Sister / And From Another Mister

I was going to write a lovely introduction to this post so that you could get to know Sarah and Erin a bit before meeting them on their vlog (their first ever!) but, actually, they pretty much say it all.  Dear readers, I give you:

Thanks, girls - love you both!

That's What She Said

In 1964, Justice Potter Stewart, an influential centrist jurist on the Supreme Court at the time, passed down an immortal judgement on obscenity as part of his opinion on the case of Jacobellis v. Ohio:

I know it when I see it.

And let's be honest: most of us see it everywhere.  (Has anyone ever watched The Office?  Yeah.  That's what she said.)  As Tom Lehrer sang in his classic satire Smut,

Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder.

When correctly viewed, everything is lewd;

I could tell you things about Peter Pan and the Wizard of Oz - there's a dirty old man!

do actually listen to the lyrics - they're so clever

My introduction to trashy novels was pretty typical, I think.  My choir, made up of 24 girls ages 12-18, went on a two-week tour to England the summer after I finished 7th grade.  On one of our long bus rides between cathedrals, I noticed the older girls huddled in the back few rows.  I'd hear one voice murmuring, followed by a burst of laughter.  I went back to check it out, and they quickly hid the book they were reading; it was just for upperclassmen, they told me, and I wasn't allowed to listen.

Dear readers, you know where this is going, don't you?  As soon as we got back to DC, I headed to the nearest bookstore and nonchalantly skimmed the shelves until I found the exact same book.  That night, I closed the door to my room and devoured it.  (At the time, I didn't know why it had to be a secret, but I knew it was.)  Since I was 12 years old, much of the book went over my head, but by the end of high school I had read almost all of the author's works - and I enjoyed them.  They were well-written and well-researched historical fiction with a decent amount of erotica thrown.  What wasn't to like?

That's why I'm still so surprised by the overwhelming reaction to the Fifty Shades of Grey books by E.L. James.  According to the New York Times, the trilogy has "electrified women across the country... for some reason it's OK for [women] to admit that they're reading this book."

I have two questions for the millions of women who propelled the books to their crowning seat at the top of bestseller lists:

1. Have you really never read trashy novels before?

2. How can you stomach the terrible writing?

Okay, fine.  I can believe that there are many women out there who, for whatever reason, have never browsed the romance aisle at their local bookstore.  Fine.  But even if you haven't, why are you lowering your standards for these books?  I can accept that trashy novels are mainly a private thing that aren't discussed in the carpool line - or at least they were until EL James took her story from the internet to paperback.  But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't expect the same level of craftsmanship in the writing as we do in the classics.  (The classics can be dirty, too, by the way: I took an English class in college where we read John Cleland's Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, which is better known as Fanny Hill.  Discussing that with 20 other students plus a revered professor was beyond awkward at the beginning, but actually we learned a lot about societal norms in the 18th century.  It was fascinating.)

My confession is that I haven't actually read all of the Fifty Shades books.  I haven't even read all of one of them.  I got about a quarter of the way in and was so disgusted by the terrible writing that I stopped.  But if you start to type "worst lines in" into the Google search box, the first suggestion that comes up is "worst lines in 50 shades of gray" and then it spews out over 1.5 million hits.  For the sake of preserving some semblance of decency, I won't rewrite any of them here, but you can find some gems on BuzzFeed and Vulture.

So I ask you, dear readers.  Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?  If so, did you like it and why?  Please explain this phenomenon to me.

And then, when you're done, go find Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure.  It'll blow your mind.

(...that's what she said.)

Sunday in the Park with Charlie

Last weekend's visit to Nana and Pappy's house in Connecticut with my sister was wonderful, but it broke my heart a bit to miss Charlie's first weekend as part of the family.  Of course he had a good time with Mom and Dad, but I swore I'd make it up to him this weekend.  So yesterday we had our first outing to the neighborhood farmers' market and today Dad and Charlie and I ventured into deepest darkest Rock Creek Park.

We've never let Charlie off the lead in public before because we've only had him for two weeks and we're not sure he knows his name yet, so we have been nervous about releasing him and possibly losing him.  But we were in a safe place and he so desperately wanted to frolic, so we unclipped his leash... and he was off!  It was almost impossible to get a good picture of him because he wasn't still for a second.  He bounded through the creek, up the bank, into the tall grasses, along fallen tree trunks, and back.

His joy was palpable, and it was simply splendid to watch him squeeze every last ounce of freedom from the afternoon.  He didn't always come back to us when we called him, but he always kept us in his sights and oriented his rambles around us.  I did manage to capture him on video - see how glorious!

