Frock Fridays: Reunion

It's another long weekend for me, dear readers!  I took today off work to head up to New York for my five year college reunion.  (It's shaping up to be a busy day because I have my visa appointment in the morning and then a vet visit with Charlie at noon before my 2pm train.)  Reunion activities actually start on Thursday night - I guess that a lot of alums from my class stayed in the city after graduation - and there's a young alum party on Friday night that's billed as a repeat of Senior Week shenanigans.  But I can drink with the kids I want to see from college whenever I want (well, you know what I mean) and I'm not really excited about making the same inebriated small talk over and over again with everyone else, so instead I'm having dinner with a friend I haven't seen since London a year and a half ago.

On Saturday, I've signed up for a morning lecture and an afternoon class; the first will be given by Attorney General Eric Holder and the second is a continuation of one of our Core courses and we'll be discussing King Lear and government.  (Why yes, I am a total nerd!  Learning is FUNdamental, you know.)  In the evening, we have a wine tasting and then a cocktail reception followed by dinner and dancing under the stars in front of the library.  A bunch of friends have signed up for this, too, and, since we won't all be stuck on a boat with an open bar and there'll be a lot going on, it'll be a great chance to catch up with kids I liked in college but have since lost touch with in a totally escapable way.  I can't wait!

I've packed two outfits for Saturday night and I'm not sure yet which I'll wear, but if I had a blue frock like the one below... well, what better time to dress in school colors?  This would be a perfect outfit for the evening's activities.  If Reunion really is anything like Senior Week, the heels will be off by 9pm but the pashmina will keep me warm as the New York air cools and the skirt will be perfect for twirling.

Now, to remember the rest of our fight song...

(If you've been to any college reunions before, give me your suggestions for how to navigate everything gracefully!  I'm sure I'll need all the help I can get, especially once the champagne starts flowing.)

dress / pashmina / clutch / shoes / earrings / bracelet 

A Year of Long Distance, by Jon

Dear readers, tomorrow marks one year since I moved back to DC from London.  In honor of the anniversary, I asked Jon if he'd write a guest post for Betsy Transatlantically about what the past 364 days of long distance have been like for him.  You've heard about it from my side - here and here and here and here and here - but I was hoping he'd tell you a bit of how he feels about being in a long distance engagement (and, in less than three months, a long distance marriage).  Now, English boys are notoriously bad about feelings; you might be able to get them to admit that they have some, maybe, but convincing them to share those feelings is another matter entirely.  Add to that Jon's discomfort with blogging in general, and... well, I cried when I read the email he sent me.

Jon, I love you.  We've made it through a year and we can handle whatever else we have to - in the end, it will all be worth it to be together.

Skyping on a Saturday; 8am EST, 1pm BST

One thing I know about myself is that I truly dislike the experience of typing on a screen - it somehow just seems wrong to scrabble around on a shiny, unresponsive flat surface trying to string together something approximating a sentence, let alone a meaningful one. It's probably why I have a mortal aversion (except at times of desperate need) to Twitter, Facebook and anything else that requires me to share information about myself using a touchscreen. The number of times I just want to talk, not to a screen or to a phone, but to the person I love, can feel overwhelming.

To that end I am probably the worst individual imaginable to enter into a long distance relationship with in the 21st century - one that is based largely, out of necessity, on WhatsApp messaging, and I am truly grateful and amazed that Betsy has put up with it and me so well for as long as she has. We both make the best of whatever forms of communication we have at our disposal - we Skype whenever we can, generally late at night for me (when I'm trying not to be sleepy) and early in the evening for her (when Charlie really really needs a walk). I miss her every day and we will get through the rest of this together, even if we're both currently plonked on either side of the Atlantic. Yet regardless of whatever challenges there are still to come, I really do think that things only get better from here. We're over halfway through this now and the rest should pretty much be a doddle. It's not like anyone was ever really challenged by organising a wedding (with the bride out of the country!), navigating the transatlantic visa process or moving to a new country, right?

Actually, I truly do believe that all of those things, while of course vital, are not as important in our long-distance relationship as it is to take the time to talk about the day-to-day stuff, the seemingly trivial stuff, the silly stuff that couples who see each other every day don't even think about because it's just there. One thing I think we've learnt is that it can become tempting, when every conversation is time-limited, to focus on the Big Stuff, the things that need talking about, that need doing, the life-changing decisions. Of course those discussions need to happen, but we also try to make time to just talk (or in my case sometimes drunkly ramble beside my iPad, as is my wont), when it doesn't matter that much what's being said, just that it is. That's sometimes more difficult than it sounds, and so when Betsy and I are finally together again, it's one of the things I'm looking forward to the most. I really love you Betsy, and I want to listen everything you have to say for as long as you want to say it, even your "interrupting starfish" joke.

