly eat and enjoy!

Do you have any breakfast favorites that you could share? After all, it's the most important meal of the day, you know!

I Want Candy

2012-01-21T18:32:00.000Z

When I was in college, my sister made me a workout mix to inspire me to greater aerobic heights. The first song on the CD was Aaron Carter's "I Want Candy." When I hear it - no matter where I am or what I'm doing - my heartrate shoots up and my legs get antsy. It's crazy. Also crazy: how this song is totally inappropriate for a tweenager. I mean, look:

Ew. Anyway. Moving on.

I wanted to share some very exciting news with you, dear readers: I've started doing Couch to 5k through the NHS. Yes, I told you with great fanfare that I was joining a rugby team and then that didn't go anywhere, but this is for real. I'm on week four of nine, and I feel great when I'm not dying. This is a huge deal for me - I have never been good at exercise and I have certainly never been a runner, so sticking with the program even this far is a big step.

See, in 2002, I lost 50 pounds; unfortunately, I got down to an unhealthy weight and I didn't manage to do it in an entirely responsible way. I was able to right myself and maintain a healthy weight (with some slight oscillations) for the next six years, but I started packing on the pounds when I moved to London in September 2008. I have since regained everything I had lost and then some. Obviously, I'm not happy about this.

My goal is to get back down to a healthy weight, the weight that my body likes and needs to be in order to function to its fullest potential. The tricky thing is that I've been terrified that dieting will bring me back to the irresponsible mindset that I had in high school, and so I've been afraid to start eating responsibly and exercising appropriately in case I tip over into an unhealthy mental and physical place.

However, I somehow managed to extract myself from this catch-22 by focusing on overall health rather than weight loss. (Confession: a stern talking-to from my cardiologist grandfather and a lovingly concerned letter from my Jewish mother helped get the ball rolling.) Since the new year, I've concentrated on eating more healthily and in smaller portions; I haven't denied myself anything except alcohol, though I have imbibed a bit for special occasions. Also, I started Couch 2 5k on 26 December and have registered for a 5k race in mid-March as motivation to finish the program on time. And, in total, I have lost 4.5 pounds since 2 January.

WOOHOO!

Okay. Sorry. Just had to get that out of my system.

I promise that this won't turn into a healthy living blog - I hate the word "thinspiration" and I'm automatically turned off by any recipe or food that is called "skinny whatever" and I'm terrible at deprivation of any kind - but I will be sharing my journey with you periodically. I know that some of you are going through something similar, so I hope you don't mind coming along for the ride with me. Ideally, we will be able to support each other on this path.

Onwards and upwards!

Frock Fridays

2012-01-20T13:09:00.000Z

Boy, there was a lot of beige at the Golden Globes last weekend! While perusing the pap snaps, my eye was drawn to some interesting pops of color on the red carpet - thank you, Paula Patton, for bringing the fun - but, mostly, I saw beige with a sprinkling of black and other somber hues.

There's nothing wrong with beige per say but, like with any other color, there's a bad way and a good way to wear it...

The bad way: Amanda Peet looks like she's wearing a vintage tablecloth. Or possibly she found a dust ruffle that, when she took it off her bed, managed to multiply like some sort of prehistoric single-celled organism that eventually will become a turtle. I don't know what she's doing here, but I don't like it.

The good way: Piper Perabo's Theyskens Theory frock complements her skin tone well. It adheres to a classic princess shape with its full skirt and round neckline, but flirts with a bit of sexy by including a sheer panel down the center of the bodice. She looks like she's comfortable and having a good time, which is always a bonus during awards season!

What were your fashion hits and misses of the Golden Globes?

Moving to the UK: Applying to Jobs in the UK

2012-01-19T18:40:00.000Z

Originally, this last post in the Moving to the UK for Work series was supposed to be about workplace culture, but we're actually going to do something a bit different: today I want to share a couple of pointers that will, hopefully, help you successfully apply for jobs in the UK. Believe it or not, the process is a bit different than what I was used to in the US.

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So you found a job that you want to apply for - congratulations, that's a big step! The first and most important thing you need to do is to update your CV (also known as your resume). Be confident that your current or most recent position is included, and be sure to add any new skills you might have learned since you last applied for a job.

British CVs are styled slightly differently from American resumes; the most notable difference is that British CVs include a narrative that I think most American career advisors would suggest be saved for a cover letter. To be honest, though, I never received any negative feedback after submitting my American resume to an English organization, so I think you'll be okay regardless. If you want some guidance on how they do it in the UK, though, read this BBC article and this DWP write-up.

Another thing to be aware of is this: the timeframe for filling an open position is much faster in the UK than what I was used to in the States. I have found that jobs are advertised for the same length of time, but things move very quickly once the deadline has passed. For instance, I once applied for a job in London and where the due date for materials was a Friday; I was called to interview on the following Monday morning, the second round interview was on the same Wednesday, and I was offered the position on the Monday after that. I have never heard of this speed in America! Keep this in mind when applying for jobs in the UK in case scheduling might be an issue - and, if you're not in the area yourself, remember that you might have to travel if you get shortlisted. I found that most companies didn't mind our first interview being over the phone, but they did say that they would want to meet me in person before hiring me.

My last piece of advice when applying for jobs - in the UK or otherwise - is that you should dream big. If you're not enthused about your career path so far, think about moving in a different direction; if you have the time to volunteer, explore other options; if you want to move up the ladder, research the best ways to make yourself as marketable as possible. And, if you are currently unemployed, take advantage of the time you have to really be thorough and to think about what's best for you.

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Good luck!

And also - I'd love to hear what you've noticed about differences in workplace culture between the US and the UK. Email me with your observations at betsytransatlantically[at]gmail[dot]com and I'll put all of our thoughts together for a post next week. Thanks!

Moving to the UK: How to Look for Work in the UK

2012-01-18T11:48:00.000Z

Phew - what a corker of a post that was yesterday! I hope I answered all (or at least some) of your questions about the visa options available to you if you want to move to the UK to work. Also, many thanks to the amazing commenters who have joined the discussion! Please do keep adding your advice and experiences.

Boris Johnson doesn't know how he got his job. He won't be any help.

So you've decided that you want to move to London - or you're already here - and you want to find a job. Where do you start looking?

If you are currently (or were recently) a student in the UK, your first port of call should be your university's career services department. The UCL careers service, for instance, provides advice and guidance for your job search as well as a list of vacant positions that range from social media to finance.

If you're a bit more established in your field, I'd suggest you start off by contacting a recruiting firm. A recruiter can be especially helpful if you don't have a visa and hope to be sponsored by a new employer because s/he can point you in the direction of companies that are willing to go that extra mile. If you already have a work permit but do not have work experience in the UK, a recruiter will be able to tell you about trends in your industry in the UK (which may differ from what you're used to in your homeland) as well as match you with relevant vacancies. A quick Google search will lead you to the names of tons of recruiting firms; you can narrow down your options by speciality or interest.

If you are legally allowed to work and have been (or are) employed in the UK, your best best for finding a new job - especially if you want your employer to sponsor you - is through a personal or professional association. Talk to all of your colleagues in your field, attend collegial lunches and cocktails and coffees, and network your socks off. If you can get a recommendation from someone you know who is connected with the company you're applying to, the organization will probably be more willing to take the risk of sponsoring you.

Speaking of networking, you should definitely sign up to LinkedIn. If you don't know about this website, let me tell you: it's social networking for professionals. Make sure your profile is completely filled out (this can help if you don't know where to start) and describe yourself and your professional experience the way your grandmother would which means that you should, in short, brag. The key here is to make as many connections as you can as long as they are relevant to your career; don't connect to your college roommate who lent you her fake ID in freshman year but do connect to the former colleague who worked on that one project with you in 2008. Prospective employers check LinkedIn and will judge you on both the quality of your profile and your connections, so make sure that everything you communicate is appropriate for a potential boss to see.

Also, as in the States, newspapers, both online and in hard copy, always have an extensive list of open positions that you can focus with almost any parameter. Guardian Jobs, my favorite site, allows you to search by industry, function, level, location, salary, contract, and hours. To give you an idea of what you might find, let's imagine I'm on the hunt. I will look for a job in the arts, in the greater London area, with a minimum salary of £25k and on a full-time and permanent contract - and it gives me 66 possibilities, eight of which might be worth a closer glance.

Finally, have a look at websites that focus specifically on your interests. Again, go to Google, and enter "UK jobs _____." For instance, the top three links for "UK jobs arts" are artsjobs.org.uk, artshub.co.uk, and the Guardian, all of which I know from experience to be reliable sources for vacancies. (Martha, the best place for teaching jobs is TES - go to town!)

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The only other thing I would say about looking for work in the UK is this: slow and steady wins the race. Job-hunting can be a full-time job in and of itself, and when you add moving to a new country and tackling visa issues to the pressures of finding gainful employment, it pays to be thorough and methodical. Because there's so much involved in looking for a new job in a new country, you'll waste less time in the long run if you carefully research all of your options.

Now go forth - and good luck!

Moving to the UK: Overview of Visa Options

2012-01-17T10:15:00.000Z

Good morning, dear readers! Are you ready for part one of this series on moving to the UK? Also, have you read the backstories about why and how I first expatriated? You should definitely check them out - and learn from my mistakes!

Just to recap and for those of you who are new to this blog, here's my history with moving to/from London in the past four years:

September 2008: moved to London as a post-graduate on a Tier 4 student visa (which expired in December 2009)

August 2009: returned to Washington, DC to accept a job offer

June 2010: moved to London without a job on a Tier 1 Post-Study Work visa (which expires in June 2012)

When I applied to UCL, I wasn't intending on using my course as a way to eventually get a work visa; it wasn't until early 2009 that I knew I wanted to stay in London long-term. However, if you want to move to the UK and, for whatever reason, a further degree would help you down the road, I believe that enrolling in an accredited program and receiving a Tier 4 visa is a primary gateway into the world of living and, possibly, eventually working in the UK. You can legally be employed in the UK while on a Tier 4 visa but are limited to 20 hours of work per week.

Frustrations aside, applying for my Tier 1 visa in spring 2010 was not difficult; see this post for more information. It used to be possible to extend the Tier 1 visa, which is non-sponsored, but unfortunately this option was taken off the table recently. Also, get cracking if this is something that you might want to pursue, because the Tier 1 Post-Study Work route will be closed to new applicants as of April 2012.

So what to do if you can't apply - or have already applied - for a Tier 4 or a Tier 1 visa? Your best bet is to try for a Tier 2 visa, which is also known as a sponsored work permit. If you decide to go for a Tier 2 visa, you'll be choosing between one of two options unless you're a sportsperson or a minister of religion, in which case you probably don't need my help. The easiest way to be granted a Tier 2 visa is through an intra-company transfer; what this means is that your current job wants to move you to their UK office. To be honest, I don't know too much about this route, but I think you're probably guaranteed a visa if your employer has enough muscle to have a global presence and you're important enough to be transferred.

The second and slightly trickier Tier 2 option is applying for general sponsorship; what this means is that you've been offered a job by an organization in the UK and they're willing to declare that no one in the EU can do the job better than you can. It is relatively simple to switch into a Tier 2 visa from a Tier 1 visa as long as you're remaining in the same role at the same company throughout the process because the sponsoring organization has to jump through fewer hoops to sponsor you if you were originally hired by them on a Tier 1 visa. However, it is difficult to be hired blind by an organization who is willing to sponsor you on a Tier 2 visa. From what I've heard from recruiters as well as from people who have been lucky enough to be successful in this endeavor, you have a better chance of going straight on to a Tier 2 visa if you have more skills and experience. In other words, the company can probably prove that no one in the EU can do your job better than you can if you're high on the professional food chain, but it's going to be tougher if you're entry or even mid-level.

These are the options for working in the UK that only concern you, in the instances of the Tier 4 or Tier 1 visas, or you and your employer, in the case of the Tier 2 visa. If you are in a position to involve a British national or someone who is legally living in the UK, read on...

A Fiancé(e) visa will allow you to remain in the UK for up to six months but you cannot legally work while on this visa.