He is, naturally, now totally passed out.  That much fun is exhausting!  Oof.  There's a bit of room next to him on the couch; maybe I should join him for a nap...

Frock Fridays

I love summer movies.  There are actually two kinds of summer movies: the kind that open during the summer and the kind that take place during the summer.  The first kind are usually good fun, but they're billed as seasonal blockbusters - which isn't bad in and of itself, but I have a hard time getting on board with all the hype.  The second kind can be cinema at its best, drawing you into the magic of the films while examining your own realities.

Summer is a time apart, setting a perfect scene for movies.  For students of all ages, it's a break from the routine of the academic year, a fleeting few months when, away from the confines of your desk, you can be anyone.  Because of this, so many summer movies follow a character's reinvention; we watch as children and teenagers and young adults push boundaries, test fears, and begin to mature into who they're meant to be.  I love these themes - especially when I was middle-school-aged, if I wasn't actively exploring my own limits, I was certainly dreaming about having the opportunity to do so.

It's fitting, then, that my two absolute favorite summer movies of all time focus on 12 year olds leaving the cocoon of childhood behind.  Unfortunately, however, they're not great for Frock Fridays.  Stand by Me is about a group of boys, and Now and Then features four girls but they're in shorts most of the time.  (That's sort of interesting, I guess, because I've never been a tomboy and even as a child I preferred to wear dresses, but let's not get too Freudian here, okay?)

I've been thinking a lot about summer movies - and these two in particular - since I got back from my weekend in Connecticut.  My grandparents' house is far enough from anything else that a child can get into scrapes without getting into any real trouble, and while on my walks I thought about being 12 again, grabbing a bike, and disappearing down the lanes for an afternoon, creating my own world in the woods.  I'm clearly long past the tweenage years and it's nearly impossible to return to the mindset that allows you that freedom of imagination, but I'd still love to have that sort of adventure...

[ dress / hat / bag / shoes / bike ]

I hope you have the chance to make your own adventures this weekend, dear readers.  No matter how old you are, you can always try!  At worse, you'll enjoy a lovely bike ride - at best, you'll discover a whole new realm of dreams and possibilities.

London Moaning: Olympic Shambles

Confession: I am thrilled to not be in London for the Olympics.  I know that it's an honor for London to be hosting and I do hope that it all turns out to be amazingly successful for the city, but Olympic plans and preparations have been screwing with the natives for months.

The New York Times had an amazing article a few days ago titled Olympics Leave British Complaining Even More Than Usual.  My favorite quotes are from a man named Dan Hancox, who I am going to find and befriend as soon as I get back to London:

“We’re looking at something above and beyond the solace and comfort that the British seek in gentle moaning,” said Dan Hancox, 31, a freelance writer. “The Olympics is actively antagonizing people.”  On Twitter, Mr. Hancox said that for Londoners, “it’s as if someone else is throwing a party in our house, with a huge entry fee, and we’re all locked in the basement.”

Now that the Olympics are upon us, fresh screw-ups are being discovered every day.  (See the Mail Online for classic ambulance-chaser examples.)  The wonderful people at BBC Four have even created a TV show about the mess that is the Olympics - and especially the planning and preparation therefof - called Twenty Twelve.  It's a mocumentary, which basically means I can't watch it because I'm afraid that my face will stick in a permanent cringe if I sit through an entire episode.  (Jon is addicted to it, though, and I have laughed hard - albeit awkwardly - at the bits I've seen.)

I really do hope it all goes well on every level, but I'm happy to watch from the comfort of my couch (and not because I can't leave my house which, according to the six emails I have received from TfL in the last 25 days, would be more or less impossible if I were to try to use public transportation).  How about you, readers in London?  What do you think of the Olympic invasion - and how are you going to cope?

Wedding Wednesday: Setting the Budget

Even though you're supposed to have a budget conversation with all the relevant parties (your fiancé, of course, plus both sets of parents) before you start planning your wedding, we didn't.  Jon and I dove right into our venue search even before knowing what we could afford.  To be honest, I wouldn't recommend this method, but it was the only way we could get a handle on any sort of financial window.  You see, there are a few US-based websites that tell you how much weddings cost in different parts of the country - for instance, an August wedding in DC costs an average of $29,732 while in NYC it's $37,037, but the UK wedding industry is only just catching up.  I was able to find some estimates for the price of getting married in London, but there's nothing online about how much it costs to have a wedding in the English countryside.