Wedding Wednesday: I'd Like The Kate, Please

Hi! Thanks for squeezing me in. I know you don’t have a ton of time, but I just wanted to give you a few notes on how I’d like to look on my big day. I’ve got something kind of specific in mind.

No, actually, there really isn't much more to say about my wedding hairstyle than this post title. (But do click on that link and read the whole article - I was cringing with shame on behalf of all brides for an hour after I finished!)  Basically, I'd like the Kate, please, but sure, since you asked, I'll expand on that:

I almost always wear my hair half-up, and I definitely want to feel like me on my wedding day - me, but me plus, which is why I'll be having someone* do my hair professionally.  When I get a blow-dry, which I can't do successfully by myself, I specifically ask for it to have volume and life; I don't like pin-straight hair (on me) and start to hyperventilate when I see a flat-iron.  Honestly, I'd probably just go for bounce rather than styled waves if my wedding day were just about me, but Jon likes my hair curly and I want to be the most beautiful me according to both of us when we get married.  So I'll have the Kate, please!  (And yes, there will be bling.  More on that next week!)

from left: 1 / 2 / 3 / source unknown; it's Kate Middleton and the image is everywhere! help?

*The one detail I haven't yet secured for my wedding is a hairdresser for myself, Sarah, and Ellie, and the six women in the area I've contacted so far are already booked on our date.  If anyone has a recommendation (specifically in Suffolk, Norfolk, or Cambridgeshire, but I'll bring someone out from London if I have to) that you're comfortable passing on, I'd be supremely grateful!

New Apartment: Living Room and Bedroom

what my bed usually looks like after Charlie has gotten comfortable

Finally, dear readers, we're picking up the house tour again! I'm glad we waited because, in the two weeks since my last post from the tour, my mother brought over a chair from her house and I bought a vacuum. Charlie seems to produce a new dog in shed fur every week - which was the inspiration for Charlie Lives Here - so I feel like I'm in a brand new home all over again after this weekend's clean! (By the way, if you want an inexpensive but totally functional vacuum that deals well with pet hair, I recommend this one from Eureka that we got at Sears.) But, as I noted in part two of the tour, this apartment is still in progress. I've lived here for nearly six weeks now, and every detail still isn't in place; one drawer of the dresser is missing its knobs because of a problem with the drill, artwork isn't yet hung, I haven't figured out what to do the disguise/hide all of the wires under the TV stand... you get the idea. Obviously I'd like to have moved into a finished apartment, but that's just not how it happens in real life, even when you're working with a small space. So let's explore the way things really are, shall we? Welcome back to my home!

If you stand in my dining room with your back to the clock, you'll be facing into the living room with the wall of windows to your right.  The living room and bedroom are technically two halves of the same space, but I've put a real effort to making them feel distinct.  So let's start, shall we?

(By the way, this is the part where I apologize again for my photos. When I figure out how to do lighting and editing and other mad photography skillz, you'll be the first to know.)

As I go through these photos and identify each piece, I'm actually surprised by how few of them I bought.  I felt like I've been hemorrhaging money for the past two months, but it seems I owe my parents (ad my late grandmother) a bigger thank-you for their generosity than I realized!  The mission chair next to the couch came from my parents' house and used to be in their bedroom, the end table in the corner was in my father's study, and the standing lamp lived in the basement for years.  The ottoman came from my grandmother's apartment; the couch was a hand-me-down from Little B.  (Charlie and I appreciate it very much!)  You can see Charlie's bed to the left of the couch as you're facing it - his toys are never not scattered around the whole place, but I piled them together for these photos - and, if you come into the living room and turn around, you'll be facing the TV which, along with the cart it's on and the two chairs on either side, all came from Grandma's apartment.

The rug seems to have been your favorite piece in my apartment!  (No one told me that new rugs pill like crazy when you first get them, so heads up...)  It's the Keno Linked Trellis Slate Rug from RugsUSA and I bought it for $190.62 at 60% off.  The pillows on the couch are from Target and were $25 each on clearance; they're no longer available but I was also thinking about getting two of this style.  The tray is Threshold from Target, too, and was also on clearance and isn't on the website anymore.  Can you tell I have a serious crush on this new line?  I'd go trawl through the aisles every other weekend when I was getting ready to move, looking for rogue pieces on clearance.  (Fortunately for my wallet, I've stopped this habit.)

If you still have your back to the couch and you turn to the right, you'll find the bookcase in front of you and, beyond that, the bedroom.  My first instinct was to buy a 4x4 Expedit to serve as the divider, but I'm glad I found this one, which is actually two $39.89 ClosetMaid Cubeicals from Target, before I went to Ikea.  (The two cloth boxes in the Cubeicals, $5.99 each, are from the same line and come in lots of different colors.) I wanted the Expedit because I liked how you could see straight through the shelves, which would allow light into the bedroom from the living room windows and make everything seem much more open and airy while still partitioning off the bedroom, but I like the ClosetMaid bookshelves because they have the same effect while being much less bulky.