An Unmarried Partner visa will allow you to live and work in the UK for 24 or 27 months (depending on what criteria you meet) and, afterwards, you can apply for indefinite leave to remain.

A Spousal visa will allow you to live and work in the UK for a probationary period of two years, after which you can apply for indefinite leave to remain, or to settle permanently immediately (depending on what criteria you meet).

In addition, if you want to live and work in the UK and you are genetically blessed, you can apply for a work visa based on ancestry if you are a Commonwealth citizen and at least one grandparent was born in the UK.

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Whew! I think that's it - I hope I answered any questions you might have. Please leave a comment if you know more than I've covered here. I would love to start a discussion about all of this because I know it's complicated and, from experience, it really helps to feel that other people are researching and/or going through the same process as you are.

However, I do want to add two things to what I've said already:

1. Do not overstay your visa.

I'm not even kidding. Do not remain in the UK illegally. I read a blog recently (though I can't for the life of me remember where) in which the blogger admitted that she lived in the UK with her English boyfriend for well over a year and, because she had overstayed her tourist visa, couldn't leave the country until she was ready to move back to the US. I cannot emphasize enough how stupid this is. The chances that you'll be caught and deported are very slim, but if you overstay your visa, leave the country, and then try to return, you might be refused leave the enter the country ever again. The border officials will have every legal right to bar you from coming into the UK. Ever. It is just not worth the risk.

2. Read and follow the directions.

Despite what a lot of people - including me, when I was going through the process - think, the border agency in the UK is not out to make your life more difficult. They are not going to deny you a visa just because they're having a bad day. If you are eligible for a visa and you do everything the guidance notes tell you to do when applying and they haven't filled their annual quota, you will probably be given a visa. It really is that simple. Make sure that you're actually eligible, read the instructions on how to apply, follow the directions, and you'll most likely be successful. I know a woman whose visa application was denied because she hadn't submitted all of the necessary supporting documents and she was beside herself when her appeal was refused. If your application is incomplete or incorrect the first time around and it is rejected, you have to reapply; an appeal won't do anything because you're essentially trying again using the same material that was deemed inappropriate the first place.

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If you have any questions at all about any part of this process, consult a lawyer or other official advisor. In the meantime, though, I do hope this has been useful! Tomorrow: ways to look for (and hopefully find) work in the UK.

Monday Musings - MLK

2012-01-16T09:30:00.000Z

[Note: The content of this series of posts have been evolving over the past month (ish), so I'm going to make it official by changing the title from Monday Laugh to Monday Musings - although a smile helps you ease into the work week, it is even more crucial, I think, to start the week by challenging yourself with new ideas and fresh perspectives. Don't worry, we'll still find humor here from time to time as musings need not be dour!]

Throughout his too-short life, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. fought tirelessly for justice, equality, and freedom for all those who were oppressed. He sought to overcome ignorance, to banish hatred, and to end poverty and war. He spoke to make all humankind brothers.

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I wonder what MLK would say if he were alive today - what he'd think of the first black president in American history nearing the end of a difficult first term in office, of the Republican candidates for the presidential nomination constantly seeking to out-Christian each other, of LGBT teenagers being driven to suicide by bullying and harassment, and of the financial inequality between the rich and the poor growing ever more shocking across the globe.

We've come a long way since 1968, certainly, but we have miles to go yet before we fulfill King's dream. We can achieve the vision he had for America and for the world - we can and I have faith that we will, but we only will have hope if we do it together.

How I Moved To London (The First Time)

2012-01-15T11:42:00.001Z

It's entirely possible that my family didn't already know the whole truth behind why I moved to London (the first time) but, since they do now, I feel I should say this: it was so worth it. Also, sorry.

Anyway, now that you've all enjoyed that story, it's time to tell you about how I moved to London (the first time). I hinted yesterday that it involves 10 hours of detention at Heathrow, so gird your loins, dear readers, for a bit of an adventure.

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On 15 September 2008, I boarded a plane at Dulles International Airport bound for London, armed with two huge suitcases (for which, if I remember correctly, I paid an extortionate overweight baggage fee) plus the biggest carry-on I could find. My mother and I both cried when saying goodbye in Washington, but I sauntered through security with a spring in my step and a smile on my face and only a vague awareness that I might need a visa to enter the UK.

See, I had applied for a Tier 4 visa over the summer but hadn't properly submitted all of the supporting documents and was duly denied my paperwork. This was a setback, admittedly, but I was undeterred. I had already booked both my flight to Heathrow and my return to Washington, and because my length of stay in the the UK for the first term of my MA program was less than three months I figured I could scoot through customs as a tourist.

This might have worked, had I actually told border control officials that I was a tourist. Instead, I told the truth: I was a student. Funnily enough, it seems that if you want to be a full-time post-graduate student in the UK you need a visa. I was hauled off - nicely but emphatically - to a detention room, where I was questioned by a lovely immigration officer who clearly hated the fact that I was sobbing throughout my interview but who nonetheless stood his ground. Once he had determined that I was a very silly girl and not, in fact, a terrorist, he deposited me in a room full of other very silly people and checked me in to a return flight to Dulles.

To note if this ever happens to you: when they send you back, they use your pre-booked return ticket, which means that you're not technically paying extra for the privilege of being turned around because you're using a ticket you had already purchased but you will, in fact, have to buy a new round-trip ticket if you want to eventually continue on your merry way.

Unfortunately, the first LHR-IAD flight with an open seat wasn't departing for another ten hours, so I spent an incredibly frustrating day in detention. But, believe it or not, I made a friend, Whitney, who was in the exact same situation as me - we've actually kept in touch a bit since then - and she made the day slightly less unbearable. Also, I realized that I was relatively lucky because, even though I was completely overwhelmed, I understood what was going on and why it was happening; there was a whole Brazilian family in detention with me (I don't know specifically why) who didn't speak any English and who were painfully in the dark about their situation.

As soon as I got back to Washington, I reapplied for my visa. The gods of karma must have been watching over me, because the whole process (the second time around) took just under two weeks, and I flew out of Dulles on 29 September and successfully entered the United Kingdom on 30 September, one day before my classes started.

Because of this debacle, my ever-patient parents wasted a few hundred dollars on plane fares and I lost two crucial weeks in London that I would have used to find housing, meet my classmates, and get acclimatized to the city. The overarching lesson of this story is simple:

By the way, I'd like the record to state that I was not deported; I was denied leave to enter the country. Those are two very different things, it turns out.

Up on Tuesday: what you should do to avoid this situation. Check back!

Why I Moved to London (The First Time)

2012-01-14T10:56:00.000Z

Okay, it's time to start publishing the epic series of posts about how to move to the UK to/for work. I figured that what I'd do is start off with my history of moving the the UK, both to study and to work, so you know that I do sort of have some experience with this, and then schedule the informative posts for next week as follows:

Tuesday: overview of visa options
Wednesday: ways to look for (and hopefully find) work in the UK
Thursday: applying to jobs in the UK.

I've gotten a bunch of questions from you all, but please do keep sending them through if you think of anything between now and the above days or while you're reading.

I first moved to London in September 2008 to pursue a Master's in Medieval Studies. Wait, no, we need to back up. You need to hear about how I came to be a graduate student - this story is too good not to tell.

The spring and summer of my junior year in college were spent in Paris; while there, I met an English boy named Harry who was taking a year off from university. We dated for four months and broke up only because I was heading back to NYC to finish college and he was returning to London to start medical school.

Betsy and Harry at a party in Paris in 2007

I really don't know why he's taking the wine away from me.

Yes, it's possible that I may slightly have a type.

Even though our relationship was brief, I was head over heels for Harry, and I'd like to believe that, as he said at the time, he was for me as well. I spent until the following spring with a broken heart, pining for him, while he started dating another girl a few months after we left Paris. (He turned out to be a master manipulator, though I do have to take responsibility too because it was obvious to everyone around me what was going on but I only saw what I wanted to see.)

After visiting Harry and his family in Yorkshire that Christmas - I have no idea what his girlfriend thought was going on, but I'm pretty sure he didn't tell her the truth - I decided that I simply had to move to England, probably mostly to be with him though I have since blocked this phase of my life from memory. One day in mid-January, the morning after a night of heavy drinking, I opened my .edu inbox and found an email from UCL that read:

Thank you for beginning the online application for a postgraduate degree at University College London.

Excuse me? What? It turns out that, in my pitiful and inebriated state, I had, indeed, started the online application process to be admitted to a Master's program in the UK.

This is crazy, I told myself, and closed the browser. But the email stewed in my brain for a week until, finally, curiosity got the better of me. I logged on to research the MA in Medieval Studies at UCL and, after a few hours investigating the professors, the course modules, and the dissertation requirements, I realized that it was an incredible opportunity for scholarship and adventure that I could not pass up.

I can't remember if I told my parents I had applied before or after I submitted the application, but they supported my decision and, in September 2008, I hopped a plane to London to begin my studies. For the record, I had been over Harry for months at this point and actually we didn't keep in touch much during the spring and summer of that year - none of which stopped him from trying again each time we hung out in London even well into my relationship with Jon. I haven't seen him for a least a year now, though we do send occasional "hey, we should meet up sometime" texts. (By the way, Jon is aware of this sordid story and has approved the publishing of this post. He also knows Harry, vaguely, because they have some mutual friends and wants me to point out that I can't hate Harry too much because it is through one of these mutual friends, who I had met originally via Harry, that I came to be introduced to Jon.)

So that's why I moved to London (the first time). I think the lessons of the story are:

Okay, I think that's enough storytelling for one day, don't you? Tomorrow we'll talk about my failed attempt to actually enter the UK to begin my studies in September 2008. Hint: it involves 10 hours of detention at Heathrow and another lesson or two...

Frock Fridays

2012-01-13T13:20:00.000Z

The Duchess of Cambridge turned 30 on Monday, and in honor of her birthday I was planning to share my own re-imagining of the black velvet gown and regal diamonds that she wore to an event just before Christmas. I had the dress and the jewels picked out and everything, but then I saw a photo of Kate at the London premiere of War Horse and I swooned.

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I mean, yowza. Why explain how you'd be a queen-in-waiting when the former Miss Middleton always does it so eloquently for you? William could never have resisted, really; she was born for this role.

Be Nice On The Internet Week

2012-01-12T23:56:00.001Z

Okay, I know that the title of this post sounds like a brilliant and original idea, and it is, but I have to admit that it's not my brilliant and original idea. Be Nice On The Internet Week is an initiative of Real Simple, the magazine I read when I want to pretend I'm a grown-up, and it's really a breath of fresh air.

They've got details of the program on their website and on Facebook and are facilitating discussion all over the interwebs about how we can each be nicer online, but the concept is easy:

BE NICE ON THE INTERNET

We all, at times, get sucked into the maelstrom of negativity that lurks around every corner online. (Whoa, hey there, mixed metaphors!) It can be deceptively simple to say something disparaging while hiding behind the relative anonymity of our screens. And we each have typed - and sent - messages that we would never have thought appropriate to voice out loud.

And at the same time, we've all been victim of cruelty online, so we all know how it feels; how opening an angry email can sting more than being told off in person, how seeing a defaced picture on a website can burn more than a drunken insult hurled across a bar, and how reading a malicious comment left on a blog post can be harder to dismiss than an offhand comment made in the heat of the moment.

There's a line in The Social Network, the movie about the founding of Facebook, that has stuck with me since I saw the film: Mark Zuckerburg's spurned ex-girlfriend says

The internet is not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink.

I think that it's worth being reminded of this from time to time, and that we can all be encouraged to be a little bit nicer on the internet.

An Injection of Color

2012-01-11T11:08:00.000Z

Remember how there was this one time that I talked about going against the trend and dreaming of decorating a home with neutral furnishings and colorful walls? Look what I've found...

Dear God, I love Pinterest.

This Might Call For Some Adele

2012-01-10T17:08:00.000Z

Okay, confession time: I wrote a totally pathetic post last night and (gasp) published it but then I had an attack of oh-my-God-what-if-they're-tired-of-me-being-down and so I deleted it. But this morning I got this really sweet email from Karen about it and I realized that:

a) some of you saw it before I took it off anyway
b) there's nothing wrong with being a bit gloomy when, you know, life sucks

Basically, for those of you who aren't as impressively on top of your Google reader as you might be (ahem), I explained that I was at Dulles International Airport, waiting to board my flight back to London, and that I didn't want to get on the plane.