So, while Jon and I were researching our options for a wedding venue, we also did a basic search of other suppliers and vendors in the area.  We put together a proposal for my parents, who are very generously paying for our celebration, that included a cost window; they then considered our research alongside their own financial capabilities and came back to us with a figure.

Because I am an Excel goddess, I decided the wise thing to do would be to make a supersophisticated budget spreadsheet. First, we again turned to the internet to see what, on average, couples spent on different aspects of their weddings.  (Find some here: Real Simple, Martha Stewart, The Knot, and Wedding Wire; Wedding Chicks just posted an excellent infographic today about this.)  I put those averages in the spreadsheet as percentages alongside our total budget and calculated the corresponding cost breakdown.  Once I'd finished that in the abstract, I tweaked some of the percentages based on what we'd be spending on the pieces we knew we wanted - at this point, we had reserved Bruisyard Hall and we had figured out what a civil ceremony cost in the county, which changed the averages slightly.

As you can see, we're going to have to deal with an issue that most couples can't even imagine: planning a wedding in two currencies.  Our budget is in dollars, but most of our money will be spent in pounds sterling.  This is trickier than just doing consistent multiplication and/or division across the spreadsheet because of the fluctuating exchange rate, which means that what we have to spend in pounds sterling changes constantly.

Let's say my budget is $10,000.  On July 12, I would have had £6,480.46 to spend.  On July 19, it would have dropped to £6,362.51.  That's a difference of £117.95 within a week.  Yikes!  What this means is that we're having to be more flexible than usual, I think, in saying "I want" about the smaller pieces of the wedding.  The big pieces - like the venue and the catering and the photography - are non-negotiable, price-wise; we just have to hope that we pay off the balance of their fees when the exchange rate is favorable.  But we're going to have to find other ways to prepare for unexpected changes in our budget.  For instance, I have two ideas to talk through with potential florists: one that involves lots of flowers, if the exchange rate drops, and, if the exchange rate rises, one that involves strategic flowers but relies on other decorations to maximize their impact.  It's certainly keeping us on our toes!

I'd love to hear if anyone else has planned a wedding in two currencies - and even if you haven't, I'm always open to financial tips or suggestions!  This is a lot to keep a handle on, and we are grateful for all the help we can get.

A New England Summer

all photos taken July 21-23, 2012

#nofilter

Weekend in Numbers: Connecticut

This past Saturday morning, I took an early flight to Boston, rented a car at Logan, swung into town to pick up my sister, and then drove to the northwest corner of Connecticut to spend the weekend at our grandparents' house.  We had a fantastic time, though I did wonder...

Tomorrow's post will be filled with photos from our mini-vacation, but today I'll share the details with you in numbers:

We heard What Makes You Beautiful approximately 10 times/hour while listening to the radio in the car on the way to/from CT.  It’s a fun song, but that’s just excessive.

Pappy tried to start 9 conversations with Nana as they swam laps together in the pool.  Nana was wearing earplugs, so Pappy was largely unsuccessful.

I suggested we bring Charlie up to CT 8 times.  He’ll have such a good time as a country dog with all the fields to run through, the ponds and streams to swim in, and the wildlife to sniff out in the woods!

It’s possible that we each consumed 7 spare ribs for dinner on Saturday night.  What?  Pappy is a really good cook!

Sarah waxed lyrical as she tried to explain 6 inside jokes from her time at Trinity as we passed through Hartford.  One had something to do with a closed mountain.  That's all I know.

I arrived at the airport at 5am to catch the shuttle back to DC this morning.  A calorific breakfast sandwich and a gorgeous sunrise made the hour more bearable.

Sarah and I spent 4 hours sunning ourselves by the pool.  Don't worry, we slathered on SPF 30.

I explained 3 blogging terms to Nana: linkup, vlog, and sponsorship.  She now understands one of them.

We are so lucky to have 2 loving grandparents who are brilliantly vibrant and overwhelmingly generous.  I’m already looking forward to my next trip to New York in the autumn to see them again.

All in all, it was 1 amazing weekend!

via

Cooking with Charlie

It's official: I'm a middle-aged mom.  It's Bethesda Restaurant Week at the moment and I could have gone out to dinner last night... but instead I chose to spend the evening at home with Charlie.  Since  I'm feeling overwhelmingly guilty about being out of town for his first full weekend as part of our family, I thought that maybe we could squeeze two days' worth of cuddles in last night.  I mean, just look at this face...