So, on to the bedroom!

You've probably seen a million Instagrams similar to that top photo but with a squishy dog demonstrating how comfortable the bed is!  It really is unbelievably comfortable, which was a gamble because I bought it all - the mattress, box spring, and frame - for $150 off Craigslist.  (Nana, it's fine.  The bed is safe.  It's the best bed I've ever slept in.)  The duvet and pillow cases are the Alvine Kvist set from Ikea that all the cool kids have, apparently, and cost $29.99 and my mom made the knitted blue pillow.  Both "nightstands" are from my parents' attic; the one next to my side of the bed, with the door, is perfect for hiding a trash can, which Charlie would get into if it weren't shut away.  I do plan on replacing them eventually but they're ideal for now!  The two bedside lamps are also from Ikea and cost $19.99 each; I like their simplicity anyway but I also chose them because they match the standing lamp in the ling room.  And that adorable blue rug next to the bed is the Raquel Rug from The New Preppy, $29.99 on Joss and Main back in April.  The paint color of the accent wall, if you're wondering, is Benjamin Moore Grand Rapids 835.

Now, with your back to the bed you have the closet door on the right and, directly in front of you on right hand side of the wall, a chest that had lived in my childhood bedroom but was relegated to the basement a few years ago.  The dresser, on the left hand side of the wall in front of you, was a $40 Craigslist find that I spray painted with two cans of Rust-Oleum in Stone Gray.  I also added knobs from World Market that cost $3 each, but I had to get new screws for them because the ones they came with weren't long enough for the depth of the front of the drawers, proving that the dresser is not from Ikea!  The mirror on top of the dresser was also from my childhood bedroom.  Finally, the rug at the foot of the bed was $34.99 from Bed Bath and Beyond and matches the long rug in the hallway.

And there we have it!  You've now been through my whole house; if you missed them before, you can see the first and second parts of the tour here.  I'll be asking you for some decor help in the next week or so, if you don't mind - start thinking about the walls above the couch and to the left of the bed as you're facing it, if you want a jumpstart, as well as the entire entry room - but for now, welcome.  I hope you feel at home!

(By the way, Eliza's giving us a tour of her living room today, too, over at Case Study, so go check it out!)

To All Those Who Serve

photo taken May 25, 2013 outside my apartment building

Frock Fridays: Shore Whites

It's Memorial Day Weekend!  At this time last year, I was a week away from repatriating to the United States.  Can you believe I've been back for so long?  Not sure I can!  But it means that we're a year closer to my wedding and a year closer to being reunited with Jon for good.  Speaking of my wedding, I realized too late that I wasn't ready for Wedding Wednesday this week so, since we're officially allowed to wear whites as of this weekend, let's make this a Frock Fridays / Wedding Wednesday hybrid post again today.

My amazing sister and Maid of Honor has been emailing me about my American bachelorette party - yes, I'm having another one in London! - and I'm getting so excited about it even though she's keeping her cards close to the vest.  The main idea at the moment is to spend some time on the Eastern Shore, the spit of land split between Maryland and Virginia just below Delaware that divides the Chesapeake Bay from the Atlantic Ocean.  It's got lovely towns full of antique stores and bars right on the water, restaurants offering crab buffets so wonderfully overwhelming that you leave with Old Bay in your pores, and, of course, miles and miles of beaches.

I'd love to pack an outfit like this if we go out for the weekend: a breezy white sundress cinched with a braided brown leather belt, accessorized with chambray mini-wedge espadrilles and a nautically-striped tote and topped of with a vintage denim jacket for the cool evenings.  It would be perfect for a day on the shore!

Actually, these pieces would also be perfect for an early morning on the promenade in Saint Malo, France.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, head over to Le Petit Village, where I'm sharing the story of how international love blossomed one summer many years ago...

Edited: the bag I had originally included with this outfit was from Primark, and after receiving an incredibly thoughtful email from a reader (who will be named as soon as she gives me permission to do so!) reminding me about Primark's abysmal record when it comes to corporate social responsibility and human rights violations.  As much as I liked that bag, I like life more - so I've replaced it with another.  (I couldn't find anything horrible about Michael Kors, though it sounds like the company isn't actually very transparent in their practices, so I'll keep reading up on it.)  This is obviously a topic for a much longer blog post, but I do quickly want to thank that reader here for making me stop and think and change.

linking up with {long distance loving}

Can We Get A Round of Applause, Please?

A few weeks ago, I did an amazing thing - well, it was amazing for me - and tweeted about it.  It was one of those tweets that makes people who don't use social media feel really good about not using social media.  As I tweeted it, I could practically hear my dad asking, "but why does anyone care?"  But I got a ton of replies from people who all agreed that it was an amazing thing and that they felt amazing when they did it, too.  You want to know what it was?