And then I asked an immortal question, one that I'm sure I will ask until I die:

At what age do you stop wanting to be with your mother when [expletive] hits the fan?

I'm not there yet.

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I've got a lot going on right now, and, to be honest, I was stressed out by everything that's being thrown at me even before Dad called about Grandma last week. There's a constant chatter in the blogosphere about how much of the messy bits of our lives we bloggers should share with our readers and, on the flip side of the coin, how much of the messy bits our readers want to be aware of, so I'm very conscious of trying to walk the line. Therefore, while I'm not going to stop posting about the hard parts that come with being a daughter/granddaughter/sister/girlfriend/expat/professional/whatever, I'm going to do my best to do so in a measured and composed way. And in the meantime, I'm going to remember this, from Marilyn Monroe:

Monday Laugh

2012-01-09T10:37:00.000Z

I've been drafting the promised posts about moving to the UK to/for work (thanks for your queries, by the way!) and have been running into the complicated question of how to talk about my experiences without, you know, specifically talking about my experiences. Of course, my navigation of the visa process, the job search, and the move will figure in the information and advice that I pass along to you, but I do want to be careful about protecting myself as well as my family, friends, and colleagues, none of whom chose to be part of this blog.

Look, I know that if you put your mind to it you could discover my surname, my employer, and probably much more. I'm vague enough, I hope, in that I don't broadcast any information that is too particular, but I haven't made a concerted effort to be completely anonymous or to keep these details secret. So I think we're just going to have to trust each other, dear readers. After all, we don't want this sort of situation...

On Faith and Loss

2012-01-08T14:54:00.002Z

Judaism doesn't really focus on the afterlife. The Torah is primarily intent on instructions for the here and now, though it does propose existence after death, so most of what Jews believe regarding future punishments and/or rewards has been extrapolated by biblical scholars through the centuries and is open to personal interpretation. Essentially, though, Jews don't ascribe to heaven and hell in the same way that Christianity does: in Judaism, the souls of the righteous dead ascend to a higher state of spiritual perfection in which they learn the secrets of the scriptures, and the souls of those who did not earn this transcendent award through their actions while alive are subjected to a punishment/purification processes after which they join the righteous with God.

To be honest, I'm not sure I entirely believe this. I do buy it over Dante's version of the afterlife, which seems a bit histrionic but which has been adopted by millions of of people of all faiths who perhaps haven't spent as much time in church/temple/whatever as they could, and I prefer it to most biblically-based Christian beliefs, be they Catholic, Protestant, or anything in between. However, I hypocritically do love the liturgy of the Requiem Mass and find many settings - the Mozart, Fauré, Duruflé, and Verdi are generally the most popular - to be incredibly powerful.

I've talked a bit on this blog about my own brand of faith, but what I haven't shared with you, dear readers, is this: I want more.

I want more faith.

There's a blog I read obsessively - I won't name it here because it doesn't seem appropriate given that I am not exclusively saying nice things - that is so firmly grounded in faith that it blows my mind. Even when the blogger isn't overtly discussing her evangelical Christianity, it clearly directs her every action and thought. She overwhelmingly believes in the love of Jesus and unequivocally places her trust in God.

At the beginning, in all honesty, I mocked the blog and its 12,000 followers. (Yes, you read that right: twelve thousand.) I saw this woman's adherence to her religion as irresponsible, maybe even cowardly; that kind of blind faith seemed naïve to me. How could you put your happiness in someone else's hands and be convinced that everything will turn out alright? How could you yield the power to make decisions about your life and be confident that whoever is in control knows better than you?

It took me a few months, but eventually I realized that the snark that reflexively flared whenever I read a new post wasn't really rooted in any fundamental disagreement - it sprung from a total lack of understanding. I realized that I couldn't comprehend how anyone could believe that wholeheartedly in anything, tangible or otherwise, and it scared me. So I sat myself down for some introspection, and discovered further that it wasn't simply that I didn't understand that kind of faith or that I was afraid of it, but that I was jealous of it.

You've read about my Jewish upbringing and my concurrent immersion in the culture and beliefs of the Anglican church, but what you perhaps haven't ingested is that I don't truly profess to believe wholeheartedly in any religion. I maintain that it's not necessary to agree with the tenets of a single faith, but I am learning that it is incredibly important, if you don't ascribe to one official belief, to create your own. Cut and paste if you want and/or make it up as you go along, but have faith. I don't yet, not entirely, and I'm desperate to. I don't know if finding faith will provide any clarity or answer any questions, but I know that it will comfort me through times of trial and I know that it will release me from some of the stress that I place on myself. Having faith - real, overwhelming, mind-blowing faith - takes amazing courage and strength, and I want more.

LHR - JFK - IAD - LHR

2012-01-07T20:20:00.000Z

As you'll know if you follow me on Twitter, I'm back in the States for the weekend.

Yes, you read that right: the weekend.

This is how it went down...

10:38pm Wednesday - received text from Dad
11:19pm Wednesday - booked flight to New York
4:30pm Thursday - boarded plane at Heathrow
8:00pm Thursday - landed at JFK
10:00am Friday - arrived at hospital

My grandmother is very ill. There are lots of things medically wrong with her - which explains the hospital - but the overwhelming problem is, basically, that she's old, and when you're old your body stops being able to work the way it needs to in order for you to function appropriately. (This had to be explained to me, by the way, very slowly and using small words; for a very long time I couldn't comprehend how organs and muscles and things stop doing their jobs. I mean, what the hell are they doing if they're not doing what they're meant to do? It's not like you can play Trivial Pursuit in there.)

I spent most of Friday at Grandma's bedside and I have to say that, while it was wonderful to be there, surrounded by my family, it was also incredibly difficult. My father had briefed me thoroughly on his mother's status and I had tried to rearrange my expectations to be as realistic as possible, but nothing can prepare you for seeing someone you love in that condition. To be honest, it's probably for the best that Grandma wasn't aware of her surroundings when I arrived because it would probably have disturbed her further to see me bursting into uncontrollable tears. I'm so grateful that she made it through the fog long enough to recognize that I was there, but unfortunately her clarity didn't last long and she spent most of the afternoon lapsing in and out of delirium.

We have no idea what the future holds for Grandma or even how long the future might be; she has been diagnosed as terminal and will remain so even if my father and aunt decide to go forward with interventionist measures. I'll be heading back to London early in the week because there isn't really anything further I can do, but I'm very glad that I am able to be with her and with my family this weekend.

Frock Fridays

2012-01-06T12:14:00.000Z

Because I'm saving up for various projects - my next visa is a seriously expensive item on my 2012 to-do list - I'm under a self-imposed moratorium on spending money on new clothes. This would be difficult at any time of the year and especially during the post-Christmas sales, but keeping my wallet safely hidden away is extra challenging right now because I've just discovered Shabby Apple.

My wardrobe during the colder months usually consists of summer dresses + tights + cardigans, but I'm getting a bit bored of pulling out the same few items. When I want to be comfortable yet still put together, I turn to my beloved collection of jersey dresses, but at the moment even velvet isn't doing it for me. (It's truly a tragedy when favorite clothes lose their magic. Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about - you've sobbed at finding the bloom gone from a sartorial rose. I know you have. That's why we're friends.) I thought, though, that maybe another option for me could be the classic shirtdress; I've never been much of a shirtdress girl, but they're structured while not being too tailored which means that they're flattering and easy to wear, so I decided they were worth looking into. I turned to Pinterest for a little virtual window-shopping and - amidst a heavenly chorus and the sound of angels' trumpets blowing - found Mecca.

Shabby Apple aims "to make dresses a one-piece outfit, making women feel feminine and beautiful for what they wear, not what they bare." They've got perfect options for every body shape - find styles that work for you here - and are totally affordable. Plus, each frock comes with a story, which is adorable. Apparently they've been talked about all over the place recently, so I'm surprised that I'm only just discovering them, but this is definitely a case of better late than never.

I limited myself to admiring only shirtdresses for the purposes of this post, but they've got tons o' styles that I'm loving.

For work...

and play...

and everything in between! Yes, please, thank you; I'll take all of them.

[ This is not a sponsored post - I am simply crazy about Shabby Apple's dresses and wanted to share them with you. Besides, I'm not even close to being that kind of blogger... yet! ]

Hey, It's Okay

2012-01-04T19:50:00.000Z

... if you realize halfway through a fight that your argument isn't valid but continue to stand your ground anyway

... if you buy new shoes every chance you get but keep the same three old pairs on rotation

... if you insist on making your (boy)friend take endless "candid" photos of you until you get one with the right air of unstudied insouciance

.... if you buy your sexy lingerie from M&S or Target because you don't see the point in spending tons of money on something you'll only be wearing for 30 seconds

... if you tell everyone you're dreaming of a whirlwind trip to Paris but really just want a weekend at home in your PJs with lots of books and no obligations

[ all images via pinterest]

Traveling Around London Just Got More Expensive

2012-01-03T20:23:00.004Z

Yes, that's right. I know you thought it couldn't happen, but it did. Traveling around London just got more expensive - on average, it's going to cost you 6% more.

London is renowned for its myriad of convenient public transportation options, so those of us who depend on the trains, trams, Tubes, and buses to get around grimace but ultimately pay up. Fares have consistently increased year on year and so far we've all bit the bullet, but I have a feeling that there will be consequences if the hikes continue at this pace.

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Consider:
- an adult single ticket, valid for zones 1-2, used to cost £4.00 but now costs £4.30, an increase of 7.5%
- an adult one-day travelcard, valid for zones 1-2, used to cost £6.60 but now costs £7.00, an increase of 6.1%
- an adult pay-as-you-go Oystercard, valid for zones 1-2, used to cost £2.50 per ride but now costs £2.70 per ride, an increase of 8%

These may seem like relatively small jumps, but they really do make a difference when added up over the course of even a few days. This is bad news for locals and visitors alike, and I can only imagine that it'll be bad for London in the long run as professionals get priced out of working in the city and tourists decide to take their holiday money to another town.

made by me!

So what can you do if you have to get around London? Here are my three top tips on traveling smart:

Get an Oystercard. It costs a few pounds to buy one, but the savings are enormous. Plus, it never expires and you can top it up with money as needed, making it perfect for tourists who visit often. Make the investment.

Work out if a weekly or monthly pass will save you money. Let's assume that you live and work within zones 1-2; if you travel by Tube just twice a day you will spend £37.80 with a pay-as-you-go Oystercard. A weekly travelcard (on your Oystercard) for zones 1-2 will cost you £29.20. Do the math.

Take buses where possible. If you're on a pay-as-you-go Oystercard, you'll be charged £1.35 each time you tap onto a bus, regardless of the zones you're coming from or going to, which will make your trip at least £1.35 cheaper than it would have been if you had chosen the Tube. It might make your journey slightly longer, but you'll get to see more of London overground than underground. Spend the time.

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Londoners and frequent visitors, what would you suggest to save money when taking public transportation around town?

Thoughts for Monday

2012-01-02T14:08:00.000Z

As we gallivant into the new year, I'm going to forgo our usual Monday Laugh - though this post will not be entirely without humor - because I think that, on this first Monday of 2012, having laughed all weekend and still enjoying the holiday, it might be helpful to get a bit meta before we turn to face our resolutions head-on.

I've been having some trouble at the office recently, and a kind colleague quoted the serenity prayer to me after one particularly frustrating incident:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

To be honest, my mother has been trying to teach me this for years, but it's only in the last few months that the truth of the prayer has really sunk in. It's not only relevant for work, but also for relationships - familial, romantic, and otherwise - and can be applied to small daily interactions as well as major life-altering difficulties.

I'm certainly still working on fully embracing the prayer, and I doubt very much that any mere mortal is able to truly embody its mantra all the time, but I've found a way to interpret it that seems to help me manage the issues that I find myself confronted with (or confronting). When mindful, my attitude is that I can't control how people act; what I can control is how I respond to their actions. No, it doesn't necessarily address the root of the problems - although it can - but it ensures that I feel more secure because the decision to react (or not) is mine and mine alone.