Wouldn't you trade steak frites for some Charlie loving?  Well, I did, and it was a great decision.  But I've got to be honest with you.  I stayed home, snuggled with my puppy, and still managed to have a great dinner.  How's that, you ask?  Well, I'll tell you!  I made the most amazing broccoli fritters - and I fit them in around Charlie's schedule!

Broccoli Fritters
(from Smitten Kitchen)
makes 10

3 c chopped broccoli
1 lg egg
1/2 c flour
1/3 c grated parmesan
1 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp Kosher salt
sprinkle of Cayenne pepper
oil

Chop the broccoli into 1" florets and cook until al dente.  I steamed it in a bowl in the microwave, with some water in the bottom and covered with cling film, for five minutes.  (Once the microwave has started, take the opportunity to throw a squeaky toy around with your dog.)  Then drain the broccoli and set aside to cool.  (This is when you can serve the doggie his dinner.)

Beat the egg in a large bowl, and then combine well with the flour, cheese, garlic, salt, and pepper.  Further chop the broccoli into smaller pieces; they don't have to be uniform and can be as messy as you want.  Mix the broccoli in with the batter and cover and refrigerate.  (This is your chance to go on a post-dinner walk.  Don't forget to sniff everything and jump in a few puddles!)

(When you get back, someone's going to be tuckered out and will probably pass out in a corner of the kitchen, leaving you free to finish your fritters.)  Heat a large, heavy skillet over medium heat.  Once hot, add oil to coat the bottom.  Once the oil is hot, scoop up a two-tablespoon mound of broccoli batter and drop it into the pan, flattening slightly with the back of the pan.  Repeat with additional batter.  Cook the fritters for 3 to 4 minutes on each side or until golden, adding oil between batches as needed.  Drain the fritters on a plate covered with paper towels.

I enjoyed my broccoli fritters with a slice of tomato and another of mozzarella on top - delish! They would also be good dipped in Greek yogurt or smothered with pesto.  (However, how you eat them without attracting canine attention is up to you.  I had to be sneaky to avoid having them stolen from the plate!)

What are you cooking this weekend, dear readers?  Anything that includes a break for cuddles?

Frock Fridays

I'm saying goodbye to Washington, DC this weekend - that's right, it's time for another few days away! The plan is to fly up to Boston, where my sister lives, grab a rental car from the airport, swing into town to pick up Sarah, and then drive three hours west to my grandparents' house in Connecticut.  It's in the middle of classic New England nowhere; it's beautiful and lush in the summer, and I'm really looking forward to getting away from the buzz.  I don't know if Sarah and I have ever visited Nana and Pappy there without Mom and Dad, so it will be an extra special trip.

The weekend will probably be spent in jersey dresses and bathing suits - very low-key and comfortable.  But if I were to follow along with {av} and her friends, I'd be on a flight to Europe, channeling Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday!

[ dress / bag / shoes / lipstick / notebook / camera / passport case ]

What's On Your Bucket List?

I know, you're supposed to get a Wedding Wednesday post today - but I seem to be hooked on vlogs, so you'll just have to wait until next week to get an inside peek on how we started figuring out our budget in two currencies!  Kate tweeted about the linkup that's being hosted on Hope {Squared} today, and it got me thinking...

I adore lists.  I've got lists out the wazoo.  I even put things like "check email" on my work to-do list and "shower" on my home to-do list because I love crossing things out.  But, for the most part, the lists I make are finite.  Sure, I had that list of "things to do before I leave London," which I stupidly deleted after I got back to DC without saving anywhere, but the point is that it had an end date.  I like lists because I like goals and I like deadlines.  (Me, type A?  Nah!)  That means I'm not a huge fan of life bucket lists; I guess you could say that death is the deadline, but that's a bit morbid.  So I'm excited to share this vlog with you, but let's call it:

How about you, dear readers?  What's on your bucket list?  Any goals match mine?  I'd love to hear!

Currently...