I climbed the second longest escalator in the DC metro system.  That's right; I walked up all 212 feet of the escalator at the Bethesda station.

you know I don't use gifs often, so this is a big deal.

Dear readers, that's amazing.  But, when I got to the top, I wasn't greeted by a pep squad with tagboard posters and colorful pom poms and customized cheers.  I really think I should have been, don't you?  Actually, I know you do, because you tweeted back to me about it.  And that got me thinking... there are so many other things* like walking up escalators that we know we should do but rarely actually do do that, when we do do them, we feel we deserve a round of applause.  (Did you follow that?)  Here are my top five:

- not eating both servings of a meal when I make two (one to have for dinner that night and the other for lunch the next day)

- unsubscribing from mass emails instead of getting annoyed, deleting them, and telling myself that I'll unsubscribe next time

- drinking eight glasses of water in one day

- keeping a mini umbrella and a reusable bag in my purse at all times

- removing my make-up before I go to bed

*Just to clarify, this list is different from the list I keep of Grown Up Things I Do That I Really Want A Gold Star For Doing.  On that list are things like "setting the coffee-maker the night before" and "writing thank-you notes within a week of receiving presents" and "not waiting until every lightbulb in the apartment has died to buy more."  That list can be for another post, and I'll start taking suggestions for that one (or this one, if you have more ideas!) even though there's no way to beat the explanation of being a grown up on Hyperbole and a Half now.  Each comment will get a personalized ovation, I promise!

Charlie Lives Here

Okay, technically I'm supposed to publish part three of my home tour today to continue welcoming you to my new apartment, but I'm waiting for my mother to bring a chair over (thanks, Mom!) and I don't want to take more photos of the apartment without it.  I haven't done much to the space since these pictures were posted, so I'll wait until next week to blog about the living room and bedroom.  Is that okay?  But we can still talk about my new place!  And, to make up for the disappointment of the paused tour, let's check in with Charlie and what he thinks of the apartment.

Well, the good news is that it took a little while but he's right at home!  I mentioned before that we had been dealing with some separation anxiety at the beginning - this was actually an issue when we first brought him home to my parents' house in July, and he'd cry for half an hour after I left for work even though Dad was still home with him, so we did expect it after the move.  For that first weekend, he was almost never alone in the apartment.  Dad stayed with Charlie when Mom and I left to run errands, for the most part, but when my parents were gone I did try to acclimatize Charlie to the idea that I would always come back after leaving.  I'd go out without him for five or ten minutes at a time; sometimes I'd take a walk around the block and sometimes I'd just sit on the steps outside my apartment and listen to him cry.  It was heartbreaking!  But it had to be done.  And, of course, he'd go crazy with jumping and licking and whining when I returned.

By the Wednesday of that first week, though, he didn't cry at all when I left the house in the morning, and he didn't even get off the bed the following Monday when I went to work.  He's still more aggressively excited than I'd like when I come back, but at this point I think that's a failure of training on my part.

The biggest adjustment we had to make from a logistical standpoint for Charlie was actually during the day, while I was gone.  When I was living with my parents, my father would walk Charlie because he worked from home.  But Dad's schedule changed and he could no longer regularly commit to being responsible for Charlie which, actually, was part of the reason I decided to move when I did.  So, for the first week, I asked my friend Annie to come walk Charlie twice a day while I was at work.  Annie had stayed at my parents' house with Charlie while we were in England in April so I knew that Charlie was comfortable with her, and I thought it was important for him to see a familiar face in a new place at the beginning.  Also, I wanted him to have two walks between 9 and 5 because Charlie, like most dogs, can get a bit destructive when he's discombobulated.  I figured that the safest thing for my apartment while Charlie was adjusting was for him to get out as much energy as possible during the day!

I knew Annie was heading out of town after the first week, so I contacted a dog walking service that had been recommended by another dog-owner in the building.  Whit from Brighter Days came over to get to know Charlie and me on our first Thursday evening, and I was immediately comfortable with her.  (A few weeks earlier, I'd met another dog walker who had been referred by a friend of a friend in the neighborhood and it just didn't feel right.  I couldn't put my finger on why, but that was that!)  We arranged for her to come once a day Monday-Friday for a thirty-minute walk, and she actually already has clients in my building so I got a discount.  We ran into her on another walk the next day, and it was really wonderful to see how she interacted with other dogs - she clearly loves them, and I knew Charlie would be in good hands!

It's been great.  Charlie hasn't gotten into anything he shouldn't while I'm gone (and, needless to say, there haven't been any accidents) and Whit leaves the sweetest notes to tell me about things that happened on their walks.  Last week, as Charlie and I were heading out on our evening walk, we ran into Whit coming into the courtyard with another dog, and he was thrilled to see her - what more could I want?  I can't recommend Brighter Days enough if you're in NW DC and need a dog walker.