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Jon and I have been engaging in the annual couples' ritual of bickering at Christmastime. We've covered everything under the sun from present-buying to card-writing to gift-wrapping and back again. When I recently discovered a language called Láadan, developed in the mid-1980s by Suzette Haden Elgin to give women a lexicon expressly suited to expressing the female point of view, I had to laugh, because the concept of women needing a different language to get their point across seems so appropriate.

watch especially 4:33-5:35

My favorite part of Láadan is how many words it has for anger; each one, of course, carries a slightly different meaning.

bala: anger with reason with someone to blame, and something can be done about it
bama: anger with reason with no one to blame, and nothing can be done about it
bana: anger with reason with no one to blame, and nothing can be done about it

bara: anger with reason with someone to blame, and nothing can be done about it
bina: anger with no reason with no one to blame, and something can be done about it

How funny is that? Love it - now, to get Jon on board with the nuances...

Welcome, 2012!

2012-01-01T23:29:00.001Z

What a wonderful New Year's Eve - and what an amazing start to 2012.

Okay, so I wasn't in London for the fireworks last night, but I hear they were incredible. Instead, Jon and I had a blast at a friend's family's party at their estate in the country. Thirty of us gathered for an amazing three-course dinner, parlor games, snooker, singing, dancing, laughing, and, of course, lots of champagne. Obviously I had the most handsome man on my arm, and I was delighted to claim him for the first kiss of the new year.

We welcomed 2012 this morning with coffee and a few energetic rounds of paintball, followed by a delicious roast lunch and much more conversation. Arriving back at Jon's parents' house in the late afternoon, we settled in for an evening of Pixar movies, tea, and cuddles with the cats. It's been a heavenly day - it bodes well for the rest of the year!

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I hope you all had a perfectly lovely start to 2012, dear readers, and that you're as excited for the coming year as I am. Onwards and upwards!

TwoThousandEleven - TwoThousandTwelve

2011-12-31T12:13:00.000Z

Tonight's the night, dear readers: tonight we move into a new year! The last 365 days have been incredible in all their ups and downs, and I'm deeply grateful that you've come along with me for the ride. We've experienced so much together; it's a lovely comfort to know that you're right beside me through the thick and the thin of life and I'm very happy to be able to share it all with you. 2012 is going to bring even more adventure, I'm sure of it, so make sure to keep your hats on!

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I am very much looking forward to tonight's elaborate festivities - don't worry, I'm back on the sauce for the occasion - and can't wait to celebrate all of the joy of the past year. The new year can be used as an excuse to put what's been firmly behind us, but I don't think that I'll be letting go so quickly...

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So often, as the clock ticks over from 11:59pm on 31 December to 12:00am on 1 January, we resolve to change. We commit to starting fresh. We swear up and down that this is the year we'll reinvent ourselves - but I'm beginning to realize that the new year doesn't emerge from a vacuum.

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It's part of the human condition to improve; we're on a constant quest to better ourselves. I do believe that this is not only natural but healthy, and that in striving for advancement we are fulfilling our greatest potential. However, I am discovering that without a full awareness of where we have come from we cannot progress to where we want to go. I am understanding that blank slates do not exist because everything we do from hereon out rests on what we have already done.

Therefore, my resolution for 2012 is to own my past while boldly exploring my future. Regardless of what I have done right or wrong in the last year, I will move forward having learnt from the incredible experiences that 2011 brought.

I hope that your 2011 was full of joy and adventure - may your 2012 be even more so. Happy New Year, dear readers!

Frock Fridays - NYE

2011-12-30T13:50:00.000Z

Jon and I are heading back to Suffolk for this second holiday weekend. We'll spend some time with his parents, of course, but the real draw is a New Year's Eve house party hosted by Harry, one of Jon's best friends from childhood. Jon keeps telling me not to let my imagination run away from me, but I predict that this is going to be no ordinary shindig. You see, Harry lives in a stately pile full of beautiful art and fine furniture and, the last time I went to a party there, everyone was in black tie and the champagne flowed like water. (Your posh-o-meter should be going crazy at this moment - is it? Good.) So, basically, I think I have the right to go all out for for the NYE bash.

The only problem is that I'm totally broke after Christmas and, even with the current crazy sales, I can't afford to buy a new frock. My brilliant solution: renting a fabulous dress for the occasion from WishWantWear, a website that loans out designer clothes for a fraction of the retail price. (The American version of this company is called Rent The Runway.) I've totally fallen for the classic Hollywood glamour of this Badgley Mischka gown...

Le sigh. To be worn avec des lèvres rouges, je pense, et un chignon, et des perles, et peut-être même des gants aux coudes - non?

[Note: due to a week-long case of indecision, I didn't put the order through in time and so will not actually be wearing this frock to the party. Quel dommage - mais dans mes rêves...]

The Eye of the Storm

2011-12-28T10:45:00.000Z

Okay, the holiday is over and we're back at the office, which means that we really have survived Christmas - congratulations! Here in the UK we had Monday and Tuesday off work, so even though this week is very short I'm still enjoying the opportunity to de-stress from all of the wonderful mania of the weekend past and to gear up for the excitement of the weekend ahead. I've got a facial at Bliss scheduled for lunchtime today - thanks, Mom, and Happy Hanukkah to you, too! - and Jon and I have a romantic date planned for tomorrow night.

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I'm sure you're all taking a deep breath this week as well, so let's take advantage of this time to prepare for new adventures and new experiences. I'm going to do a whole series of posts in early January about the ins and outs of moving to the UK to/for work. I will craft these posts around the information that will be most helpful to you; please tell me what you want to know about:

the visa process

finding and applying for jobs

differences in workplace culture

Leave comments here or drop me an email with any specifics that would be especially appropriate for you and I will do my best to address them in the coming weeks!

Christmas in Suffolk

2011-12-27T20:00:00.000Z

Hello, dear readers - hello to you from the peace and quiet of my own little flat in London. I'm back home after a wonderful weekend in Suffolk; I'm crazy about Jon's family and it was such a delight to share Christmas with them, but it is lovely to be in my own space again and able to hear myself think! (We were nine on Christmas Eve, increasing to 17 on Boxing Day, not counting the four cats and two dogs that made appearances throughout the holiday.)

As is the way with traditions, this Christmas was very much like the last, though with some added sparkle: dinner on the 24th included latkes, we were joined at lunch on the 25th by some new friends who had been adopted for the weekend, and Jon's cousins' Samoyed puppy came along for our epic walk on the 26th.

I've downloaded Instagram to Jon's iPhone - I'm devoted to my BlackBerry but the superior camera and related apps on the iPhone are making me count down the months until I'm eligible for an upgrade from 02 - and had a blast taking photos on the Boxing Day ramble. It was an absolutely beautiful day and unseasonably warm, allowing us to trek for 10km (really!) through a nature preserve to the sea.

Yes, I did play with the images, but the colors truly were that spectacular. What a weekend! I hope you all were blessed as I was this holiday, and that you now have time, after the chaos, to reflect on the joys of the season.

Monday Laugh - Christmukkah

2011-12-26T09:35:00.000Z

Dear readers, I've been totally remiss this holiday season in barely talking about Hanukkah. We all know that I'm a bad Jew regardless, but besides that I do have a decent reason for having focused on Christmas in regards to my lifestyle: basically, Hanukkah is a relatively minor celebration and doesn't even appear in the Torah. It has essentially gained prominence in order to compete with or provide an alternative to Christmas for those who don't believe in the New Testament. Hanukkah is all about community and identity, celebrating the Jewish victory over the Greek oppressors who tried to force them to betray their religion, and although I don't feel part of a Jewish community here in London I do still absolutely identify personally as Jewish. I have been lighting the candles each night and saying the appropriate blessings, even here in Suffolk with Jon's family for Christmas, and I remember every day that, in some parts of the world, not everyone has the freedom to safely believe in his/her religion.

On a lighter note, though, I recently found Jonathan Safran Foer's "A Beginner's Guide to Hanukkah" in the archives of the New York Times - here's my favorite bit:

There is a certain kind of Jew who, despite knowing that Christmas isn't his holiday and that it would severely distress his relatives (particularly the dead ones) if he acknowledged feelings of Christmas Envy, much less acted on them, gets a Christmas tree anyway. And does the leaving-a-cookie-out-for-Santa thing. And the sweaters and the nog. But of course he never lets any of it interfere with the Hanukkah celebrations, whatever they are. And you have to admit, "Silent Night" is a seriously beautiful song. Then one day this twice-a-year Jew who is a once-a-year Christian walks in on his children talking about Baby Jesus. So he sends them to Hebrew School where, over time, they learn Christmas Envy. And the cycle repeats itself.

Sigh - so true. This Jewpiscopalian has been singing carols from the Hymnal 1982 all over London for the past few weeks (the trick is to wait to break into the descants on the tube platform until the train approaches so the sound muffles your voice and you don't totally freak out your fellow commuters) and wants to buy a glue gun only because of the DIY decorations that she is desperate to make next year (I've got my eye on ornament wreaths but, really, the possibilities are endless) and knows the nativity story from each of the gospels better than most official Christians (actually, it only appears in Matthew and Luke, who agree on hardly any of the details) and, generally, is conflicted. But - boy, is she having a good time!

(If you're still confused about Hanukkah, check out these painfully funny FAQs that I found through Wendy.)

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T18:25:00.000Z

On this Christmas day, I am very pleased to announce that the winner of the (500) Posts of Betsy Transatlantically giveaway is...

Wendy! Wendy, email me with your address and I'll send you your prize full of goodies: the Keep Calm and Carry On bag stuffed with England-themed treats. (We might as well make your stay enjoyable while you're here, right?) Thanks to everyone who entered, and a special welcome to new visitors.

And on that note...

wishing you and yours a joyous Christmas

full of love and cheer!

Music for Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T10:08:00.000Z

Yes, you lovely long-time readers of this blog are right: Hark, Hear the Bells, Part One was written last year. We should look at this not as a failure to follow through on the promise of Part Two back in 2010 but rather as evidence that, as the Byrds say, to everything there is a season: turn, turn, turn. And lo, the season has arrived again.

In the spirit of continuity, I left off promising you a list of choral Christmas favorites, and so, because my words here are sacred, I've asked my friend Christine to join us as an expert guest blogger. Christine is, like, actually a singer; I'm recreational, but she's professional. We sang together as choristers, and since then she has gone on to hone her artistry through advanced studies. She brings an incredible understanding of historical and cultural context to the music she performs, making us especially lucky that she agreed to write today's post. (She usually charges for this sort of thing, you know!) Please do help me welcome Christine:

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Hello! I’m very honored that Betsy has invited me to write this guest post on my favorite Christmas carols. She and I grew up singing in choir together in Washington, DC, so choral music is a huge part of our friendship. I’m delighted to share my choral ~~obsession~~ knowledge with you!

I’ve put together a list of music that, essentially, I would program for my ideal service of Nine Lessons and Carols (nine pieces, plus an introit!), thus excluding movements from large choral works like Handel’s Messiah and Bach’s Christmas Oratorio. Both are great works, but they don’t belong here. I am also an unabashed Anglophile, and it definitely shows in this list (and not only in the prevalence of King’s College Cambridge in the YouTube videos—I would have chosen other good recordings, if they were more widely available online)! There really are hundreds of great little gems to choose from, so I hope no one’s offended that I didn’t include their favorite piece on this list. I also hope, though, that if you aren’t familiar with some of these pieces, you grow to love them as I do, and include them in your own annual traditional/classical/choral Christmas collection.

Without further ado, here are my top ten carols:

Tomorrow shall be my dancing day – John Gardner
I’ll never forget the hilarity that ensued when we first sang this piece with the Choir of Men and Girls at Washington National Cathedral! “Then was I—born of a vir—gin pure!” It’s truly brilliant text setting, especially in the minds of high school girls and immature lay clerks. And the combo of organ, descant, and tambourine in the last verse? Amazing.

