Silent (Easter) Sunday

Frock Fridays: Easter in East Anglia

For the past few weeks, I haven't been missing Jon quite as much as I had been before we got over the halfway mark in this stretch of long distance.  I mean, I have, but it hasn't been as painful and it hasn't manifested itself in counterproductive ways, like it was in February.  Now that we're inching towards seeing each other again - just three more weeks to go now! - everything seems a bit brighter.

That being said, I have been down a bit since I signed the lease on my new apartment.  This was something I had thought we'd be doing together, and every time I pick out furniture or compare paint colors I think, "This would be so much better if Jon were here."  He will be, eventually, and I'm mostly at peace with reality, but I do have to admit that sometimes it makes me a little sad!  Add to that the fact that it's Easter weekend and for the past few years I spent this time with Jon and his family, so a lot of lovely (though now bittersweet) memories have bubbled to the surface lately.

So I thought that, for today's Frock Fridays post, I'd try an alternate reality: what would I have packed in my weekend bag right now if I were on the train with Jon, pulling out of Liverpool Street Station and heading northeast to Suffolk?  Well, though spring has finally arrived in DC, it's still winter in much of England...

this is in Celsius - it translates to the upper 30s in Fahrenheit!

Easter clothes as shown in the JCPenney ads aren't an option given this weather, obviously, so let's stick with British brands, shall we?  This floral dress from New Look will work perfectly with its muted colors but lively pattern, and of course it'll be layered under a simple cardigan from Oasis and a pair of Wolford tights.  I'll stick with classic ballet flats (these are Tory Burch, which isn't English, but they're available at Harvey Nichols and I love her new flagship on Bond Street) so I can race the younger cousins for the best Easter eggs when we have our hunt on Sunday!  And we'll finish off with sweet heart earrings from Accessorize and a peach bow for my hair courtesy of Dorothy Perkins.  What this collage doesn't show, you'll notice, is the winter coat that I'd have to drag around with me all weekend if I actually were in Suffolk - but this is an alternate reality, so let's pretend it's a touch warmer there than the BBC says!

Happy Easter, dear readers, if you celebrate the holiday - and, if you don't, think about taking a moment to refresh your soul over the next few days anyway.  It can only help!

linking up with {long distance loving}

Bach, Now

The Good Shepherd Chapel; Washington National Cathedral

Pace yourself: it's a simple message, yet it resonated with so many of you.  It seems we're all multitasking, distracted, and unfocused these days, but I'm sure every generation throughout history declared that no other has ever been as overwhelmed as it is.  We'd do well to remember that busy is a relative concept - did you know that Johann Sebastian Bach, in addition to having twenty children and a full schedule of teaching and directing on top of his duties as organist and choirmaster, wrote more than two hundred cantatas, several motets, five masses, three oratorios, and four settings of the Passion story, as well as vast amounts of organ music?

I imagine that Bach found great peace in his music amongst the chaos of his life.  He's one of my favorite composers for the stunning beauty that infuses even the simplest of his phrases; you always know where the chords are going, but it's no less miraculous when they arrive there.  Whether you are listening to a single pianist, an unaccompanied choir, or a swelling orchestra and chorus, Bach unfolds the delicacy of the most complex passages and magnifies the delight of a single line until you feel your heart might burst.  Of music, he wrote,

The aim and final end of all music

should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul.

As we head into Easter weekend, for which Bach wrote magnificent works, let's take a minute to refresh our souls.  And let's wish a Johann Sebastan Bach, born on March 31, 1685, a very happy birthday.

Wedding Wednesday: Civil Marriage

Originally, I was going to wrap up my Wedding Wednesday posts on different wedding US/UK traditions today, but I got quite a few questions about British civil ceremonies and I thought I might take the opportunity to explain further!  But first, I don't think it's appropriate to write any post about marriage ceremonies this week without broadcasting my support for the two currently cases before the Supreme Court:

via*

On last week's post, Meghan, an American in England with a British beau, commented, "With regards to the civil ceremony I was surprised, and a bit refreshed, about the lack of religious implication about a wedding."  I'd heard rumors about the church/state division in British weddings before beginning to plan my own wedding but have only been to one civil ceremony in the England (and that was when I was 10), so I was thrown by the total lack of flexibility.  Here's what uk.gov says:

Civil ceremonies can include readings, songs or music,
but must not include anything that’s religious - eg hymns or readings from the Bible.

Apparently, this isn't a prohibition on the part of the State; it's the Church getting territorial.  Regardless of whether or not that's true, it definitely forced Jon and me to rethink our wedding ceremony.  There were some aspects of both our faiths that we wanted to include in the ceremony; we had envisioned biblical readings, certainly, but also wanted to incorporate some rituals like the smashing of the glass that simply aren't an option in a civil ceremony in England.  