Actually, I can't recommend this area enough if you want to live in DC and you have a dog - it's the friendliest neighborhood!  Charlie makes at least one new friend (canine or human - he doesn't discriminate!) every time we go out.  We're also a five minute walk from a great dog park and a five minute walk from the trails in Rock Creek Park.  It's ideal.

If you can't tell from my Instagrams, this really is Charlie's apartment - I just live in it. He slept on my bed with me for the first week or so but now spends most nights on his bed just on the other side of the bookshelf.  He loves the couch so much that it takes seven sheets of a lint roller to get all the hair off. Don't worry; you're safe if you come over!  I clean regularly. (By the way, make sure to search for the comment left by "qualm" if you click on that link!)  He's made himself a little fort under the table with his toys.  He doesn't understand why I would shut myself in the bathroom without him.  And he knows the precise sound of the pantry door opening.

Charlie's a lot more vocal in this apartment than he was at my parents' house; I think it's because I talk directly to him much more than I did before because I usually don't have anyone else to talk to!  He's actually barking less than before, probably in part because he doesn't have direct access to squirrels or rabbits from a ground-floor vantage point, and it only took him a few days to realize that not every door closing in the building is someone coming to say hello or to attack us.  But we do have a lot more grumbling for attention, many more satisfied grunts, and more conversational whines.  That's okay, though, because he's the best company!

Charlie rolling down the hill behind my building last week after trying to scratch his back on the grass.
I had to cuddle him afterwards and explain how gravity works. Then we shared an apple as part of the lesson.

Lessons from Jon: Choose Love

via

On Thursday, we'll be exactly three months out from our wedding.  I'm really excited, obviously, but we're now down to the wire when it comes to the visa and license we need to get married in the UK.  I've also started preparing for the spousal visa that we'll apply for after the wedding so that Jon can live in the US with me.  It's a lot - there are a million details that need to be worked out, a million pieces that need to be coordinated, and a million loose ends that need to be tied up.  Obviously, because I'm taking the lead on everything, it's stressing me out.  And when I get stressed, I make sure that Jon is stressed too - after all, misery loves company.

We've had some bona fide arguments over how to manage the practical side of our wedding process, but we've also had our share of those frustrating fights where neither is right but neither can let go and the whole thing just escalates until, finally, there's some sort of metaphorical explosion over Skype and then a few horrible seconds (or minutes) of silence before apologies are muttered and, haltingly, accepted.

I don't hold grudges; usually, I'll have lost the motivation to be angry after just a few hours.  But, even after we've said our "sorry" and "I love you" peace-makings, I do need to be left alone to sulk/glower in my head for a little while in order for all the strong feelings to dissipate.  The more intensely I can let those emotions run loose, the faster they'll wear themselves out.

Jon doesn't work that way.  In his mind, once the apologies have been accepted, we can immediately snap back to being madly adoring of each other.  And, bless him, he doesn't accept that I have a hard time switching gears as quickly as he can.  He pleads, "Can't we just speak lovingly to each other?"  I resist as long as I can, because I'm stubborn and I want to wallow in feeling everything, but he wears me down eventually.  How could he not, when his choice to find joy in our conversations even when I'm being a pain in the you-know-what is such an obvious delight to him?

#DCspring

Well, dear readers, if you blink you may miss it: our gorgeous DC spring, which showed up late this year, is already making way for hot and muggy DC summer.  Don't believe me?  See for yourself...

The area is still absolutely gorgeous, though the weather is getting gross, and every time I take Charlie out for a walk I am amazed by all the flowers in my new neighborhood.  Glorious wild rose bushes abound, the peonies bloomed last week, the irises are only now on their last legs, and many dogwoods are still in full flower.  I'm tempted to take gardening shears with me whenever I leave the house!  (Okay, I have - three times - but I just clipped some roses from way back in the grounds of an apartment building near me, where they wouldn't be missed, and I actually paid a neighbor for a few of the peonies from her garden!)  I know I Instagram the [expletive] out of spring in DC, but I thought I'd share some of my favorites from April 1 through today, both seen and not yet seen online, before the season is gone for the year.  Enjoy!

Frock Fridays: My Wedding Dress

a few of the dresses I've tried on over the past year

I've been a fiancée for exactly a year this week, dear readers!  (Remember the vlog we made last May to announce our  engagement?)  In that time, I've published 45 Wedding Wednesday posts covering everything from our budget (twice) to finding our photographer (and the wonderful engagement session we did with her in London back in September) to Jon's demand for a traditional wedding cake and my insistence on also serving a cheese cake to a little rant about bridal shoes - but not once have I talked about my wedding dress.  In honor of having worn this beautiful ring for a year, I think it's time I did!

Of course I'm not actually going to show you my dress.  I couldn't even if I wanted to.  You know why?  It's not been made yet!  But I'm getting ahead of myself; let's start at the beginning.