There is a Flower – John Rutter
Undoubtedly the best piece John Rutter ever composed (in part thanks to the lack of super cheesy organ accompaniment, so commonly found in his other carols), this piece opens with a gorgeous solo (sung in this recording by our friend Gen!). The texture grows more and more lush, climaxing with cascading “alleluias,” and concludes with a reprisal of the opening solo.

I sing of a maiden – Peter Hadley
I have fond memories of singing this piece in treble only weekday Evensong at the National Cathedral, a tradition that I still miss being a part of to this day, and that may account for some of my love of this piece. I think it might be a little more obscure than some of the other music on this list; however, I do think that it’s absolutely gorgeous, and I hope you like it too!

Hodie Christus natus est – Jan Peterzoon Sweelinck
It was a tough call between this setting, by Jan Peterzoon Sweelinck, and the setting of the same text by Francis Poulenc, but the sheer joy of Sweelinck’s music is impossible to turn down. I love the contrasts between the different sections of text, and the enthusiasm that you feel singing (or listening to) the exclamations of “Noé!” at the end.

Videte miraculum – Thomas Tallis
Thomas Tallis is one of my absolute favorite composers (if you like this, check out In ieiunio et fletu, Missa Puer natus est (a Christmas mass!), O nata lux…and pretty much everything else he wrote), so I really couldn’t leave him off this list, especially with a Christmas piece as stunning as this. It’s a great piece to sing soprano on, especially if you like floaty high stuff!

Coventry carol – anonymous, 1591 MS
While this tune is very well known in several arrangements, I particularly love this one, found in a 1591 British manuscript. I’ll show my bias towards early music by saying that the semitonal dissonances at the end of each verse and refrain (called cross relations) are so, so awesome!!

Here is the Little Door – Herbert Howells
Composed by Herbert Howells, in my opinion one of the greatest British composers of all time, this piece is an absolute gem. The way he contrasts the verses with different harmonizations that reflect the text (like Warlock’s Bethlehem Down, as you’ll read later in this post) is absolute genius.

In Dulci Jubilo – Robert Pearsall
Like the Coventry Carol, this is a well known tune, sung in many different arrangements. This one, composed by Robert Pearsall, is particularly lovely. For some reason, perhaps because it is so frequently performed by young British choirs, and combines the traditional Latin text with English tropes, it sounds exceptionally Anglican to me (which makes me love it even more!)

A Spotless Rose – Herbert Howells
Who doesn’t love a nice juicy…baritone soloist? Seriously, though, maybe it’s just because I have a somewhat pathetic penchant for good baritone voices, but this piece makes me weak in the knees every time I hear it. Again, Howells = genius.

Bethlehem Down – Peter Warlock
This piece, composed in 1927 by Peter Warlock, is so beautiful! Like Here is the Little Door, I love how the harmonizations of the melody change based on the text of each verse. Of course, it helps that the text itself, written by a friend of Warlock named Bruce Blunt, is so poignant:

"When He is King we will give Him the Kings' gifts,

Myrrh for its sweetness, and gold for a crown,

Beautiful robes," said the young girl to Joseph,

Fair with her firstborn on Bethlehem Down.

Bethlehem Down is full of the starlight,

Winds for the spices, and stars for the gold,

Mary for sleep, and for lullaby music

Songs of a shepherd by Bethlehem fold.

When He is King, they will clothe Him in gravesheets,

Myrrh for embalming, and wood for a crown,

He that lies now in the white arms of Mary

Sleeping so lightly on Bethlehem Down.

Here He has peace and a short while for dreaming,

Close huddled oxen to keep Him from cold,

Mary for love, and for lullaby music

Songs of a shepherd by Bethlehem fold.

While I’ve never actually sung this carol myself, I’ve heard it several times, and I keep my fingers crossed every Christmas that it will be scheduled for one of the services or concerts I sing in. I also find it quite amusing that Warlock and Blunt teamed up to write the carol to submit it to the Daily Telegraph’s annual Christmas carol writing contest in order to fund a pub crawl! It’s precisely the mindset of many Anglican musicians I know today!

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Thanks so much, Christine! It's great to see some old favorites on this list and to be introduced to new pieces that I'm sure will quickly enter my iTunes rotation. Dear readers, I hope that your Christmas weekend is full of music and joy.

(Check back tomorrow morning to see if you've won the GIVEAWAY - you still have a few hours to enter!)

Frock Fridays

2011-12-23T12:37:00.000Z

I emailed Jon's aunt to tell her that I was going to make latkes at Jon's mother's house on Christmas Eve. This was the exchange that followed:

AUNT: oh yes! we plan to have christmas, hannukah, and possibly chinese new year...
BETSY: oh boy. I'm going to need a very versatile wardrobe for this visit!
AUNT: god i spend the whole time in the same jeans and sweater!!! you must lower your standards to our levels...

Basically, this means that, unlike the Duchess of Cambridge, I won't be required to wear an evening gown to Christmas dinner. However, you know that I'm overdressed for every occasion, so this festive frock from Anthroplogie might be as casual as I can bear:

Isn't it great? Classy but not stuffy - to be worn with pearls studs, almost definitely, and my silver stacking rings, plus black opaques and maybe my Sam Edelman snakeskin flats. (With five cousins running around plus a dog or two and a couple of cats, heels are definitely not an option.) What do you think?

The GIVEAWAY ends tomorrow - make sure you enter before 10pm GMT on 24 December!

Talk To Me, Harry Winston

2011-12-22T15:15:00.000Z

Jewelry is such a tricky present to give and receive. Men often don't understand the significance that a little box can have to a woman, and women often don't know how to explain the meaning behind preferred styles and pieces. Jewelry needs to be bought with the heart as well as the wallet, and communication is the key to unlock both - so I've been leaving these adverts all over the place, hoping that Jon will pick up the hint...

There's no way he can misunderstand that blue, right? Well, I can hope. After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Also, please join me in wishing my amazing father a very happy birthday today - he has taught me to never give up on my beliefs and dreams and shown me that commitment and passion go hand-in-hand with hard work and dedication to achieving one's goals, which has stood me in good stead during my transatlanticism. I love you, Dad. (The Puppini Sisters were chosen especially for you, you know, on the recording in this post. Enjoy!)

Hanukkah Latkes

2011-12-21T23:18:00.002Z

Well, there's not much more I can do to prepare for Christmas at this point - we're heading down to Suffolk on Friday night, so anything that hasn't been done by now probably never will be. (Tomorrow night will be negatively productive as Jon's flat is hosting a Christmas dinner. Who wants to wait till the 25th? Not us.)

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Jon's family has a lot of traditions for Christmas that are set in stone, but they've very generously made room in this weekend's craziness for something new: Hanukkah! The Festival of Lights started last night and so I'm going to make latkes for the whole mishpocha on Christmas Eve.

antique menorah bought in Berlin in 2007

I emailed my mother in the hopes that she would send me her trusty latke recipe, but she's one of those really obnoxious cooks who does everything by feel and doesn't use measurements so she turned out to be not so helpful. (Love you, Mü!) I did some research on the interwebs for good options - the creative ones look amazing, like Ina's zucchini pancakes and these baked ones with sweet potatoes as well as these stuffed with apples and cheese and Bon Appétit's variety with mushrooms - but I think that, as it's Jon's family's first Hanukkah, we should stick with the simple classic latke:

1 lbs potatoes

1/2 c finely chopped onion

1 egg, lightly beaten

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 to 3/4 c olive oil

Preheat overn to 250*F. Peel potatoes and grate by hand, transferring to a large bowl of cold water as grated. Soak potatoes 1-2 minutes after last batch is added to water, then drain well in a colander.

Spread grated potatoes and onion on a kitchen towel and roll up. Twist towel tightly to wring out as much liquid as possible. Transfer potato/onion to a bowl and stir in the egg and salt.

Heat 1/4 c il in a large non-stick skillet over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking. Spoon 2 tbs of latke mixture into skillet, forming into rounds as necessary with the back of the spoon. Reduce heat to moderate and cook until undersides are crispy, about 5 minutes. Turn latkes over and cook the other side until crispy, about 5 minutes. Transfer to paper towels to drain and season with salt. Add more oil to the skillet as needed and repeat until all of the batter is used. Keep latkes warm on a wire rack set in a shallow baking pan in the oven.

Serve with sour cream and apple sauce and enjoy!

By the way, if you still need a holiday present for yourself... you should enter my GIVEAWAY! Only three more days to try your chances!

Office Christmas Party Drinks

2011-12-20T15:36:00.000Z

True confession: I haven't had a drink in 25 days. While home over Thanksgiving, I was the reluctant recipient of several "you must take care of your health" talks, and so I decided to cut out alcohol - I've tried to give up carbs, sweets, and cheese at various points in the past but have always failed, though I'm still trying to be careful about all of them - and I've been much more successful than I expected. My goal was to be teetotal until Christmas Eve, but I'm actually enjoying it so much than I might continue indefinitely. The side effects to not drinking are fantastic: not only do I feel healthier inside, but my skin is clear and bright, I'm sleeping well, and my wallet is very happy. At the beginning I missed out on a few nights on the town with friends because I didn't want to tempt myself, but I'm confident that I could easily say no now in any situation.

This is am especially good thing tonight because it's my office Christmas party; my motto when I drink is in vino veritas, which is a terrible idea when surrounded by colleagues, superior or otherwise. If I were on the sauce, though, I'd follow Grub Street's guide to drinking at work events:

Makes sense to me - what were your guidelines at your office Christmas party? I think I'll be safe from embarrassing myself, though I'll probably need you to wish me luck as most of my coworkers do drink and so who knows what might happen...

Monday Laugh

2011-12-19T13:49:00.000Z

Christmas Traditions

2011-12-18T15:29:00.000Z

Jon and I have established some of our own Christmas traditions, which is lovely, but one of my favorite parts of the holiday season is being enveloped in his family's rituals. Today we drove out to a tree farm and picked out what must surely be the Platonic ideal of a Norway Spruce; the early part of the afternoon, after a lunch of runny cheese and crusty bread and cold pork pie, was spent in the sitting room twining tinsel and lights around the tree and hanging baubles and candles from the branches. We're now all curled up in front of the fire watching The Nightmare Before Christmas and casting admiring glances at our handiwork in the corner of the room.

I hope you're all having a wonderful pre-Christmas weekend! Just five more days of work until we get to enjoy gingersnaps and mulled wine and - oh, wait, I've been doing that since Thanksgiving ended. Oops!

Deck The Halls

2011-12-17T13:26:00.000Z

In little bits and pieces all over the course of the past two weeks, I have been getting my flat ready for Christmas. My ideal decorating scenario for the holidays is one where it looks like an elf upchucked magic all over my doors and walls, so I do declare my home to be ready for Christmas although I have very little space and even less money: I have stuck ribbon bows on every surface, hung fairy lights over every window, and strung baubles into garlands and taped them onto the ceiling. There seems to be some sort of fetish at the moment amongst design aficionados for minimalist/Scandinavian holiday decor, but my attitude towards the whole season is along the lines of "more is more." (Next year, when I'm in a bigger place, I'll take photos of my madness for you.)

[ ideal ]

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As you know, I'm a bit iffy about having a Christmas tree in my house when I'm the only official resident. We had a splendid little tree last year when I lived with Jon and the boys, and I have to admit that I'm looking forward to sharing Jon's again in 2012. I bring this up now because Jon and I have hied ourselves to his parents' house in Suffolk for the annual Christmas Tree Weekend, which is excellent because I'm a bit desperate to bedeck a fir.

Neil Gaiman, a nice Jewish boy if there ever was one, understands my cross-cultural yearnings: "We were not jealous of friends who got Christmas presents," he writes of his childhood. "We were jealous of the friends with Christmas trees. Having a Christmas tree was what Christmas was all about. It had nothing to do with mangers and shepherds and Wise Men. Not as far as we were concerned. It was trees all the way, properly decorated ones, with tinsel and glass balls and a star on the top."

So I'm delighted that, this weekend, I will be a crucial member of the tree-choosing committee as well as an enthusiastic participant in the tree-decorating process. Photos to follow, of course!