Okay, yes, this is a blantant rip-off of Lauren's series but I've loved the idea ever since I first found her blog and since we're total besties already - I mean, we've exchanged emails which I'm pretty sure qualifies us to be bosom buddies - I don't think she'll mind.  So, without further ado, I give you:

CURRENTLY

reading  Suze Orman's 9 Steps to Financial Freedom. It's embarrassing how little I know about taking care of my money, and it's time to start making smart decisions.

watching Smash on NBC On Demand - it's a perfect summer drama!  I find myself singing snatches of the songs as I go about my day.  These two are my favorites.

eating spaghetti squash; last night I mixed it with leftover ratatouille for a quick and healthy dinner and today it will be topped with a diced avocado and a sprinkling of parm for a delicious cold lunch.

running every morning with Charlie through the park.  This morning we ran 2.4 miles in just over 37 minutes, though he would have liked to go faster.  He'll be a good training partner, I can tell!

listening to The Unthanks, a folk group from Northumberland, whose unadorned melodies are hauntingly beautiful.  I've had their album Here's the Tender Coming on repeat for weeks.

counting down the weeks until I get to visit Jon in England - we've done 6 and have 8.5 to go.  From 30 May to the September trip is the longest time we'll spend apart between now and the wedding next August. 

following the response to the Anne-Marie Slaughter article in a recent issue of The Atlantic on women, work, and having it all.  The feedback has been as fascinating as the original piece!

loving coming home from work to the sweetest dog in the world.  Charlie greeted me with such joy when I walked in the door, covering me with kisses and contorting himself around my legs.

hating mosquitoes!  Genetically modified anything makes me nervous, but I will be a happier girl if they can wipe out all mosquitoes everywhere.  They can't actually serve any evolutionary purpose, can they?

How about you, dear readers?  What are you up to currently?

Ratatouille

In honor of Bastille Day on Saturday, I decided to cook something French for dinner; something fresh and seasonal to honor the summer, of course, but also something quintessentially Gallic.  As much as I love fancy meals, whenever I feel the need to make regional dishes I always find myself wanting "peasant food," and ratatouille fit the bill perfectly.

  

I'd actually only had ratatouille once before - my friend and former flatmate Christine made it for lunch when we lived together in London in the summer of 2009.  Her version was a silky stew, and I remember that she slaved over it for hours, pretending to slap my hand away every time I snuck a bite from the pot but loving the fact that I simply couldn't stay away from the stove.  I knew I wanted to make a ratatouille like hers but from a recipe that required a lot less effort.

The ratatouille in the Ottolenghi cookbook looked intricate, as did Julia Child's recipe.  (Big shocker there, obviously!)  Mark Bittman asked for his ratatouille to be oven-baked; it was really more of a tian, which I've made several times before and loved but didn't want to repeat.  I wanted a stew.  I wanted a melange of hearty but refreshing flavors with a tender texture.  Essentially, I wanted to braise my favorite summer vegetables.

So I turned to The Kitchn, from where I adapted the below recipe, and two hours after I picked up my knife we were tucking into the most delicious ratatouille.

Ratatouille
makes 6 servings

1 large eggplant
1 large yellow onion
4 medium courgettes
2 large tomatoes
2 tbs olive oil
2 tbs minced garlic
1 small bay leaf
2 fresh sprigs of thyme
1/4 c fresh basil, sliced into ribbons
salt and pepper to taste

Chop the eggplant into bite-sized pieces.  Place in a colander over a large bowl and toss with a teaspoon of salt.  Let sit while you prepare the rest of the vegetables.

Dice the onions and chop the courgettes and tomatoes into bite-sized pieces; put each in its own bowl.

Warm a teaspoon of olive oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat.  Add the onions and a generous pinch of salt and sauté for 10 minutes, stirring frequently.  Transfer the onions back to their bowl.

Add another teaspoon of olive oil to the Dutch oven and sauté the courgettes with a generous pinch of salt for five minutes, stirring frequently.  Transfer the courgettes back to their bowl.

Rinse the eggplant under running water.  Squeeze the cubes to wring out all excess moisture.  Warm two teaspoons of olive oil in the Dutch oven and sauté the eggplant, stirring frequently, for about 10 minutes.  Transfer the eggplant to a bowl.

Warm another teaspoon of olive oil in the Dutch oven and sauté the garlic for a minute, scraping up any browned bits on the bottom of the pot.  Add the tomatoes, bay leaf, and thyme.  Continue to scrape up the brown glaze on the bottom.

Return the rest of the vegetables back to the pot and mix completely.  Bring to a simmer and then turn the heat down to low.  Cover and simmer for 90 minutes, stirring occasionally.  When you have taken the pot off the heat, remove the bay leaf and the sprigs of thyme and then sprinkle in the basil.

Serve as you like - and enjoy!

We layered couscous under our ratatouille and served chicken kabobs marinated in yogurt alongside.  It is even better the next day, eaten cold; my preference is to pile it on a slice of brown bread smeared with goat cheese, but the possibilities are endless!