My price point, as they say on Say Yes To The Dress, is pretty low.  If you look at the updated spreadsheet I shared in February, I set aside 5% of my total budget for attire/beauty for myself and my maids.  This doesn't just include my dress but also Sarah and Ellie's frocks, as is the tradition in the UK, as well as whatever hair and makeup arrangements we make.  TheKnot recommends that you can expect to pay 8-10% of your budget just on the bride's attire, so even though I won't tell you where my max is in dollars, you can imagine it's quite a bit lower than average!  Part of the reason I don't want to spend a lot of money on my dress - besides the usual reasons that even brides who do spend a lot on their dresses can understand, like that I'll only be wearing it once and I'd rather put the savings towards cheese - is because I don't think there's One Dress out there for me that's worth thousands of dollars.

Is that strange?  I watch bridal shows like SYTTD often and feel like, even though I'm getting married myself, I can't relate to a lot of the women on the show.  (Don't even get me started on the Atlanta episode where the 20 year old bride made a big deal about getting to wear white because she and her fiancé waited for marriage...)  I know that these shows are made to hype up the process, but I never expected the magical moment that all these girls feel when they see themselves in The Dress.  I've known since the beginning what I wanted in my dress, but I didn't expect to find exactly that while staying in my budget - and, honestly, I didn't think our wedding would be any less glorious if I didn't. I was always totally content with the idea that I'd try on a few dresses, pick my favorite within my price range, and that would be that!

So when, last September as I was ordering Sarah's dress at the JCrew store, the saleslady asked if I wanted to buy my gown at the same time, I didn't laugh her off.  After all, I'd been browsing the website for months and knew the selection like the back of my hand - and they were having a massive offer of 25% off if you spent more than $150.  Why not?  Two weeks later, the JCew dress that was closest to the image I had in my head arrived on my doorstep.

I kept looking, of course, after confirming by email with a JCrew wedding representative that I could return the dress at any time, and ended up going to a store in New York with some friends in October, a bridal salon in London in late December with Ellie and Rose, David's Bridal with my mother in January, and a Loehmann's sale alone in early March.  But I didn't like anything I tried on more than what I thought the JCrew dress could be altered to become, so I made an appointment with a seamstress that my mother knew from her sewing classes to discuss options.

Mom and I met with Velma Lee at her house in late March.  I tried on the JCrew dress for the first time since September and, I will admit, I felt a little thrill.  I explained what I wanted, were anything possible, and Velma examined the dress, nodding and exclaiming as I talked.  She could do everything I asked for except make the skirt a bit fuller, but, since the cost of the dress plus the cost of Velma's work would come in under my budget, I didn't really mind.  After all, I knew that the shape of the skirt wasn't unflattering as it was, and since I didn't believe in The Dress... well, one detail didn't seem to matter.

But them Mom piped up.  "Velma, how much would it cost for you to make the whole thing from scratch?"  Turns out, getting a bespoke dress from this incredibly talented woman would only be a little bit more - technically putting me slightly over the maximum I wanted to pay, but the idea of getting to create my own gown was so exciting!  I took a week to think about it and then called Velma to say yes.

I went back a week later to be measured and had my first fitting on Wednesday night.  When I put on the bodice and skirt, which hadn't yet been sewn together, and Velma pinned everything up, I beamed.  I still don't think there's One Dress out there without which the marriage will be doomed, but I'm thrilled with the dress we're making!

Here are a few of the images we're using as inspiration - if you want glimpses of the session the other night, make sure you're following me on Instagram!

clockwise from top left: Amy Kuschel Breeze / Moonlight / Watters Escalante / Allure Bridal from SMP

Day in the Life

I missed the boat yesterday with all the “day in the life” posts from Jenni’s #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge, but I really wanted to take the day, one month after the Boston Marathon, to talk about running. Also, since I have a few new readers hopping over from Cornflake Dreams, where I’m guest posting about a possible honeymoon destination, today seemed like a perfect opportunity to take you through the routines of a Washingtonian!

Of course, I’m not every Washingtonian. We’ve all got our own things going on, which is what makes this city so awesome. My daily schedule is directed by Charlie, my fully-grown black lab puppy; my day job as an arts fundraiser downtown; and navigating a five-hour time difference between DC and London, where my English fiancé lives. Unless I’ve got a doppelgänger wandering around town, I imagine it all makes for a unique day – so want to come along?

5:30am – Charlie wakes me up by stretching and yawning really loudly next to my bed. If I don’t respond, he puts his face next to mine on the bed and whines softly. If I still don’t respond, he thinks it’s because my ears are dirty, so he licks them invasively until I sit up.