Frock Fridays - Office Christmas Party

2011-12-16T11:43:00.000Z

In London, the office Christmas party is an awesome thing - and I mean that in the biblical sense of the word. Maybe I wasn't a professional in the States for long enough to truly appreciate the annual event there, but I'm pretty confident regardless that in the UK it's a horse of an entirely different color: it is epic. Many companies, especially big ones like banks and law firms, have a huge bash that is more like a drunken club night than anything else. For this reason, bars all across the city have been advertising themselves for weeks as the perfect venue to hire for the event.

Apparently, one in ten workers in the UK exhibits behavior at the office Christmas party that is regretted the next morning. I read two articles in the last week alone (in Grazia, I think, and also in the ES Magazine) saying that the office Christmas party is responsible for many ill-advised affairs and listing secret devices one could use to spy on the suspected infidelity of a partner or spouse. Most offices, you see, don't invite significant others to their events, which I find totally strange but which seems to be the status quo around here.

I sort of understand why, given the opportunity, the office Christmas party can be such a disaster. You're in a room full of colleagues with whom you might be perfectly friendly on a professional level but you feel obliged to let down your hair in front of them for this one special occasion. You've probably jettisoned your normal shift dress for a statement frock that says "Hey, guys, I'm relentless when it comes to submitting invoices on time but I know how to have a good time, too!" You've been given access to an open bar, which helps lubricate the awkwardness of, well, everything, really, especially once the music comes on and everyone starts dancing. All of that spells enormous potential for embarrassment.

For those of you who still can't picture a British office Christmas party, let me point you to this review of an amazing piece of theatre currently running in London called, appropriately enough, Office Party:

That uncomfortable time of year has come round again, when parts of the anatomy normally kept safely hidden in pinstripes are thrust upon the groaning photocopier, and the stationery cupboard is reinvented as a hotbed of passion.Yes, it's time for offices across the country to shed their code of conduct for one night only and get dolled up for the annual Christmas party.

Every women's magazine is featuring pages upon pages of suggestions for the perfect office-party-appropriate frock; it's got to be something that shows you have a personality distinct from your reputation as a slavedriver/doormat but at the same time it's got to cover anything that you don't want exposed to the people who will have to respect you the next morning. What to wear at my company's office Christmas party next week is, actually, a realtively simple decision for me because my job incorporates so much event work anyway that my colleagues are used to seeing me overdressed for the office in preparation for an evening do. When I say relatively simple, though, I mean that I'm deciding between three equally fun French Connection frocks...

Check back on Tuesday for more on the British office Christmas party - and, in the meantime, make sure to enter my GIVEAWAY!

Traveling Graciously

2011-12-15T10:35:00.000Z

The holiday season always brings lots of traveling: visits back home, jaunts to Jon's family in the country, and weekends away with friends. I was taught that a gracious guest always arrives bearing a hostess gift, and as I've gotten older I've tried to be a bit more inventive and personal about what I bring as a thank-you. I remember reading a while ago that you should generally not bring wine or flowers, especially when invited for dinner; your host might feel pressured to serve your wine with the meal even if it doesn't compliment the menu and the last thing s/he will want to do when welcoming guests is spend time hunting for an appropriate vase.

Because - especially at this time of year - the invitations can stack up without warning, I find it useful to stockpile hostess gifts. I try to grab potential presents as and when I see them (especially if I find things on sale!) so that I don't have to run around frantically trying to scrounge something up before heading out. If I was more organized and had more space, I'd store them in my superduper gift-wrap station that I'd carved out of a closet or cupboard...

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Martha has some creative ideas for hostess gifts, as does Real Simple, but I find that I'm not very inclined to dee-eye-why amongst all the chaos usually associated with travel, especially during the holidays. I suppose you could create fantastic homemade presents before the season starts so as to be amazingly prepared, but we probably shouldn't get carried away. Therefore, for the past couple of months my brilliant idea for hostess gifts has been to look for items marketed as stocking stuffers (which are generally the ideal size and price, I think) that I'd love to receive but that I probably wouldn't buy for myself because I'd be too busy being a superlative hostess to even contemplate spending money on anything that didn't directly contribute to my guests' happiness.

I've got a few examples to share with you, of course...

[ peppermint snow / bubble bath / candle / bottle opener / notepad block ]

Okay, now you can all come stay at my house - see you soon!

'Tis A Gift To Give

2011-12-13T16:02:00.000Z

Blogs all across the interwebs - including this one - are, at the moment, crammed full of wishlists and gift guides, ooh-ing and aah-ing over the most gorgeous items that we're all just dying to open under the tree. I certainly won't stop dreaming about all the pretty things I'd like to get for Christmas and I promise I'll keep sharing them with you, but I'd like to ask you to take a second to think about not only what it means to receive but also what it means to give, especially at this time of year.

Giving can bring such an incredible rush of joy, regardless of the need of the recipient - but imagine how wonderful it feels to know that, in a time of true need, you have made a real difference in the life of someone in desperate circumstances.

We make choices every day that can affect those around us, and during the holiday season it is especially appropriate to consciously think of others especially as we open our hearts and our wallets. From grand gestures (with £100 you could buy Jimmy Choo's croc-effect leather coffee cup sleeve or you could pay for the services of a professional translator to assist with the interview of a prisoner at Guantamamo Bay) to small steps (forgo your daily Starbucks fix to help provide clean water to communities in Africa) we can all choose to help people whose Christmas lists are vital to their survival.

We all know that giving isn't necessarily about money, though; it really can be the thought that counts if you then act. Because I'm in the business of fundraising for charity and I love graphics, I made you a lovely Venn diagram:

It truly is this simple. Identify your passion, your resources, and the opportunity to put both into action. Regardless of how you get involved or with whom, please do give this season. It will be the best present you've ever picked out for yourself.

Monday Laugh

2011-12-12T09:06:00.003Z

At this very moment, children all over the world are writing letters to Santa, promising that they've been good and asking for their hearts' desires. I always wondered how these wishlists were sent to the right place. Maybe, I thought as a child, only people who actually believe in the birth of Christ are allowed to know where St. Nick hangs his hat. Now that I'm older and I realize that Santa lives in our hearts (wow, that's a great line; well done, Betsy) I'm a little disappointed that adults can't get their act together to agree on at least a symbolic address for the letters to be posted to - the poor kids must be so confused!

Let's be honest, though - even if Santa did have an official address, we'd still only have two memorized:

our own home address

and

P. Sherman

42 Wallaby Way

Sydney

I saw this somewhere - on a blog, maybe, or floating around Facebook - but I can't remember where! Apologies if I stole it from you, and holler if you know the origin, please.

Have you entered the (500) Posts of Betsy Transatlantically GIVEAWAY yet?

December's Best Diary Fail

2011-12-10T20:50:00.001Z

Remember when I said that today was going to be manic? Well, it was - but very much not in a glamorous way at all. Clearly I forgot to look at my diary when I wrote up yesterday's Frock Fridays!

The past week has been totally hectic and so I let myself sleep in this morning, which was glorious, but once I left the house all was go-go-go until I got back a few hours ago: Jon and I did some Christmas shopping for his trickier relatives and then I headed into work to host a special event for our donors. On my way back home, I got lost in John Lewis while trying to find holiday decorations for my flat; however, sparkly things were successfully discovered and so the early part of the evening was spent stringing ornaments on thread and hammering hooks into walls and simmering minestrone and making dough for more gingersnaps. I had been asked to babysit tonight, and so I'm now curled up on the couch in my landlords' house - and dashing back into my kitchen every 12 minutes to rotate trays of cookies in and out of the oven - with a cup of tea on the floor, the Christmas radio station playing on last.fm, and the winter/holiday issues of four online shelter magazines ( un / deux / trois / quatre ) open on my laptop.

Heaven.

There really is something about hunkering down in the winter dark, isn't there? Something primal that makes us want to nest. The sun is setting soon after 4pm, the temperatures are firmly in the single digits, and the bare branches of the trees are clattering together; Mother Nature isn't waiting until the solstice to start the season. All we want, truly, is to be comfortably inside, saying things like, "My, isn't it windy out there!"

I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend, and that you're settled and warm, too. See you at my concert tomorrow! (And don't forget to enter the GIVEAWAY...)

Frock Fridays

2011-12-09T10:01:00.004Z

There is simply too much to do this weekend to worry about costume changes - I'm pretty sure that whatever gets thrown on when I wake up on tomorrow morning is going to have to take me through to the wee hours of Saturday night - or is that Sunday morning? (Make sure to change accessories creatively and reapply deodorant religiously and you'll be fine. Trust me.) I'm thinking that this JCrew Jules dress will hit all the right buttons...

[ for day : mascara / lipstick / bag / earrings / tights / flats ]

[ for night : eyelashes / compact / clutch / necklace / booties ]

And if your plans are still only pencilled into your diary, allow me to make a few suggestions for the weekend:

- check off your gift list on a traffic-free Oxford Street
- twirl on the ice rink at Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland
- laugh at the best and the worst of a classic Office Party
- soak up the season at my carols concert at St. George's Church

Yep, that last agenda item was a shameless plug! One of my wonderful choirs, Quorum, is singing a beautiful concert of Christmas carols (both traditional and reimagined) on Sunday at 6pm in Bloomsbury. The concert is in aid of Shelter, and tickets are £5 on the door. Please do come along if you're free - it'll be a lovely way to get into the Christmas spirit while winding down from the weekend.

Have you entered the (500) Posts of Betsy Transatlantically GIVEAWAY yet?

(500) Posts of Betsy Transatlantically!

2011-12-08T08:11:00.014Z

Dear readers, we've made it: we've made it to 500 posts. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night - wait, no, that's the motto of the United States Postal Service. My bad. But, truly, this is a milestone that I hope you will celebrate with me. It's been 21 months of journeys through visa frustrations (to be revisited in the coming months, bee tee dubs), voyages across the Atlantic (and back, several times), adventures in making a new home (or two, so far), and much love and many new experiences and even more of all of the above to come, and you've been here by my side all the way.

via

In honor of this momentous occasion, I'm going to have a giveaway! But before we get to the good stuff, you're going to have to suffer through some stats. (If this surprises you, let me point you to this post, which perfectly illustrates my nerdiness.) Say hello some interesting facts about your fellow readers:

A surprising number of you have come to this blog in search of pictures of Taylor Swift and her collection of dresses. Many also are trying to find information on the Oxford comma. Some are hoping for an image of a glamorous Christmas tree. And - my favorite detail in this section - a few have wandered by looking for Arthur.

You've gotten here via Google, by and large, but you're a global crowd, surfing in on seven different Google sites. In fact, you're even more transatlantically-minded than I am: the bulk of my visitors come from the US, the UK, Australia, Canada, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Russia, India, and the Philippines.

But wherever you come from and for whatever reason you are here, please let me welcome you as enthusiastically as I can from behind a screen and please let me say thank you for accompanying me as encouragingly as you can from behind a screen.

Therefore! I present to you this blog's second giveaway, which - I have no doubt - will bring much joy to the lucky winner.

How do you win, you ask? I will tell you. First make sure you're an official follower of Betsy Transatlantically and then leave a comment on this post telling me to which new country you'd move, if you could, and what three things you'd bring with you to make you feel at home. On 24 December I will pick a random entry and will announce the winner as an early Christmas present.

What is the prize, you ask? I will tell you. The giveaway features a canvas Keep Calm and Carry On shopper that will be filled with English and/or London-themed goodies. (The nature of the treats inside will depend on the country of residence of the winner; I don't think HMRC will appreciate me trying to send perishables overseas!)

Good luck, and again, thank you!

Bawstuhn

2011-12-07T11:44:00.002Z

Apologies for taking so long to post this recap of our trip to Boston over Thanksgiving, but we've only just recovered because this is what our weekend in Beantown was like:

Sike. Jon would have loved to get into a bare-knuckle fight with some kids whose ancestors shipped over from Ireland 150 years ago, but the wildest thing we did was head to a sports bar on Monday night for artery-clogging food and watched the Patriots play Kansas City. (Thanks to my sister Sarah, my lovely English boyfriend can probably now explain the rules of football better than me.) Anyway. The trip:

flying into Logan

We arrived early Saturday afternoon after an easy flight; we hopped into a taxi at the airport (I was loving the exchange rate since I get paid in pounds sterling!) and went straight to Sarah's apartment in the beautiful Beacon Hill neighborhood. We walked around for a while - oh, hello, Senator Kerry - and I drooled over the narrow streets and elegant townhouses. I mean, wouldn't you?