A New Addition

No, not that kind of addition - although, now that I'm engaged, every time I tell someone that I have big news they ask if I'm pregnant.  I am not with child.  Can we move on, please?

Great.  Let's move on to the new baby in the house.  Dear readers, meet Charlie:

Isn't he everything we wanted?  We were supposed to go see him last week, but his foster mom lived really far away so it ended up being easier to meet at yesterday's adoption fair.  We arranged to get there early so that we could claim him first, which we did, but as we wandered around after having signed all the papers it was wonderful to see so many labs looking for their forever homes and people looking for their forever dogs!  Even after we left, it was fun to follow Lab Rescue on Twitter to see what a successful day it had been.

If my Instagram feed is anything to go by, you're going to be seeing a lot of Charlie on this blog from here on out... careful, you might overdose on the cute!

If you have any questions about adopting a rescue dog, please don't hesitate to ask.  I can tell already that this is going to be an amazing experience.

Les Français Sont...

Have I told you yet about the best pick-up line I've ever heard?  Picture the scene: I was in Paris, obviously; it was March 2007, just before I met the guy who would eventually lead to my first move to London, around 10pm on a perfectly crisp and clear night and I was heading home to my apartment off the rue St. Michel from a rehearsal at St. Sulpice.  As I passed the Musée de Luxembourg, I smiled and nodded at a man crossing my path.  He stopped.

Excusez-moi, he said, mais vous êtes très jolie.  Voulez-vous dîner avec moi?

I was a bit surprised by his forwardness, but recovered well.  Je ne peux pas.  J'ai un petit ami.

Ah, he replied, not deterred by my fictional boyfriend.  Il est français?

Non, il est allemand.  (I have no idea where that came from, by the way.  I don't think I've ever dated a German.)

Dommage, said the Frenchman.  Les français sont magnifique à faire l'amour.

And with that startling pronouncement, he continued on his way.

personal photos taken 2007-2011

On that note, let me wish you a happy Bastille Day, mes amours!  I'll probably head to one of these parties this evening - whatever your plans may be, I hope that your weekend is filled with macarons, champagne, and love.  After all, les français sont magnifique à faire l'amour.  That's what I hear, at least!

translation:

Excuse me, but you are very pretty.  Will you have dinner with me?

I can't.  I have a boyfriend.

Ah.  Is he Fremch?

No, he is German.

Pity. The French are magnificent at making love.

Frock Fridays

One of my favorite "goodbye DC" evenings before moving to London in June 2010 was a night at Wolf Trap - the music was boisterous and the company even more so, and it was such a wonderful way to close out that chapter of my life.  Now that I'm back in DC, I can't wait to return to Wolf Trap to watch a concert from the lawn.  They've got a great line-up this summer, and my pick is the Gipsy Kings in August.  I'll bring a Spanish-themed picnic, of course, and we'll twirl to the spicy vibrancy of the guitars as the sun sets.  Who wants to come with me?

[ dress / bracelet / earrings / bag / shoes ]

Midweek Mantra

via

My high school boyfriend used to say that he didn't expect much from people because then he wouldn't be disappointed by them.  It was such a dark and worldly view, I thought at the time.  He must have been through a lot to be so jaded - maybe I could be the one to teach him that sometimes dreams do come true!  (Hey, I was 16.  We're all idiots at that age.  I bet you made inappropriate choices about your love life then, too.  Stop judging me.)

In the decade since that relationship, I've realized this: [expletive] that [expletive].  Loving someone is all about expecting things from them - whether it's as mundane as taking out the trash every week or as meaningful as understanding when you need help without you having to ask for it.  And those from whom you expect the world should be flattered, because it means that you'd go to the ends of the earth to be there for them.

Yes, it can hurt when your loved ones don't live up to your expectations.  But that doesn't mean you should stop expecting extraordinary things, because they will come.  They will.

Wedding Wednesdays: Venue Search

Technically, I think you're supposed to figure out your wedding budget before looking at venues, but we did it backwards - we dove right into our search before having a handle on our financial parameters.  I'll explain why next week when we talk about budgets!

By late March, we knew that we wanted to get married in Suffolk near Jon's parents' house.  We also knew we wanted to have a civil ceremony rather than a church wedding, so we needed to find a licensed venue that suited our aesthetic.  (The UK is very strict about where and when you can legally get married; for instance, you can't hold ceremonies outside or after 6pm.)  Because I didn't have a clue what was available, I turned to my best friend on the interwebs: Google.

