Frock Fridays

Okay, I admit it - I'm going to take the easy road for today's Frock Fridays.  I don't feel too bad about it because you've definitely got your weekly dose of style from me already this week (have you entered the Shabby Apple giftcard giveaway yet, by the way?) and because, actually, what I'm posting is pretty indicative of my sartorial leanings in the summer.

Yup, I'm talking about jersey.  Whether you're getting dressed to go to work and the mercury's already pushing 80 or you just want to collapse on the porch with a glass of iced tea at the end of a long day, whether you're throwing on a coverup over your bathing suit at the beach or pulling out a cute frock for that rooftop party - jersey is the way to go.

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You know where I get my favorite jersey dresses?  Mom catalogues.  You know, the ones that have appeared in the mail pile every month since you were a kid - Lands' End, LLBean, Garnet Hill, Boden...  Their dresses are unbelievably comfy and universally flattering and always well-made - what's not to like?

I've got a busy weekend ahead, and I know I'll be reaching into my closet for some jersey.  How about you?

Dear 20-Something Lifestyle Bloggers

I've fallen horribly behind on my blogroll reading since moving back to DC, so while I was on the train to New York last weekend I decided to take advantage of Amtrak's free wi-fi to get up to speed on your adventures.  Now that I'm current, I have to say I'm a little frustrated and disappointed by how often some of the same themes have appeared in the blogs I read, and so I decided to write an open letter to my blogging community.  This might lose me a few friends, but I hope that what I have to say might speak to some you.

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Dear 20-something lifestyle bloggers,

Let me start with this: you are amazing.  You inspire me with your creativity and your passion and your drive.  Every time I read one of your blogs, I am blown away by the power of what you have already accomplished as well as the promise of what you will achieve as you continue on your adventures.  You, over there, with a couple months of posts and a few dozen followers under your belt, and you, over there, with advanced skills and a devoted readership of hundreds - you're both incredible, and I'm so glad to have the opportunity to get to know you through your blogs.

One of the things that I love about you is that you are constantly challenging yourself.  Especially when so many people seem to be satisfied with the bare minimum, it is heartening to connect with women who set off to make their dreams come true.  I am so proud of every step you take towards that horizon, and so honored that I am able to be a part of your journey.

Part of the reason you're able to achieve so much is because your dream is mighty.  But let's not kid ourselves: it's also because you're a perfectionist and/or you're afraid of failure.  Over the past few months, as the Things I'm Afraid To Tell You movement has gathered steam, I've read along as women have admitted to these two "weaknesses" and I've been disappointed each time either has been mentioned as a fault to be hidden.  Do you know what?  I don't think either of them is something to be ashamed of.  I think that our society would be much more advanced if more people set higher standards for themselves and others.

That being said, I also think that comparing yourself to your peers only gets you so far.  One of the most popular graphics on the Things I'm Afraid To Tell You posts says "comparison is the thief of joy."  I could not agree more - and, from what you've written, it seems like you're on the same page.  The thing is, though, I sometimes feel like you're just paying lip service to the sentiment.  As they say in twelve-step programs: recognizing the problem is only the first step to fixing it.  After that, you have to actually do something about it.

That's why I get so frustrated when you declare that you're going to stop comparing yourselves to others and then, the following week, bemoan your relative lack of progress in achieving your dreams.  Yes, there are bloggers out there with so many comments on every post that they can't possibly all be answered.  Yes, there are designers carrying portfolios that are thick with publicly acclaimed projects.  Yes, there are entrepreneurs whose gambles have paid off and are now small business owners.  These women exist, and there's nothing wrong with using them as examples of success - as long as you do so productively.

They found ways that worked for them in a timeframe that worked for them.  I have a challenge for you: take your perfectionism and your fear of failure, and forge your own path in your own time.  If you're going to compare yourself to women who have made it, whatever it is, remember to keep things in perspective; success is always comparative, but you have to keep your view of it proportionate to where you have come from and where you want to go or you will go crazy.

I can't wait to see where your dreams take you, ladies.  But when you look in the mirror, make sure you see yourself - who you are, who you've been, and who you want to be.  All those other women can be there in the reflection, too, as long as they're standing behind you. Just don't slow yourself down by getting in your own way.