When you have a civil ceremony, you have to get everything approved by the registrar assigned to you to make sure there isn't even a hint of religion.  We don't have our license yet because of timing complications but we have had one piece of music approved by the registrar office already - Jon had to do some serious research on it before he called and then used his best powers of persuasion to convince the office that it wasn't a religious piece even though it was written by a composer best known for his religious music!  (This is true, by the way; we weren't tricking them.  It's just funny to me how the process works.)  The whole thing is so secular, in fact, that you don't even have to say any vows.  There's some formal wording that must be included for legal reasons, but anything else you want to say during the ceremony must be discussed with the registrar beforehand.

You've probably guessed by now that, if you are having a civil ceremony, you have to be married by the registrar assigned to you.  There isn't an option whereby a friend, no matter how official, can serve as your officiant if you want a legal civil ceremony in England.  In addition to that, you can only have a civil service in a register office or indoors at an approved venue, which doesn't include any building that has ever had a religious affiliation.  (I would have loved to get married in an old decommissioned church, but alas!)  Based on when and where we're getting married, Jon and I will be paying about £500 for the privilege of a civil ceremony on top of the venue fees.

The whole thing does feel a bit limiting and can be quite frustrating at times.  Jon and I have found some readings that we love that don't come from a specific faith but that contain spiritual themes, and we're pretty confident that it's not even worth mentioning them to the registrar - though we might try anyway!  But every time I get discouraged, I remember what's important: we love each other and we'll soon be legally recognized as married.  Not everyone is so lucky right now, but I hope that one day we all will have that opportunity.

via

*I couldn't find the source of this image; if you know, please do tell me so I can credit it properly!  Even though I am being quite militant about cleaning up my pins and posts, this simply had to be shared. (Update: thank you to Kate for passing this along!)

Pace Yourself

via

It never really is one thing at a time, is it?  Happily, the "evenings and weekends" part of my job is on the back burner for the next few weeks, but life is still busy: it's Passover right now and I'm getting ready for my trip to England with Mom and Dad in mid-April and finalizing as many wedding-related things as possible before we go and preparing to move into my new apartment as soon as we get back.

Wait, what?  Yes!  While I love living at home with my parents and it's been wonderful to reconnect with them after a couple years across the pond, we've all become increasingly aware since I got back that I would, sooner rather than later, need to find my own place.  I'll share more details later, but for now it means that I'm spending all of my free internet time searching for deals on furniture, picking paint colors, and researching ideas for how to lay out and decorate my space.  I really took a break from this sort of thing after I moved into my second flat in London, almost exactly two years ago, so I don't remember where to look for inspiration - do let me know about your favorite sites, please!

While I'm obviously really excited about this new adventure and I'm delighted to have the excuse to fill up my home&garden board on Pinterest, which had been mostly bare because I didn't really want to tease myself with aspirational homes when I was ages away from having my own small space, it does mean that my blogging will suffer a little.  Well, actually, that's only half true.  My participation in the blogging community has been negligible for the past two weeks because of all this craziness and, I'm afraid, it won't be much better for the next two.  I find that I need to write my posts - it's incredibly cathartic for me, you know, and rather than feeling pressured to publish regularly I feel more calm and creative when I make the time to stick to my editorial calendar - but it's harder for me to keep up with your blogs.  So for that I'm sorry, and I'm sure I'll have a blogging binge when things let up a bit.  I really am looking forward to my next sick day (as long as I'm not disgusting and miserable and comatose and things) when I can curl up with tea and grilled cheese and my laptop and catch up on everything you've been thinking and doing and sharing - I love all the comments you're leaving here, especially on last week's faith posts, but I do miss seeing what you're up to!  So yes: I'm sorry and thank you and much love to you all, dear readers, as I continue to try to pace myself.

And, while I try, tell me how you make time in the day for everything you need to do!  Help - what are your tips for pacing yourself?  We all know that "one thing at a time" is easier said than done...

Passover Recipe - Matzoh Brei

Passover starts tonight, dear readers!  We'll be joining family friends for the first Seder, as we've done for years and years now; our families became close when their oldest daughter was in my sister's class at Hebrew school and they were paired for their Bat Mitzvot, but it also turns out that we share a famous rabbi as an ancestor and, like most people who have put down roots in DC, have tons o' friends in common.  I'll also be hosting my own Metaphorical Second Night Seder on Saturday for about a dozen girls in town, most of whom aren't Jewish, and I plan to go totally overboard for that so will share all the details with you next week after I've recovered.  In the meantime, though, let's continue the tradition (2011 here and 2012 here, if you're newish) of Passover recipes on Betsy Transatlantically with a discussion about matzah brei!