5:30-8:30am – After I pull myself out of bed, we go outside for a quick pee and a nose around the bushes in front of our building. I’m not quite decently dressed when this happens so I make sure we’re out and back in as fast as possible and then I make coffee, give Charlie his breakfast, and catch up on personal emails, Twitter, and Facebook until Charlie decides it’s time to go out for real. We walk to the local dog park, and, ideally, Charlie plays with his friends for about 20 minutes, which is just enough time to wear him out so that he’ll nap until the walker comes around noon. (He’s been playing a bit too aggressively recently; when that happens we leave the dog park earlier and extend our walk instead.) Once we get back home, I eat breakfast over my laptop, Charlie at my feet under the table, and visit blogland briefly. And, at some point during this time, I get my first "morning, baby!" text of the day from Jon.

When I lived in suburbia, it would take me nearly an hour (and $3.55 each way) to commute when you included walking to/from the Metro. Now that I’m in my new apartment, it takes 30 minutes (and $1.60 each way) by walking and hopping on the bus. It’s so much more pleasant!

9:00-5:00 – My day isn't generally a strict 9-5 but, assuming I don’t have an evening event for work, I pack up when I've crosssed everything off my to-do list and head home to Charlie.

5:30-9:00 – Like twelve hours earlier, Charlie and I fight for control of this window of time. He usually wins; we head out immediately for a short walk and then I try to keep him entertained while Skyping with Jon. This means that I end up having my one real conversation of the day with my fiancé on the floor, and it’s punctuated by squeaks from Charlie’s toy when I play with him and growls from Charlie himself when I don’t. (Poor Jon!) When Jon has to go to bed or Charlie gets to be too demanding – whichever comes first – I sign off, change into my running clothes, and clip on Charlie’s leash. We either do a few loops around the neighborhood or make our way into Rock Creek Park and are out for about an hour. When we get back home, Charlie gets his dinner and then passes out on his bed, finally giving me time to make my own dinner, which, again, I eat over my laptop. I usually keep the TV off unless there’s something specific I want to watch, but I am glued to the internet. I catch up on any old shows I may have missed, read and comment on my favorite blogs, and work on my post for the next day. By 9pm, I’m exhausted.

9:00-10:30 – Since I’ve gone for a run earlier in the evening, I jump into the shower before going to sleep. Charlie and I go out for a final pee, and then he jumps onto the bed as I putter around, cleaning up from dinner and turning off all the lights. I hop into bed if Charlie’s left me enough room and deal with any wedding details that have come up throughout the day – entering RSVPs into our spreadsheet, writing thank-you notes, and researching readings for the ceremony – but try to turn off my computer at least 30 minutes before I go to sleep. Hopefully I have time to flip through a magazine before fading away and finally turning off the light! I’m one of those 8-hours-a-night kinds of girls, so the earlier the better, really…

all photos from Instagram

To The Running Community

Wedding Wednesday will actually be on Friday this week, dear readers, as I celebrate having been engaged for one year this week by sharing some details about my dress with you!  (Don't worry; I warned Jon not to look.)  I've been wanting to blog about the process for ages, so I'm really excited to hit publish.  But for today...

I was hoping to say a few words about what happened in Boston at the marathon exactly a month ago, but, honestly, I still don't know what to say other than that I'm deeply sad.  As further details about the alleged bombers emerge, the tragedy seems even more senseless, leaving us with only more questions.  In the Jezebel article that Gesci linked to above, Erin Gloria Ryan writes, "One of the many puzzling aspects of yesterday's attacks was the question of what, exactly, the perpetrators thought they'd accomplish by targeting what basically amounts to a celebration of human tenacity."  So, since I've now actively started training for my first half marathon in September, I'll take this moment to thank the running community that has embraced me over my last year in DC.

When I was living in suburban Maryland, Megan regularly invited me out on her weekend training runs.  Because she's taken me under her wing, I've never thought that I wasn't going fast enough or far enough - she has only ever urged me to understand that running isn't tied to speed or distance but to heart.  (If you haven't read the guest post she wrote for me back in October, go!)  Her running buddies, who I've met a handful of times at races over the past year, have similarly welcomed me, encouraging me to join them for other events and providing valuable advice as I explore this strange new world.  The most wonderful gift they've given me, though, is support: I've finished near the back of the pack at every single race I've run, and, even if they crossed the line hours earlier, they've been at the end to cheer me through the final steps every time.

And it's not just those I know who have cheered.  Yes, when I pushed myself too hard at the end of the Love the Run You're With 5k and had to find a trash can, Megan instinctively grabbed Charlie's leash out of my hands.  And yes, when I finished the 5 miler in Baltimore side by side with Megan we ran straight into her gang, armed with bananas and bottles of water.  But, half a mile before I could see Jon and Sarah and my mother at the finish line of my first ever 10k, I ran off the fumes of complete strangers' whoops and hollers.  People I'd never seen before were telling me they knew I could do it - so I did.