With all the love and optimism in my heart,
Betsy

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Wedding Wednesdays: Country Mouse or City Mouse?

Officially, Jon and I will have been engaged for 15 months and two weeks by the time our big day rolls around.  That gives us oodles of time to plan a wedding, right?  Well, sort of...

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All the major bridal resources publish suggested timelines detailing when a couple needs to do which parts of putting together their day, but early on we knew we needed to get creative because I'd in the States for the majority of the planning process.  So we started planning the wedding before we were actually officially engaged - which made for some slightly awkward conversations with vendors, I can tell you!

The first big decision we faced was where to get married.  Traditionally, couples wed in the bride's hometown, but the life I shared with Jon was in England and we wanted to celebrate that.  The choice then became London, on the one hand, or the Suffolk, on the other.  I have to admit that I fought hard in London's corner, but Jon and the country won - and I'm so glad they did.  When we sat down and thought about the feel we wanted for our wedding, we realized that getting out of the city was the best option.

The phrase we kept coming back to as we started to get a sense of what we wanted was "country elegant" - country without being rustic and elegant without being glamorous.  The corner of Suffolk where Jon's family lives fits that description perfectly and we have so many lovely memories of escaping to the coast to see them; we want our guests, even those who aren't flying across an ocean to join us, to feel like they're on holiday for our wedding weekend, too.

And besides, how many old stately homes set in acres of rolling fields can you find in London?

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We talked all of this through with Jon's mother in March, and agreed that we'd go look at venues while we were in Suffolk for Easter.  Next week on Wedding Wednesdays: the search begins!

Shabby Apple Giveaway!

I don't know if you guys remember, but about six months ago I wrote a love letter to Shabby Apple, a company that specializes in vintage-inspired clothes for women.  Since then, I've continued to drool over their frocks, and have even picked out the outfit I want to wear to my engagement shoot from their amazing selection of day dresses.  So you can imagine how thrilled I was when they contacted me about hosting a giveaway! (I mean, obviously I was a little annoyed that they weren't simply giving me the $50 gift card, but it's okay because you guys are awesome.)

These dresses are perfect for gadding around Europe - come on, girls, who's got a holiday planned?

 To enter for this $50 giftcard, you must:

like Shabby Apple on Facebook

follow Betsy Transatlantically

Each of those counts as one entry; for extra chances to win:

tell us which Shabby Apple item is your fave

follow betsyinlondon on Twitter

tweet about this giveaway

Please leave a comment on this post for each entry.  You've got five chances to win - who knows what could happen!  A winner will be drawn next Tuesday, July 3.  As a bonus, Shabby Apple is offering you 10% off any purchase you make in the next month - just in case you can't wait - which you can access with the code betsy10off.  Good luck, ladies!

Monday Notes

Hello, dear readers!  Did you have a wonderful summer weekend?  I'm actually okay with starting the week because I'm a bit frolicked out after New York - who would have thought that working a proper job would serve as a respite from the weekends?  Whoops.

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Just a few quick pieces as we head back into the swing of things:

→ I don't think I ever publicly acknowledged all the hard work that Joelle from A Charming Occasion put into her reboot of my blog header - lady, you're the best!  Thank you for not even blinking when, two months after you completely upgraded my blog design, I told you we needed to make a change.  It was such a delight to work with you!

→ You might notice that I've changed the settings for how you can comment on this blog.  That's because I got tired of the spammers trying to sell us drugs.  (If you want the links, though, let me know and I'll hook you up.  No, just kidding.  No illegal activities here, officer!)  It shouldn't affect my actual readers/followers, but just email me if you run up against problems and I'll see what I can do to sort it all out.

→ Speaking of comments, can I ask you to do me a favor?  Please include your email when you comment!  I'd love to respond to each of you, but I can't do that if your email isn't attached to your comment and/or your blog profile.

→ I indulged in a rant-ette last week on Twitter about how frustrating I find it when blogs include rampant (and, often, recurrent) grammatical and/or spelling errors.  I know that none of us is immune to making mistakes, so please do call me out if you catch me in the wrong!