Just to summarize quickly first, in case you don't know: during Passover, practicing Jews cannot eat anything leavened.  That means something different depending on how observant you are - it was a big deal a few years ago when the Orthodox rabbis declared quinoa to be kosher for passover - but, basically, it turns Jews celiac for eight days.  The only carb we can eat is matzoh.  It's really not the end of the world, because you can substitute matzah or matzoh meal for almost anything, but it does make you pause to consider the holiday before every meal.  My favorite savory dishes made with matzoh are spanakopita with a Passover twist, porcini polenta made with matzoh meal, and ham and cheese sandwiches on matzoh crackers.  (Yes, I am the worst good Jew ever.)  But the best thing you can make with matzoh is, unquestionably, matzoh brei for breakfast.

[ cinnamon, apples, and raisins / classic / chocolate and banana / cupcakes with compote / red peppers and olives ]

Matzoh brei is basically French toast, but it's kosher for Passover.  You can make it more of a strada or frittata, with savory additions like mushrooms or peppers, but I like it best when it's a bit sweet and you can douse it in maple syrup.  The classic matzoh brei above (image 2) is as basic as it gets - here's how my mom jazzes up her standard:

2 sheets of matzoh
2 eggs
1/2 c skim milk
sprinkling of cinnamon
vegetable oil

Beat together the eggs and milk and sprinkle in some cinnamon.  Break the matzah into 1-inch pieces and soak in the liquid mixture for a few minutes, until the crackers soften a bit.  Heat oil in a heavy skillet and spoon the "batter" in to create four patties.  Fry, flipping once, until golden and cooked through, about 2 minutes per side.  Serve hot with maple syrup and enjoy!

Navel-Gazing With Instagram

Do you remember that Nickleback parody about Instagram that came out a few months ago from CollegeHumor?  If you haven't heard it, go.  Now.  Click on that link and listen, and then come back and thank me after you've wiped the tears of laughter and shame from your eyes.  Okay?

Great.  Well, now that you know what I'm talking about, will you raise your hand with me and admit to being guilty on all counts?  Because I am, and 99% of my Instagram feed is, too.  But it's okay, because, you know, we're self-aware and ironic about the whole thing.  Kind of, at least, right?

Anyway, the point of this post is that I just discovered a website that gives you Instagram statistics - a breakdown of follower engagement, analysis of comments and likes, etc.  So, in a terrifying moment of selflessness, I tore my eyes from my own belly button; I decided to check out what you all think are the five best Instagrams I've ever posted.  (To be honest, I have no idea what "best" means in this situation, but let's go with it.)  It's worth mentioning that the composite of my photos is roughly as follows:

20% Charlie

20% sky (including from airplanes)

20% food

20% outfits/style

10% DC living (monuments, restaurants, etc.)

10% home (decor, neighborhood, etc.)

Given that I am, even with filters, one of the worst food photographers the world has ever seen, it's not surprising that nothing edible was wildly popular.  I was surprised that a wedding-related photo was amongst the top 5 because I've taken so few of them, but it looks like everyone really does love the romance of a white gown. And I had thought that at least one from London would be up there, but I guess it makes sense that none is since I've only had my iPhone with me for two trips to England - I got it in June, after I'd moved back to the States - and I was trying to be good about not using too much data while abroad.  So, with all of that, here goes:

What do you think, dear readers - do my Instagram followers have good taste?  Oh, and this is probably the part of the post where I remind you that you can follow me here if you want to sway the results next time...

Frock Fridays: Florals for Spring (Groundbreaking)

We just have to acknowledge the brilliance of The Devil Wears Prada before we go any further, don't we?  And then we have to follow the gif with a communal freak-out because the movie was made seven years ago.  Can you believe it?  God, I feel old.  Anyway, back to the topic at hand: florals for spring.

No, it's not groundbreaking, but then most of what I wear isn't, terribly.  I wear what makes me feel good, and florals in the spring make me happy - they made me feel alive, like I'm echoing the rebirth of the earth in every swish of my skirt or flick of my wrist or click of my feels.  And it is spring, even though the weather seems not to have been informed, and I'm really hoping that, if I wear spring, Mother Nature will follow my example.  There's almost no way Miranda Priestly would understand that, though, so let's just not tell her, okay?  Thanks.

[ from left: dress / watch / shirtdress / tote / satchel / miniskirt / pencil skirt / heels / flats / sneakers / wedges ]

linking up with {long distance loving}

I Believe

We're back on the topic of broadcasting faith, dear readers, and I'll preface this post with the end of what I wrote on Tuesday:

I’m going to publish an “I Believe” post.  It’ll be the kind that talks about faith – real faith, the faith that doesn’t necessarily have a definition but that makes me who I am and directs my hopes and fears.  And it’s going to be a little scary to share that with you because, like I said, I feel sometimes like I’m alone in not having a distinct community of people who believe the same things I do.  But I’m going to publish it anyway and I hope that it encourages you to talk about your faith, too, if you haven’t before, no matter if you belong to an organized religion or not.  I know that each one of us gets to a place where we are comfortable sharing these things in our own time, but I’d love to read if you are!