When I run in DC, especially if I'm out with Charlie, I pass so many smiles.  Other runners warn me about a slippery bridge ahead or a raccoon carcass on the path (here's looking at you, Sligo).  Couples out walking joke with me about training Charlie to pause for pee breaks on uphills rather than downhills.  And sometimes we keep pace with other runners, who always give us a wave and a nod before peeling off on a different route.  We're all runners or we want to be runners or we used to be runners or we know someone who runs, and that makes us a community.

So to you, my friends online who tweet encouragement at me and like my Instagrams of sneakers and are, possibly, just as excited about my new PR as I am... thank you.

New Apartment: Entry, Hallway, and Dining Room*

Okay, dear readers, it's time for part two of my home tour!  If you don't remember part one, where I led you through the layout of the rooms, it might be helpful for you to go back to reread that.  This post isn't about how I've styled my new apartment - in large part because I think that living in a "styled" home isn't really living at all; it's just co-existing with blog-worthy vignettes - but rather how I furnished it and why.  I don't have tons of space to work with here and the apartment is definitely still a work in progress, but I love how it's turning out and, based on your comments from last week, you do too!  (Thanks, by the way.  That really means a lot.  Now, when are you all coming over for dinner?)  I also thought it was important to follow up on the post I wrote back in early April about how I wanted to be over the Ikea-and-hand-me-downs phase and into the investing-in-quality-pieces phase of home decor.  You all gave me a much-needed reality check in the comments, and this post is proof that you were absolutely right.  My furniture is from everywhere, and I'm actually even going to include how much I paid for things - as far as I can remember - so you can see how much of a high-low mix I've got going on.  It's not part of a coherent design vision, it's not curated, and it's definitely not styled - but, all together, it makes my apartment a home.

(By the way, this is the part where I apologize for my photos.  When I figure out how to do lighting and editing and other mad photography skillz, I'll let you know.)

So let's start with a welcome!  The mat in front of my door is from Target.  It was definitely not a priority, in terms of what I needed to buy in the first few weeks of moving in, and if I'd had the cash to throw around I would have bought one of the funny dog-related mats (like this one or this one) but I liked the geometric pattern and the colors and it was on sale for $9 so I really couldn't resist.

We then move into the entry, which is awkwardly large.  When you walk in, you're facing a console table, bought at least a decade ago from Saah and kindly donated to me by my parents, and, above that, a mirror that had been in my childhood bedroom.  I got the four little votives while in college and picked up the two white and black vases, both of which are chipped, on clearance at Target a few weeks ago.  (The cardboard box under the console holds Charlie's poop bags. Glamorous?  Moi?  You are too sweet!  And next to that are the Official Dog Walking Flip Flops.) To your right on the wall are wall hooks I got for $18.95 at Joss and Main recently, and they hold Charlie's leash, his unused harness, his towel, and my umbrella.  Perpendicular to the right of the wall with the hooks is the door to a massive empty storage closet, and there's a 6'10" long wall parallel to the wall with the hooks that is, at the moment, totally bare.

You exit the entry into the hallway.  The door to the coat closet is on your right, the doorframe into the kitchen is ahead of you slightly to the left, and the hallway stretches out towards the left leading into the bedroom.  This photo was taken from the bedroom doorframe looking down the hallway to the coat closet; the bathroom door is on the right side of the hallway just inside the photo.  The bench (and cushion) came from my late grandmother's apartment and the rug was $29.99 from Bed Bath and Beyond.  The pretty mirror above the bench from some of my recent Instagrams is from my maternal grandparents via my mother.

Now, let's go through the kitchen into the dining room.  The walls are painted with Benjamin Moore Tucson Coral 005 - I was super nervous about it when I gave the maintenance guys the go because I've never done anything so bold before, but I love it!  The clock was another Target find at $24.99, and I got the Ikea BJÖRKUDDEN table, originally $99.00, for $40 on Craigslist.  I love the tablecloth, which I found last weekend on another trip to Target for $14.99.  Mom had the two chairs at her sewing table in the basement, though she can't remember where we got them and I can't remember where they were once used, and generously gave them to me.  The pretty planter, by the way, holds basil, parsley, and thyme, and was $12.99 from Target.  Last but not least, the mat that Charlie's bowls are on was from Bed Bath and Beyond and cost about $7.  (Charlie will only drink out of a ceramic bowl.  The other plastic one I bought - because I got two when we first brought him home, one for food and one for water - is still at my parents' house for when he's there.  He is such a diva!)

So that's part two of the house tour, dear readers!  We'll go through the living room and bedroom next week, and then I'll do an art post once everything's up on the walls.  (I'm not sure how long that will take...)  You don't get to see the bathroom beyond this right now, but I will say that the tension rod shower caddy I bought from Target is the most useful thing I have ever owned.  Do let me know if there's anything you want to see or know more about - or anything you don't want to see or know anything about - and I'll do my best to oblige!  Now, let's sit at the table with our coffee and have a chat, shall we?

*Edited for accuracy by my mother.  Obviously.