After a quick stop at the swishest Starbucks I have ever seen, where I conducted a highly scientific survey to determine that chai lattes taste better when you pay $3 instead of £3 for them, we wandered through Boston Common. Sarah told us that it was called a common because it used to be shared land where the people could graze their sheep; Jon and I were like, "Well, duh. We had those first. Copycat."

We indulged in some window shopping on Newbury Street and, after a few hours, returned to Sarah's apartment to recuperate from our strenuous day of walking around. (What? Boston is very vertical!) Sarah borrowed some of our jetlag, and so we arranged a perfect night in: Upper Crust pizza and the Food Network. Jon and I were asleep by 9:03pm.

On Sunday morning, we treated Sarah and her roommate Erin to brunch at the Beacon Hill Hostel Bistro (dear Lord, I thank you for providing me with a real American brunch where eggs Benedict is not the only option on the menu) and then Jon and I ventured off to follow the Freedom Trail. (Every time Jon made a snarky comment about walking on the "freedom street" or looking at a "freedom church," I sang the theme song from Team America: World Police. After all, as our 43rd president taught us: if you're not with us, you're against us.) Actually, we had a lovely day and it was a great walk; the weather cooperated absolutely and it was nice to discover a new city together.

Following Erin's suggestion, we hit up the seaport for our date night. We stopped first for a drink at Temazcal and then enjoyed dinner at Legal Harborside where I ate the best lobster roll of my entire life.

We headed off early on Monday morning to see the Degas show at Boston's Museum of Fine Arts, which was breathtaking in its exquisite beauty and developmental scope. His pastel La Toilette was my favorite and I'd love to find a print of it:

Our next adventure was on the MBTA, where a tram ate my $20, which took us to Cambridge. We went to a very upscale tavern for lunch and then walked around town for a while. I was surprised that we weren't allowed onto the Harvard campus, as I never remember having had a problem wandering around the quad before, but maybe campus security was antsy because of the obvious Occupy tents dotting the lawn.

For our last evening in Boston, Sarah took us out for wings and burgers and beer and to watch the Pats game - America, [expletive] yeah! The next morning, we headed south...

Thank You, Targé

2011-12-06T13:14:00.000Z

First, let me apologize for this past weekend's radio silence. (I had pre-scheduled yesterday's post - gosh, I am impressive - so technically I haven't blogged since Friday. I've been going through withdrawal. Thank you, but I don't want to talk about it; these things are very personal, you know.) Anyway, the moral of the story is that your hair product does not belong anywhere near your contact case. If you don't believe me, try it: I promise you'll be afflicted with your very own eye infection which will leave you unable to function as is your general wont, and this includes interacting with your computer in a meaningful way. However, I am now on the mend and think that my eyes deserve to be rewarded for their misery by being trained upon some pretty things - namely, stationery.

While in DC for Thanksgiving, I made a pilgrimage to Target. (Raise your hand if you're surprised. No? Yeah.) Jon compared Target to Tesco Extra - yes, he was blessed to join me on my spiritual journey to this holy site - but it's so much more than that. Basically, it's heaven with a check-out counter. But who knew that they had such cute stationery?

Don't be surprised if I write you a thank-you note this season even if you haven't sent me a gift - I just won't be able to help myself!

Monday Laugh

2011-12-05T08:45:00.000Z

'Tis the season... for ugly sweater parties, which is absolutely a Thing That White People Like:

via

I've actually never been to one, but my sister is a regular on the ugly-sweater-party circuit, and she has given me special permission to share this photo from her sophomore year of college. Please note the added bonus ironic whiteness of the religiously aware sign; Sarah explains that, at the time the picture was taken, she was the only Jew at the party, making her a mobile Jew corner.

Frock Fridays

2011-12-02T09:03:00.000Z

I'm going to do a whole "Hey, It's Okay" post at some point in the doldrums of blogging, but let's start with this one...

Hey, it's okay if your winter wardrobe is basically your summer wardrobe plus long-sleeved shirts, cardigans, and thick socks/tights.

via

I Know It When I See It

2011-11-30T23:02:00.001Z

(I want to preface this post with the disclaimer that, while I'm desperate for women to have the legal rights and the social freedom to do whatever they want, I'm not generally a rabid feminist. I mean, yesterday's post espoused cooking pot pie for your man to make him happy, so I think we can all agree that my stance on sexual equality is, at best, confused.)

You all know, dear readers, that I'm a Democrat; this blog doesn't try to hide my liberal leanings. Just in case you were still wondering, though, I took a very thorough test to determine where on the social and economic spectrum I might fall in comparison to some contemporary world leaders. To be honest, I expect to be placed much closer to the center though still in the same quadrant, but apparently I actually overlap almost exactly with the Dalai Lama. (In order to put myself on the chart I had to cover up his dot to make room for my star - oops.)

I also will admit that I've sort of gone to town in mocking this current crop of Presidential hopefuls from the Republican party. My intention has been to poke fun gently rather than maliciously and I hope I've been successful because I don't want to insult or alienate anyone. However, the latest story to come out of the nominating race has offended and outraged me so deeply that I feel compelled to take up my pen.

Herman Cain has been dodging accusations of sexual harassment for the past few weeks from several women who worked for him while he led the National Restaurant Association; he has consistently denied having engaged in any inappropriate behavior and, though his poll numbers have slipped in part as a result of these allegations, he is still one of the leading contenders for the Republican nomination. The possibility that these stories are true has not dampened his supporters' faith in him.

However, earlier this week a woman named Ginger White claimed to have had an extramarital affair with Cain that lasted for thirteen years. He denies it, of course, saying that their relationship was purely platonic, but it is this latest scandal that is causing conservatives to question his suitability and is sending his supporters running for the hills:

The allegation is one that could upend his presidential campaign... I think this is the most damaging allegation that has been made to date. No question about it.
- Former Governor Mike Huckabee

[The latest accusations] created doubt in people's minds whether or not another shoe will drop.
- Fox News host Sean Hannity

Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota said the accusations raised urgent questions about his conservative convictions.
- The New York Times

I cannot grasp an ideology in which allegations of an extramarital affair are more damaging than those of sexual harassment. I cannot comprehend a belief system in which adultery is worse than assault. I cannot fathom a code of morality in which it is acceptable to force unwanted attention on a woman but unacceptable to cheat on your wife. The above assessments from Huckabee, Hannity, and Bachmann might be rooted in a social contract or religious covenant with which I am not familiar, and I do acknowledge that everyone has his/her own opinions and I certainly don't expect us all to always agree. But I simply cannot understand a philosophy in which the possibility of harassment pales in comparison to the possibility of an extramarital affair.

Beyond my disbelief that these views are not only held but are broadcasted by people in the public eye, I am concerned about the message that this sends to those who are in vulnerable positions and/or are susceptible to sexual harassment - which could be, if we're honest, many of us in one way or another.

A recent ABC/WashPost study revealed that a quarter of American women have experienced sexual harassment in the workplace (compared to 1 in 10 men). Only 36% of the women polled who had been harassed reported it to their employer; of those who didn't report, 31% said it was because it didn't seem important enough, 14% said it wouldn't do any good, and 18% were concerned about the consequences. If we send the message that sexual harassment is not a big deal, it will become more prevalent while decreasing further the percentage of victims willing to accuse their harassers.

Look, I get that everyone has a different definition of sexual harassment, but as Justice Potter said of pornography, I know it when I see it. Often these instances hinge on pre-established relationships and circumstances; many of my colleagues and I banter in a way that could be construed by an outsider as harassment but which is, to us, familiar and even comfortable. But this should in no way detract from those cases in which women (and men) feel abused or taken advantage of by someone more powerful. These situations must be taken seriously and followed through appropriately.

We live in a world where, as was discovered in a recent study by the American Association of University Women, 48% of American children in grades 7-12 experienced sexual harassment in the last school year; 56% of girls and 40% percent of boys surveyed said that they had been sexually harassed verbally, physically, or electronically. Of those who said they had been sexually harassed, 9% reported it to someone in authority at school, 27% talked about it with a family member, and 23% discussed it with a friend, while half did not tell anyone about the harassment at all. 95% of those who identified as harassers had themselves been sexually harassed.

In light of all of these figures, it cannot be emphasized enough that sexual harassment exists and that it is unacceptable. Leaders in every sphere of influence need to recognize that sexual harassment is a big deal - that it can hugely negatively affect the victims and that allegations must therefore be responded to appropriately. If we sweep accusations of sexual harassment under the rug, we give our implicit consent for it to continue and even for it to become more casual and common.

I cannot believe that this needs to be enunciated, but if we must say this because it is not already accepted let us do so loud and clear so that even the powerful can hear and and understand that sexual harassment is wrong and that those who are guilty of sexually harassing others must face the consequences of their actions.

The Way To A Man's Heart

2011-11-29T21:51:00.001Z

I started drafting a post on Boston yesterday but then I bribed Jon to come to my house for dinner with the promise of yummy comfort food and so I decided that what you all are really missing in your lives is a few pointers on...

the way to a man's heart

which is

as it turns out

primarily but not exclusively

through his stomach

Now, I'm not an expert on this sort of thing. I've got a boyfriend, sure, and I think he's generally pretty happy to be with me, but my other qualifications are along the lines of "I'd want this if I were a guy" and "I'd be happy to walk next to a man who had this." If you think that these are solid credentials, keep reading!

Jon and I are saving up for a holiday in the Scottish Highlands in mid-February (yes, we're totally crazy) and so decided to keep any gifts we give each other relatively low-key and low-cost. However, if I were to buy him real presents with my imaginary limitless checkbook, I'd respect his request to only receive useful items that he can wear. It sounds pretty boring, but I approached it as a challenge - and I discovered that "useful" and "gorgeous" are not mutually exclusive. Look what I found:

Burberry Shearling Collar Biker Jacket

Tiffany Notes square cufflinks

Paul Smith Plum Trainers

Hermès Pois de Croix tie

If your budget doesn't stretch to these sort of goodies - Lord knows mine doesn't - you can always go the DIY route and cook something delicious for your man. For example, you could copy me (go ahead, I don't mind) and make the absolutely amazing and oh-so-easy chicken pot pie that I created last night.

image via SmittenKitchen, which also has an excellent (but more complicated) recipe

Chicken Pot Pie

makes four servings

500g chicken breast, diced

2 tbs butter

250g chestnut mushrooms, sliced

4 carrots, chopped

2 sticks celery, chopped

1 small onion, chopped

1/2c frozen peas

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 tsp garlic powder

puff pastry (I used a 375g piece but the size you need will depend on the dish you use)

salt, pepper, olive oil

Season the chicken with salt and pepper and sauté in a little bit of olive oil until cooked through. Set chicken aside and clean out the pan. Melt the butter in the pan and sauté the onion until translucent; add the mushrooms, carrots, and celery and cook until soft, stirring frequently. Mix in the peas and keep on the heat for a further two or three minutes.

In the meantime, flour a work surface as well as a rolling pin (I used a wine bottle, natch) and roll out the puff pastry until thin. Butter the inside of a casserole dish and lay the puff pastry inside, leaving enough dough on the edges to cover the pot pie.

Pour the chicken and the vegetables into a big bowl and add the soup, combining well. Mix in the garlic powder and add salt and pepper to taste. Pour the mixture into the pastry-lined casserole dish and fold the edges of the dough over the top, sealing as possible. (Possible supreme additional step: grate Manchego over the top of the pot pie.)

Cook the pot pie in the oven at 200*c for 40 minutes or until the top is golden. Let cool a bit, then ladle into bowls and enjoy!

Monday Laugh

2011-11-28T11:41:00.001Z

Of all the viral videos floating about on the interwebs, this is one of the most beautiful and creative that I have seen in a long time. It just goes to show that we all have dreams, and that a little imagination will help us achieve the impossible.