Once you've removed all of the religious options for wedding venues, the only possibilities remaining in the area are hotels and stately homes.  We decided that we wanted the latter and that we preferred a venue that wasn't in or near a big town.

view of the back of the house from the far side of the trout pond

I narrowed us down to three gorgeous options after an exhaustive search - which basically means that I spent a few days looking at pretty pictures online - and talked them through with Jon.  Each venue had something different to recommend it and we were excited about checking out all three.

We were able to schedule our first visit for Easter weekend, when Jon and I were supposed to be in Suffolk anyway, and spent Good Friday morning being shown around Bruisyard Hall.  We were blown away by the beauty of the venue - even Jon and his mother, who are jaded and immune to the magic of centuries-old houses, were impressed.  The house was in the midst of a major redevelopment project and we could see the difference between the "before" and "after" pieces of the estate, but the house was gorgeous regardless and we could tell that the modernization would only enhance the charm of the ancient hall.  Paul, the manager, was fantastic; his love for the property and excitement about its potential were so clear and contagious.  We were smitten.

the bridal suite

However, we recognized that it wasn't practical to sign with the first venue we saw, so we headed back to Suffolk the following weekend to visit the other two options.  Well, in theory, anyway...

The second place we were supposed to see cancelled our appointment the day before.  Yes, you read that correctly: they cancelled on us the day before.  We had scheduled the visit two weeks earlier; the manager assured us that her assistant would be more than able to answer our questions even though she herself wouldn't be on the property to show us around.  The day before our appointment, when I called to confirm the time, we were informed that the assistant was no longer available and that we'd have to reschedule.  I was stunned.  Not only had they not extended us the courtesy of letting us know in good time that things had changed, but also the manager I spoke to seemed unbelievably blasé about it all.  I was so unimpressed by my experience that, even though the venue was beautiful and sounded like a good fit for us, we decided not to reschedule the appointment.

The third venue - or second, I guess, depending on how you count - that we were interested in was more of a success.  It was lovely and intimate, with a beautiful garden and a church-like feel to the architecture that we liked.  Bruisyard Hall had the advantage of a beautiful day when we visited, but the dark sky enhanced the mood of the last venue - and, honestly, we basically have an 80% chance of getting married on a cloudy or rainy day anyway given that, you know, it's England - so it was good to get an idea of what bad weather might look like.  However, while the manager of the third property was very friendly, we felt like we kept hearing "no" whenever we asked questions.  Every time we explored our options with her or brought up possibilities that she hadn't specifically included in the package, she either told us that it wasn't possible or that we'd have to pay extra.  We felt a bit limited - whereas Paul had made us feel like Bruisyard Hall would be ours to enjoy to the fullest for our wedding weekend, the manager of this venue made us feel like we were imposing.

 the Banqueting Hall in the barn

So, a week later, we called Bruisyard Hall and put our wedding date in their diary in pencil.  Pen would come once we'd defined our budget!

all images are of Bruisyard Hall and are taken from their website

Self-Serve Indulgence

There's a phrase that I've been using almost on a daily basis since I moved back to DC:

it must have happened while I was in London

That house up the road doubled in size after a renovation?  It must have happened while I was in London.

Every Borders store has closed?  It must have happened while I was in London.

My favorite clothing boutique moved to a bigger shop?  It must have happened while I was in London.

A self-serve frozen yogurt place opened between my house and the metro?  It must have happened while I was in London.

Wait - there's such a thing as self-serve frozen yogurt?  Oh my giddy aunt, there's such a thing as self-serve frozen yogurt! 

Maybe this has been around for a while, but I think it's the best thing that has ever happened.  Ever.  In, like the history of the world.  Do you guys know about this?  Why didn't you tell me!  Meanies.

I love frozen yogurt, but I can never finish even children's portions.  I end up having about half and then tipping the rest into the bin (and then eating the cone, natch).  Self-serve is perfect because I can just have a little bit - I satisfy my sweet tooth but don't feel like I need to eat a lot to satisfy the cost of the ice cream.  Plus, they've got an extensive bar of toppings which don't cost extra: you pay by weight regardless of what's in your cup!  So I'm able to have not much more than 200 calories of chocolate goodness for under $2.00 - it's ideal.