Please do share your own "I Believe" thoughts in the comments below if you're comfortable; regardless, I'd love to know what thoughts this post (and the other responses) inspire.  You're a wonderful group of people and many of you have been here for a while, so it goes without saying that I expect the conversation to be respectful but I absolutely do encourage different angles.  Please consider this a safe space and help me keep it one.  And finally, as I replied to Jenna earlier this week, this is some (but not all - I've limited myself to 10 points here) of what I believe now and I hope that my beliefs will continue to evolve throughout my life.

The Hand of God, Auguste Rodin; cast in bronze 1925

Rodin Museum (Philadelphia)

I believe in one God.

I believe that science and faith in God are not mutually exclusive; that they coexist and they illuminate each other and that when we make further discoveries in the scientific realm we are engaging in spiritual exploration as well.

I believe that there is no one right way to define or worship God and that we all do so in a context that best fits and/or explains our understanding of the world around us; as Rousseau said, "God created man in his own image and man, being a gentleman, returned the favor."

I believe that God doesn't care how we define or worship him as long as we are kind, loving, and generous to those we know and to those we do not know.

I believe that God loves us so much that he will let us make decisions that hurt us rather than impose on our free will.

I believe that God is too immense to dictate to us about morality; that he trusts us to construct our own from love and hope and faith in all people.

I believe that any organized religion can be a force for good or for evil.

I believe that fundamentalism is dangerous no matter what name it gives itself; that extreme and exclusive dogma is counterproductive to true faith in God and in man.

I believe that while the details of my faith should (and, hopefully, will) evolve over time, no one can undermine it by believing something contrary or contradictory.

I believe that questioning is a sign of confidence, not weakness, and that every time we reaffirm our beliefs or reconstruct them to reflect our changing consciousness of the world around us we glorify God and the power and autonomy with which he endowed us.

What do you believe?

Wedding Wednesday: Tradition Tradition

Given yesterday's post on faith, dear readers, and today's Wedding Wednesday topic of tradition, it's only appropriate that we start off here with some Fiddler on the Roof!  But, actually, let me first say thank you for participating in yesterday's discussion so wholeheartedly.  It's amazing to read everyone's thoughts on such a controversial and personal issue, and I especially love that some of you dove in and responded to other readers' comments - I am so encouraged by the conversation that this has sparked.  Originally, I was going to publish the follow-up "I Believe" post next Thursday, Maundy Thursday, in conjunction with Holy Week and Easter, but I want to keep the enthusiasm stoked and so it will appear tomorrow!  Make sure you check back, and please do share if you're comfortable.  As we think about our own spiritual uncertainty, it's interesting to remember, as Tevye says, "Because of our traditions, every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do..."

Jon and I are having a civil ceremony, which in the UK means that it can't include any religious aspects at all.  I'll talk more about that in a future Wedding Wednesday post, but it does make this topic of wedding traditions, which have different forms on either side of the pond, a bit easier to tackle!

Even though I sometimes feel that there's pressure on couples to be creative in a very specific way as they plan the aesthetic of their weddings - if you don't know what I'm talking about, check out this hilarious infographic - one of the current trends I love is the emphasis on making the ceremony personal and unique.  There are dozens of articles out there on how to blend cultures in a wedding ceremony, and, unless you're getting married in a strictly religious setting where you have to follow certain rules, it really does seem like anything goes.  Granted, my traditions aren't phenomenally different from Jon's, especially not when you take out the religious elements, but there are enough variations that we feel like we get to pick and choose those that work best for us!  This will actually take two weeks' worth of Wedding Wednesdays, so let's do this chronologically and work our way through the day starting with the ceremony:

via

I'm definitely going to incorporate a few of the fun old-wifesey traditions - for instance, in America, the saying is "something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue" but, in England, they add "and a sixpence in your shoe!" at the end.  Jon's father tells me that they have a sixpence or two lying around the house, so I'm excited to include that.  Also, another expat bride told me that there's a British tradition of carrying a horseshoe (an ornamental one, obviously, since the real things are heavy!) for good luck.  I'm not sure I'll do that, but it's a sweet idea.

The first look is a purely American invention, though it has made its way to the UK along with many other traditions.  It's never been something that I wanted to do; the moment a groom sees his bride seems like such a magical thing to share with all those you love most dearly and, honestly, a truly spiritual moment that belongs in the ceremony.  Luckily, Jon had never heard of the first look before and isn't keen either.