Home Sweet Christmas Season

2011-11-27T18:31:00.000Z

Sloane Square, November 2011

I have returned to SW12, dear readers, and I truly loved being in the States with my family and friends for Thanksgiving but it must be admitted that I'm ready to start the festive season in London. Since I got back to my flat via Heathrow this morning, I have been playing the Michael Bublé Christmas album on repeat; when I went to Sainsbury's this afternoon to restock my fridge, I picked up an obnoxiously red poinsettia - I love Christmas trees in other people's houses but feel some classic Old Testament guilt about having one in my own, though obviously this will have to be readdressed next year when Jon and I are shacking up again - plus everything I need to make gingersnaps, and tomorrow's lunch mission will be to find some lovely fairy lights and perhaps even the materials to craft one of Martha's wreaths for my front door. The Christmas spirit is upon us!

You'll get a full recap of my holiday later on in the week; I'm still a bit woozy from jetlag (I slept for the first three hours of the flight but then got distracted by the selection of movies, though to be honest I didn't think that The Help lived up to the hype) and so there's no way you'd read anything coherent if I tried to write at the moment.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday or, if you're not American, a lovely late-November weekend. Onward and upward to December!

Sketch at Hampstead: Evening (Constable, October 1820)

(By the way, I read all three books of The Hunger Games trilogy in two and a half days while in DC. There's a word I'm looking for to describe how I feel about them - it may be "obsessed" or possibly "fanatic," and even though I wasn't crazy about the last book the excitement of diving into the world of Panem in the first two more than made up for the anti-climactic ending. Yes, I love Young Adult fantasy novels. Judge me. Extra by the way, did you hear that Anne McCaffrey died? I went through a huge dragon-related literature phase when I was a teenager because of her. Thank goodness the torch is being passed on, though, I guess.)

Frock Fridays

2011-11-25T10:21:00.003Z

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I can say: with the holidays approaching, we are in the full swing of party season. I've already found myself in front of my wardrobe - and by "wardrobe" I mean "open clothes rack in the corner of the room" - wondering what to wear to all sorts of outings. Shindigs with colleagues, gatherings with family, soirées with friends...

I think that if I had this DVF frock, I'd be set for anything my social calendar might throw at me.

via

Anyone fancy buying me an early Hannukah present? Thanks.

Being Thankful

2011-11-24T12:26:00.012Z

Unlike last year, I wasn't really that nervous about coming back to the States for Thanksgiving in the run-up to this trip. I think to a large extent it's because last year I felt that I had to prove something. I felt that I had to prove that I had made the right choice in moving to London, that I was happy in my new life, that I didn't regret anything. This year, although I'm really not too much older or wiser, I now know that, as Maya Angelou wrote, "You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody."

Part of what brought that axiom home was my break-up and subsequent reconciliation with Jon, but a lot of it was also the trip to Berlin with my friend Christian. I didn't really talk about the end of the holiday on this blog and I will maintain that confidence out of respect for the relationship that we shared, but I will say that what happened - the choices I made and Christian's actions in response - taught me a valuable lesson about friendship. Because of these two incidents, I feel that I have to own up to myself in a way that really is new to me; I feel that I have to accept that I have made mistakes and I have to learn from them and, inevitably, I have to move on.

To that end, while the things I am thankful for this season are relatively rote, I have a new and active appreciation for them:

I am thankful for my family, who cheer me through my adventures and who support me through my misadventures.

with Sarah in Boston, 2011

I am thankful for Jon, whose enduring faith in me outlasts my own doubt in myself and whose love sustains my soul.

with Jon in London, 2010

I am thankful for my friends, who look past my insecurities to understand my heart and who create a home for me wherever they are.

with JHo and Stins in DC, 2008

And I am thankful to all of you, who follow me on this journey and who challenge me to be accountable and true.

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may you enjoy the peace that lives in active appreciation.

Holiday Traveling in Style

2011-11-23T14:56:00.003Z

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, dear readers! Are you ready? I hope you're all packed and prepared - unless, of course, you're indulging like Danielle with family in and meals out. (Lunch cooked by a Wolseley-trained chef? Yes, please!) However you're celebrating the holiday, I wish that your stress levels will be low and your bliss high. I for one have sworn not to call my office while I'm away, although my track record is pretty bad as it's slightly a little bit possible that I rang them while in DC last year...

via

If you're suffering the indignities of transatlantic travel - we flew American Airlines, where the stewardesses were grumpy, the hot lunch left a lot to be desired, and the TV screens were communal rather than personal - remember the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

In this spirit, I feel that the best way to travel is with lashings of style. If I could, I'd invest in a few gorgeous timeless pieces that would take me across the ocean and back for years.

I'd need a huge Mulberry suitcase that I could check; it would have to be flexible enough to allow me to cram in more pairs of shoes than I'd actually need but sturdy enough to withstand being thrown around the baggage carousel...

I'd need a large Longchamp weekender that I could carry on the plane; it would have to be the perfect size not only to bring on long trips but also to serve as my main bag for shorter jaunts and would need to fold up easily when not in use...

I'd need a roomy but structured Céline purse that could fit the essentials plus a laptop; it would have to be eye-catching enough not to get lost under the seat in front of me but conservative enough to match any outfit I might choose...

And then, if I had a little change left over, I'd splurge on a monogrammed pink Smythson passport case. I mean, why not?

After all, if you have to shlep, you might as well look good doing it.

My Mini Thanksgiving

2011-11-22T10:48:00.010Z

Two weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to cook my own Thanksgiving meal. I'm delighted that I'm back at my parents' house for the holiday, but, as an aspirational nester, I'm really looking forward to the day when I can offer to host Thanksgiving for my family. It's never too early to start practicing, I thought, and so I invited some friends over and prepared a mini festive feast.

Let me tell you, dear readers: while the supermarkets always carry turkey mince and some pieces of the bird, it is impossible to get the real thing in early November without pre-ordering it especially. (The Brits traditionally eat turkey for Christmas dinner, so it's available in the run-up to 25 December but not so much before.) Even though I only wanted a breast, I lacked the foresight to realize this, and so called three butcher shops before finding one. There was success at the end (5.5lbs of it!) but this is definitely something I'll take into consideration next time to minimize stress.

The menu was relatively simple, actually, and was designed to let us linger over our wine. We started with a mushroom and Stilton pizza (or two) that was based roughly off this recipe. The mains were turkey breast crammed with stuffing, roasted garlic brussels sprouts, and cauliflower cheese (which is such an English dish but I was having a yearning so I included it anyway; basically, it's cauliflower cooked in a béchamel sauce). Dessert was cheese with my new sweet staple, chocolate chip biscotti.

The one bit of this meal that made me anxious was the stuffing, which I've never made before. I've heard so many horror stories about serving bone-dry stuffing - or worse, potentially killing your guests with undercooked stuffing...

I did a lot of research online; every celebrity chef seems to have his or her own particular recipe for stuffing (Ina, Jamie, the Neelys, etc.) but in the end I decided to make my own by following a template I found on the Food Network website. It was a huge hit, of course!

Sausage and Sage Stuffing

Brown .5kg sausage meat (I used one that had caramelized red onions in it) in 6 tbs butter over medium heat in a heavy dutch oven. Add two cups each diced onions and celery and 1 tbs each minced sage and thyme plus salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring frequently to dislodge the bits on the bottom, for five minutes. Pour in three cups chicken broth and bring to a simmer.

Meanwhile, beat two eggs with 1/4c chopped parsley in a bowl. Add 16 cups cubed stale bread (I crumbled 14 toasted dinner rolls for this) and let soak in the egg mixture until the broth has simmered. Mix the breadcrumbs/eggs/parsley with the broth; combine well. Dot the top of the stuffing with pats of butter. Cover and bake at 190*c (375*f) for 30 minutes. Then either stuff the turkey and cook according to the turkey recipe or uncover and bake 30 more minutes until golden (I did both, as there was more stuffing than the breast could hold).

Nom, for real. Is it bad that I might make this again even without turkey? Because it's probably going to happen.

Monday Laugh

2011-11-21T16:41:00.011Z

Many of my expat friends in the UK are hosting their own Thanksgiving meals or are going to communal feasts with other American compatriots. Others are heading back to the States, returning to their parents or to their extended families. Wherever you're planning to go this Thursday, you probably shouldn't arrive empty-handed...

via

I've been told to prepare for my mother's Thanksgiving extravaganza by emailing her requests for my favorite foods - hello, roasted sweet potatoes! - but I'm definitely going to bring my best sous-chef skills, too. How about you?

Thanksgiving in London

2011-11-20T16:57:00.006Z

Hello from Boston! Jon and I had lots of fun on the flight over trying to talk as if we were in The Departed - I mean, The Depahted. I'm pretty sure we annoyed the hell out of the guy sitting next to us. I think my blogging plan for this week will be to focus on Thanksgiving; I'll tell you all about my trip home once I've returned. (Hindsight is 20/20, they say, so you'll get a clearer view. The things I do for you, dear readers!)

Norman Rockwell, 1942

Therefore! Thanksgiving. And to start - although I'm currently in the land of the free and the home of the brave - let's talk about Thanksgiving in London. What's an expat to do when work or finances or other obligations keep her in that green and pleasant land across the Atlantic? Luckily, there are options available to you, o wanderer-who-is-far-from home. I've picked out three equally amazing yet incredibly different possibilities for you:

You could head to Bea's of Bloomsbury for a communal feast priced at £45 per person (plus £15 for an unlimited drink ticket). Their savory food is just as amazing and creative as their cakes, so check it out if you want a slightly indie and boutique Thanksgiving experience.

Or you could make a reservation at Hix at the Albemarle. The classiest choice of these three, the restaurant has a special set menu for £49.50 per person (not including drinks) and is the place to go if you want white tablecloths and an impressive winelist.

If you're jonesing for a a down-and-dirty celebration of everything America holds dear, book your spot at Bodean's BBQ all-day feast. The screens will be tuned to NFL from 5:30pm - for £20.95 per person, this is your spot if you want a gloriously collegiate five-napkin experience.

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Of course, if you're a homebody the truly perfect option is to head to Whole Foods to pick up containers of your favorite culinary bits of Thanksgiving; sometimes the best way to appreciate what you have is by curling up on the couch and watching reruns of The Inbetweeners over a cardboard box of tryptophan and a bottle of red. (I swear I'm not judging you. Actually, this sounds sort of ideal.)

Much love to all back in London, and remember: even if you're working all week, it's technically a holiday from tomorrow through Friday if you're American , so take it easy.

Homeward Bound

2011-11-19T10:59:00.009Z

So long, England. Hello, America!

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Boston: Saturday-Monday

New York City: Tuesday

Washington, DC: Wednesday-Saturday

Frock Fridays - Versace for H&M

2011-11-18T10:58:00.003Z

I'm loving the current craze for designers to create capsule collections for high street shops. Although the prices are more affordable than the couture lines, they're still often a bit out of my range, but they're close enough that I can dream and drool! (Hello, Roksanda Ilinic for Debenhams... would you like to be my friend?)

Yesterday the biggest and brightest of these collaborations launched in the UK: Versace for H&M. Women were apparently queuing for hours to guarrantee they'd snag their chosen pieces from the store on Regent Street. (You can access the collection on the H&M website, but I only got through once out of the eight times I tried because the web traffic is so out of control.)

Versace is a little too in-your-face for me - I know, gasp, I'm sorry; I'm clearly not a true fashionista - but if I could get away with wearing this studded leather number to the office I definitely would. Hey, I work in theatre - we're a creative industry!

Betsy Transatlantically

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Starter: Traditional cock-a-leekie soup

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Sweet: Clootie Dumpling or Typsy Laird

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Breakfast of Champions

I Want Candy

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Why I Moved to London (The First Time)

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An Injection of Color

This Might Call For Some Adele

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On Faith and Loss

LHR - JFK - IAD - LHR

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Hey, It's Okay

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Welcome, 2012!

TwoThousandEleven - TwoThousandTwelve

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Music for Christmas Eve

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Talk To Me, Harry Winston

Hanukkah Latkes

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Monday Laugh

Christmas Traditions

Deck The Halls

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Monday Laugh

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Frock Fridays

(500) Posts of Betsy Transatlantically!

Bawstuhn

Thank You, Targé

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Monday Laugh

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