NYC 23 June 2012; afternoon snack 

(non-self-serve, which is why there's so much of it)

Becoming a Forever Home

This is Snickers:

Snickers was the best dog a family could hope for.  I can't even - I cry every time I try to describe him, so all I will say here is that he had the squishiest face and that we loved him very much.*

We got Snickers as a little puppy when I was nine years old.  My memory is that there were three males left to be claimed, and the breeder explained that one was show quality, one was breeding quality, and one was pet quality.  (I'll give you one chance to guess which we picked.)  My whole childhood was wrapped up in Snickers; when he died in September 2008, we were devastated.  However, at that point he had been really sick for a while, so saying goodbye was the kindest thing we could do.

Snickers can never be replaced, but we're finally ready to move on and start again.  That's right - we're getting another lab!

Our application to adopt a rescue lab been approved!  We are over the moon.  We knew we didn't want  a puppy, so the best way to get a grown-up lab was to adopt one; there are so many amazing dogs out there and the idea of them waiting for their forever families breaks my heart.  (Actually, just the phrase "forever home" makes me tear up, but that's because I'm a total pushover when it comes to dogs.)  We submitted our application a few weeks ago, got interviewed by a coordinator who then checked our references and talked to our old vet, and are now going through the process of talking to foster families to find a good match.

These are our paramaters:
- aged 1-2 years
- under 60 lbs
- moderate energy, outgoing, and loving

We really don't care about color as personality is more important, but most of the doggies who have fit the above requirements have been black.  I'm sort of happy about that because it will mean that s/he won't even try to be Snickers, though Snickers was a big boy at 90 pounds so I doubt we'll get confused anyway.  We've got some conversations with a few foster families scheduled for this week and they tell you to bring a collar and leash when you go to meet the dogs in case you fall in love, which means that we might have a new lab by the weekend!

Don't you want one, too?

Live video by Ustream

*Sorry, Mom and Sarah, if you're reading this at work; you're probably crying anyway and I know it's awkward to be messy at your desk.

Porch + Rocking Chair + Iced Tea

Okay, I promise that I'll soon stop being That Person Who Moans About The Weather All The Time - read this to understand the difference between moaning and complaining - but it is just so [expletive] miserable in DC.  In the past couple of weeks, we've broken a handful of heat records, and today marks the 11th straight day of temperatures over 95° and the fourth straight day of temperatures over 100°.  (For all of you dear readers in the UK who haven't taken off your wellies since May and who are layering jumpers under your raincoats, that means we're sweltering in the high 30s Celcius. You probably still win the Miserable Weather Contest anyway.  Darn.)

The problem with heat like this is that going outside seems like punishment - I don't know for what, but even the short wait at the bus stop to head home from work feels like I've been dropped into purgatory for a few awful minutes.  What I've missed most over the past two weeks of this dreadful heat is my end-of-the-day ritual: sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, iced tea in hand, enjoying the garden.

So when the heat breaks -  which it's supposed to do tomorrow, thank goodness - my first order of business will be to make some delicious iced tea and take it to my rocking chair on the porch.  I think I should get creative, though, to celebrate the return of temperatures in the 80s with some new (spiked) recipes...

top left / top right / bottom right / bottom left

I hope you've all had a beautiful weekend, dear readers, and that you're staying comfortable wherever you are!

(By the way, in the time it's taken me to write this post - my computer is deeply unhappy, so it's taken a while - the sky has clouded over and I've just heard rumblings from the sky.  Another storm is on the way!  Please, God, let us not lose power again.)

Frock Fridays

{av}'s challenge for us this week was to sport the red, white, and blue - which I am, in a way!  I was blinged out for the 4th in my sparkly American flag earrings, but there's no reason to stop wearing patriotic colors just because it's no longer Independence Day.  After all, I love this country all the time.

But I also love other countries sometimes, and sometimes happens to be tomorrow.  My mother and her friend have a subscription to the ballet, and I get to go on Saturday since Mom is out of town.  We'll be seeing The Paris Opera Ballet perform Giselle at the Kennedy Center and I'm beyond excited.  I'm not really a dance person, to be honest, but there's something so beautiful about the ballet, like reality is suspended for every jump and twirl.  Plus, Giselle is one of the most French pieces out there, and I need a little je ne sais quoi in my life right now.  (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

While all the little girls in the audience will be wearing bows and sequins, I might have reached the age where tulle and taffeta is a bit creepy.  I think I'll stick to a classic shiftdress paired with a smart blazer - because the Kennedy Center is unbelievably chilly especially in the height of summer - and cute sandals, simple studs, and a grownup bag.

So for today's Frock Fridays, let's celebrate...

[ dress / blazer / earrings / bag / shoes ]