British weddings are usually scheduled much earlier in the day than American weddings.  Of course you can have a morning wedding followed by a festive brunch or an afternoon wedding followed by a tea party, but wedding ceremonies in the UK are often in the early afternoon even when the wedding day includes dinner and dancing in the evening.  Jon's parents were surprised when I suggested a late afternoon ceremony and the registrar was as well when I called to make a 5pm reservation - in fact, you can't legally have a civil ceremony after 6pm in England!

In England, when all the guests are seated for the ceremony and the groom and his best men are standing up at the altar, the groom keeps his back to the room and only sees his bride when she arrives beside him.  (Remember the Royal Wedding back in 2011?  Watch the video - you can start at 4:30, but you'll see it specifically from 5:10 to 6:10.  Hold on a second, must get a tissue.  I tear up every time!)  Jon and I haven't discussed how this will happen, but in the US, the groom watches his bride process up the aisle towards him.

Also, speaking of processionals, the bride goes first in England, followed by her bridesmaids.  We'll be doing it American-style; I want to go last!  Our ceremony will be pretty short, so we'll also follow the American tradition of having our attendants stand with us for the whole thing.  In England, the bridesmaids and groomsmen usually sit with the guests after they process up the aisle.

We'll discuss the content of the ceremony - well, inasfar as I can share it without giving everything away - when I post about civil ceremonies in the UK, but next week we'll continue with more US/UK differences, focusing on the reception!  In the meantime, I know I have some readers out there who have been to (or participated in) transatlantic weddings - what differences have you noticed?

Broadcasting Faith

sunrise in Charlottesville, VA; November 2012

When I get together with other bloggers, we inevitably end up talking about blog trends that fly over our heads. We cover everything under the sun – the need for a “Love Story” tab, the emergence of those huge cash giveaways, and the logistics of outfit posts that include twelve different pictures of the same skirt. (I’d like to stress, before people get offended, that these are things I don’t understand; they’re not things I actively dislike or disrespect.) And one of the topics that we almost always discuss is religious blogging. I know that that’s an ambiguous phrase, but I picked it on purpose. Let me try to explain…

I was surprised, when I started dipping my toes into the ocean of lifestyle bloggers, that so many broadcasted their religion on their blogs. From bloggers who include an “I Believe” link to Mormon.org to bloggers who share evangelizing stories about being saved to bloggers who include “daughter of the King” or “Jesus-lover” in their biographies, fervent proclamations of faith are all over the blogosphere. (And yes, from what I’ve seen they’re almost always written by self-professed Christians.)

I’m going to be really honest with you, dear readers: when I first noticed this, it made me uncomfortable. Then it made me upset. Finally, it made me feel insecure. These bloggers seem to have a built-in community just waiting for them. They have something to reach for when they want an explanation for both the trivial and the metaphysical questions of life. And they have a confidence of conviction that can (and often does) infuse everything they do and say.

Now I’m going to be honest again: I want all of that too. And you know what? As soon as I enunciated this to myself, instead of just feeling uncomfortable or upset or insecure I realized that I do have all of it. I may not have a church of any one denomination whose beliefs I completely ascribe to, but I have faith. Just because there isn’t an easy label for my faith doesn’t mean that I can’t broadcast it to the world if I want to!

So on Thursday, March 28, I’m going to publish an “I Believe” post. It won’t be the kind that’s been going round the blogosphere for the past few months – you know, the kind that talks about appreciating sunrises and baking cookies for your neighbors, even though I do love all that stuff too and those posts are totally necessary sometimes. It’ll be the kind that talks about faith – real faith, the faith that doesn’t necessarily have a definition but that makes me who I am and directs my hopes and fears.

And it’s going to be a little scary to share that with you because, like I said, I feel sometimes like I’m alone in not having a distinct community of people who believe the same things I do. But I’m going to publish it anyway and I hope that it encourages you to talk about your faith too if you haven’t before, no matter if you belong to an organized religion or not. So come back on Thursday to hear what I believe – I know that each one of us gets to a place where we are comfortable sharing these things in our own time, but I’d love to read if you are!

Dec Arts Are Hot*

There are thousands of blogs and websites out there dedicated to furniture and interior decorating - I try to stay away from them, honestly, because I can only handle having so many life fantasies at once.  (The one about cooking dinner from scratch five nights a week?  I'll keep that.  The one about walking into my dream home and seeing five pairs of wellies, neatly lined up next to each other in size order, under the wooden hall table and beside the raffia baskets of mittens and hats and scarves?  Sorry, it's just too much for me right now!)  But that doesn't mean I don't like decorative arts.  In fact, when I went to the National Gallery of Art the other week to check out Faking It: Manipulated Photography Before Photoshop, I was waylaid by the most beautiful rooms full of masterpieces of American furniture from the Kaufman collection.

There's a difference between marking up every other page in the Pottery Barn catalogue and admiring these pieces, right?  After all, they're in a museum!  It's history, you know.  So that makes appreciating the collection totally okay.  Not sure if it's okay to wonder if I have a long-lost great-uncle somewhere who, when he dies, will leave me his incredible collection of antiques, but let's keep that fantasy between us, dear readers.

*My mother works at a museum and, when they did a furniture show, she came home and declared, "Dec arts are hot!  Brown furniture rocks!"  So I have to credit her for the title of this post - thanks, Mom!

Brotherly Love

After a few transportation-related snafus yesterday (see here and here for details), I've arrived in Philadelphia!  I'm so excited to spend the day with Hannah and to meet Gillian - follow along on Twitter and Instagram if you want to join us for our adventures.  I hope you're having a wonderful weekend, dear readers!

Frock Fridays: March in Maryland

Happy Friday, dear readers!  I'm over on Elembee today helping out with her Across The USA series - we're taking you on a tour of Maryland, so I thought it would be fun to coordinate today's Frock Friday's post with that!  I talk a good game about Washington, DC around here, but I grew up in suburban Maryland, five minutes out from the city lines and inside the infamous Beltway.  I have wonderful memories from childhood and adolescence of spring in the classic suburban neighborhood of downtown Bethesda - grabbing breakfast at Bethesda Bagels after my sister's soccer games, browsing the Barnes and Noble until Mom and Dad yelled at us to choose a book already, trying on dresses at Luna with girlfriends for a school dance, and roasting s'mores at Cosi on awkward group dates.

I still head to Bethesda every so often, but both it and I have evolved in the past decade.  Now I schedule appointments at the Apple store Genius Bar, sneak a treat from Georgetown Cupcakes, work out how many miles I'll have to run to justify spending $80 at Lululemon, test out the beauty samples at Blue Mercury, and dream about all the amazing things I could cook if someone just gave me the contents of the Le Creuset store.  Bethesda Row has some really cute - if expensive - clothing stores, so I challenged myself to come up with an outfit entirely from local shops.  This would be perfect for a late March brunch with friends at Redwood or Café Deluxe!

[ scarf / earrings / bracelet / bag / shoes / dress ] linking up with {long distance loving}

Best Laid Plans

The best-laid plans of mice and men, dear readers, often go astray: I wanted to share Charlie’s birthday with you today, but I’d totally forgotten that I had a work event last night and so wasn’t able to prepare everything in time. We’ll have to do it next week sometime since those evenings are a bit less crazy!

I’d say we could make the pies this weekend, but I’m going up to Philadelphia to visit Hannah, one of my best friends, and to cheer at the finish of a 10k that I registered to run. If you watched my vlog, you know that my two big running goals for the year are a spring 10 miler and a half-marathon in the fall. I’m signed up for the Cherry Pit 10 Miler on April 16, and I decided to combine seeing Hannah with the Get Your Rear in Gear 10k this Sunday as part of my training. But I hurt my foot a few weeks ago and finally saw my orthopedist about it on Tuesday, who confirmed that I am healing from a stress fracture in my fifth metatarsal. I haven’t run in three weeks and I’m not allowed to run for another three, when I have a follow-up with the doctor, so I’ll definitely miss the 10k and there’s no way I’ll be physically ready to run the 10 miler two weeks later after almost 2 months of non-activity. (For the record, I wasn’t proactive about the pain sooner because I didn’t think I was hardcore enough to actually injure myself but, as Megan said and the doctor repeated, this is a really easy thing to do – there’s nothing athletic about breaking your foot!)

On the bright side, not running hasn’t derailed my efforts to be healthier, and in the last two weeks I’ve lost the three pounds that I’d put back on in February by sticking with My Fitness Pal. There’s nothing that says I won’t be able to run a 10 miler in the late spring or early summer – anyone know of any in the DC area? - and the Diva Half, on September 14, is still ages away. So that's all good news!  And thank you all so much for your lovely comments on yesterday's post.  It's comforting to know that we're not alone as we clear these hurdles!

Also, though this is a total non-sequitur, the religious historian in me loved following along with the selection of the new pope.  My understanding of the workings of the Catholic Church really end with the 16th century, but it was still cool to see everything in action in a contemporary context!  That being said, I was kind of hoping for bubbles in Charlie's honor...

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Wedding Wednesday: Great Love and Great Miracles

London engagement session by Tarah Coonan; September 2012

I have to start this with a huge thank you to Jon; he doesn't entirely understand my need to publish satisfying Wedding Wednesday posts but listened patiently as our goodnight Skype turned into a ramble about today's topic and only once, gently, reminded me that he had to go to bed.

You know that long distance has been a struggle for us, as it is for most couples in similar situations.  What you don't know is that part of the reason it has been so stressful and tense is that we've encountered a few roadblocks on the way to legally getting married in the UK.  I'm not comfortable sharing the details on the blog until it's all a bit more settled, but I will tell you that when we had our phone consultation with the lawyer on Monday we asked why we'd never heard of transatlantic couples having these issues before.  "Oh, they do have these issues," she said.  "They just don't know that they exist and so they bulldoze through them, usually without consequences."  The she laughed.  "Your problem is that your research was too thorough!"

The past few months of dealing with this have been instrumental in highlighting the differences between having a wedding and getting married.  Ideally, of course, you'll do both at the same time, but it's not always logistically or bureaucratically an option and Jon and I did have to face the possibility of the two being distinct and separate.  It forced me to think about what it means to get married; what it means to vow until death do you part regardless of the pomp and circumstance of a ceremony, what it means to distill the moment into the purest expression of love between two people, and what it means to start the rest of your lives together surrounded by those who love you most dearly.

We'll be back to the Wedding Wednesday frills next week, dear readers, but I wanted to take a moment to share these thoughts with you today.  I don't know many people who have eloped - Megan and Stephen's beautifully intimate day is the closest thing I can think of - and we are jumping through every hoop to ensure that our dreams can materialize as planned, but I am grateful for the reminder that, at the end of the day...

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The Language Of Love

Charlie's birthday is this week - well, we decided it is, anyway!  We adopted him on July 14 when he was about 16 months old, so Mom and Dad and I pinned a star on the calendar for March 14 and declared it Charlie's birthday.  It's Pie Day, too, so we're going to make him a special dog-friendly version of Shepherd's Pie (alongside the normal one that we'll have on the same night, of course).  I'm super excited to share both recipes with you on Thursday!

Every few days I tweet about having been caught by a neighbor while on a walk with Charlie saying absurd things.  Here are some of the regulars:

This looks like the best bush for a pee!

No, Charlie, you're not a cow. No! How many stomachs do you have? One. So stop eating the grass!

Charlie, that's a rock.  That's not a rabbit.  Calm down.

Do you have a poop in you?

You don't even want to know what I say to Charlie when we're in the house.  I mean, I told you about some of the singing; sometimes we have actual conversations together.  Well, I have the conversation, anyway.  For instance, when I'm making a meal and he looks up at me with those eyes that say "Please, gentle lady, I have never ever eaten before in my whole life and I'm too sweet to die of starvation so please would you share a morsel with me in the name of Christian charity?" I tell him, in the words of Paul, "Love is patient, love is kind."  And then I give him some food.  I'm actually kind of concerned that he thinks I'm totally weird.  But that's what happens when you have a little one in the family!  Speaking of, have you seen these graphics that Nathan Ripperger created to illustrate the ridiculous things he says to his children?  They're too funny - and they hit too close to home!

Truthiness in Blogging

Two introspective (and, possibly, slightly melodramatic) posts in two weeks! Sorry, dear readers. But you’re the most honest sounding board I know and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…

Last week, I went through a social media breakup. I’d never met the other person in real life, but I had enjoyed our online relationship and I was sad for it to end. It takes two to tango, though, and – well, these things happen. Even recognizing that, it felt personal in a different way than a friend break-up ever has before. I was over the rejection by the time I woke up the next morning, but I’m still trying to enunciate why it affected me in the way that it did. Here’s where I've ended up:

Bloggers talk all the time about how much of our real lives we share over the interwebs. It seems like you can’t turn around without reading a plea for more authenticity online; we’re all tired of seeing curated bookshelves and styled dinner tables presented as the norm. I completely endorse the movement towards realism, but, regardless, we can’t deny that we choose the best version of ourselves to make public on the internet. Yeah, I've Instagrammed pictures in my PJs on the couch with a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies, and some nights really are that slobtastic. But I’m even more of a sloth on other nights, and those are the ones that I screen from Twitter. The best way to describe how we present ourselves on social media is with a word courtesy of the inimitable Steven Colbert: truthiness.

We select which parts of ourselves we share with the world. I can show you only real things – my actual bookshelf, the current state of my dining table, etc – but you still only see the aspects I want you to. It does’t mean that I'm lying about who I am and it doesn't mean that those bits and pieces aren't real, but it does mean that you get a picture of me that is truthy rather than true.

Unless you’re masochistic or you have some strange ulterior motive, that truthy version of you that the world sees is going to be the most idealized you can present. For example, you know about the bowl of pasta I made the other night – indulgent, maybe, but not decadent – rather than the two packets of Kraft Mac & Cheese that I microwaved and wolfed down in the space of five minutes. The world of social media gets the real me, but it gets the best real me I can present.

So here’s the question that the breakup left me with: what does it mean when someone doesn't like the best real you that you can piece together, and where do you go from there?

The Sunday Currently V

Good morning, dear readers! Did you remember to change your clocks? We did but Charlie didn't, so actually I think we somehow didn't quite lose an hour. I'm not sure how that works mathematically - please let's not overthink it - but now it's coffee and cheerios and the Sunday Currently until a dear family friend comes over for brunch!

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currently...

reading The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris by David McCullough.  When we think of American pioneers in the 19th century, we think of heading west, armed with plows and guns and mining picks and manifest destiny.  But just as important for the evolution of the United States were those who traveled east to Paris - artists, writers, doctors, politicians, and others - and came back home to shape American history with what they had learned.  McCullough is an amazing storyteller and these lives leap off the page; I'm practically in Paris with them as I read.

writing a couple of incredibly personal blog posts about faith to publish in the next few weeks.  At first, I'd thought that maybe I could turn the last one into a link-up, but I realized after discussing it with some friends that not everyone's comfortable talking about what they believe in online, especially if it doesn't conform with what their families or communities profess.  But I need to write this out for myself - it's baptism by the pen, if you will - and I do hope it will make others feel less alone.  (If you are interested in joining, email me!)

listening to the "folk rock" station on Grooveshark.  I don't actually know what that means, but it's got Cat Stevens, Mumford & Sons, and Bob Dylan, among others, and is perfect for a Sunday morning!

thinking about the bad dream I had last night.  I haven't had a nightmare like that in years - don't you eventually grow out of them?  But I literally woke up in tears because it was so sad and scary.  Happily, most of the details are fading now, but I still remember how awful it felt while I was caught in it.

smelling bacon frying.  Can brunch start now, please?

wishing April 20th would hurry up and get here already so I can hop on that plane and go to London to see Jon!  This spell of long distance is not one of our best...

hoping that the sun and warmth will stick around - if the arrival of spring is interrupted by another cold spell, I will yell at someone.  (If you want to see what this season is like in DC, follow me in Instagram!  I'm going a bit sun/flowers/leaves crazy over there.)

wearing my beautiful and clean David Yurman ring again, thanks to my mother!  I had put it in one of those tubs of silver polish liquid on Friday night... and then forgot about it until Saturday morning and it was totally oxidized.  (Turns out I shouldn't have used that product in the first place because the gold in the ring interacts badly with the chemicals - oops.)  But Mom used one of those tricks that they teach at Mommy School and it's now good as new.

loving that Jenna and Jay are usually the first two commenters on almost every post I publish.  Their responses are so sweet and thoughtful, and it makes me feel like all is right with the world when I hear the ping of my email in the morning and it's Disqus telling me that these girls have left me some love.

wanting to be running again!  I hurt my foot back in February, just when I started training for the 10k I have next weekend, and haven't been out in three weeks.  To be honest, I didn't do anything for my foot or talk to anyone about it because I didn't think I was hardcore enough to have a running injury, but then Megan told me that it's really easy to break your foot and I should be careful.  (So the moral of the story is: I wasn't hardcore, and I hurt myself anyway.  Typical.)  It had been feeling better and I was looking forward to lacing up my sneakers this weekend, but I did a lot of walking yesterday and it's sore again.  Maybe I can try just a little run today?  I really don't want to pull out of the race!

needing to stay on the My Fitness Pal wagon.  Since I recorded my vlog back in late January, I plateaued and then gained three pounds back.  In the last week, I was (mostly) good about logging my food/drink intake and I can already see a difference on the scale.  Yes, ingesting 500 calories a day for two days a week every week will make you lose weight because - shocker - that's what severely restricting will do for anyone, but it's obvious that, for me, the healthy and sustainable way to take care of my body and soul is to be mindful of what I'm eating.

feeling a bit schizophrenic about officially getting married.  I'm veering between totally stressed because there's nothing I can do to move things along and totally zen because there's nothing I can do to move things along.  Just to clarify, this has nothing to do with our wedding, which I'm pretty blissed out about right now; the bureaucratic hoops we have to jump through to legally become husband and wife in the UK are just a complete headache and we seem to be having more trouble with the visa/license process than we'd expected for some reason.

clicking on Paris in Four Months, a blog I discovered recently that gorgeously chronicles a Swedish woman's new life in the City of Light.  Her photos are amazing and her story really does seem charmed.  Don't even get me started on her Instagrams... they make me desperate to go back!

linking up with siddathornton today

Frock Fridays: Lace and Bows

February 22 marked the first day of almost six straight weeks in which my work life slants heavily towards the "nights, weekends, and other duties as assigned" part of my job description.  Unfortunately, although I love what I do, it also means that my personal life is now slanting heavily towards "pasta on the couch in front of the TV."  But I really don't want to just be either a professional or a potato as we head into spring - I want to be able to meet up with my friends for fun but low-key outings.

So I'm trying to put a few coffees and brunches and shopping trips in the diary for between now and mid-April, when I go to England, and I'd love to wear something girly and springy like the outfit below for our dates!

[ dress / hair clips / earrings / lipstick / mascara / blush / bag / flats ]

linking up with {long distance loving}