On that note, have a great week, lovelies - I hope it's perfectly beautiful wherever you are!  (And if you're in England, I'll try to send you some of our sun and heat.  There's no sense in jumpers and tights being worn this far into summer!)

I'll Take Manhattan

I have a unique relationship with New York.  Everyone says that, I guess, but that doesn't mean it's not true for each of us.  My parents both grew up in the city and my grandparents still live there; as a child, we spent so much time in Manhattan that it felt like a home away from home, and then when I went to Columbia it became, in fact, home.

Living in New York for those four years was amazing - and I never want to live in New York again.  I love heading north to see my family and friends and to rediscover my old haunts, and my heart swells every time the skyline appears, but it's somewhere I'm really happy to just visit often.  I love stepping back into that life I had, throwing myself into who I was and remembering how incredible it was to be a New Yorker.  And then I love going home, and being who I am now.

All that said, I had a wonderful weekend in the city.  I gallivanted up and down Lex on Saturday with two of my bests from college, enjoying bloody Marys and spa treatments; the wedding in the evening was absolutely beautiful and such a joyous way to reconnect with old friends.  On Sunday, my father and I had brunch with my aunt and uncle before going to Grandma's old apartment to continue the process of saying goodbye.  We had time before catching a train back to DC to walk the length of the High Line, which I'd never explored before.

As they say, we'll turn Manhattan into an isle of joy...

Frock Fridays

I'm such a jet-setter - a weekend in Chicago there, another in New York here... what a life!

Yep, I'm headed to the Big Apple tonight, and I can't wait.  Officially, I'm going up for a friend's wedding on Saturday, but of course I've packed the two days to the brim.  My grandparents have very graciously agreed to put me up while I'm in town, so I'm really looking forward to spending some quiet time with them high above the busy streets.  A few of my closest girls from college and I have a schmancy brunch planned for Saturday morning, after which I'll run around the city getting reacquainted with my old haunts - and grabbing a quick and cheap pedicure, natch - before getting ready for the evening's festivities.  Think the outfit below will work for everything I've got going on during the day?  I love the pop of the Tiffany blue against the neutral dress and shoes!  And I can't resist pink toesies...

[ dress / shoes / necklace / bag / nailpolish / mascara ]

Sunday will be a bit more somber: my father will join me in New York, and we'll spend the day going though his late mother's apartment.  It will be sad, but I'm thankful for the chance to reflect on the full life she lived and the loving relationship we enjoyed.

I hope you all have wonderful weekends, too, dear readers, wherever they may take you.  

Summer Goals

Yesterday, DC sweated in 97° temperatures, and it's supposed to go up to 100° today.  If it hadn't felt like summer before, we now know that it's definitely here!  Thunderstorms on Friday evening are predicted to cool things down a bit for the weekend, thank goodness, but this sort of weather makes for a classic DC summer: the kind where you pull on a cardigan for the air conditioned chill of your desk but are smacked in the face by a smog of humidity when you leave the office, where any outdoor activities are scheduled before 10am or after 6pm to avoid the oppressive daytime heat, and where the pavement shimmers beneath your feet as you walk through the city streets.  But classic DC summers are also marked by the sounds of children playing in neighborhood parks in the evenings, the smells of charcoal smoldering as meat smokes on the grill on the weekends, and the glimmering of fireflies through the trees in the dusk.  It's summer, it's home, and I love it.

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I thought I should take the solstice to set myself some goals for the summer - here they are:

→  keep logging my meals/snacks throughout the day to focus on what, when, and why I eat.

→  maintain my running program so that I can finish a 5k in 35 minutes by September

→  continue my clothing spending freeze while challenging myself to dress more creatively every day

→  take pity on Jon and promise not to mention wedding planning every single time we talk

→  enjoy the relationships I've started making with local bloggers and develop them into real friendships

So, basically, I want to take better care of myself and of those I love!  What are your summer goals?

Wedding Wednesday: A Long Engagement

You saw the engagement announcement that Jon and I posted last month, and I admitted that he had actually proposed a week earlier, but unofficially we'd been talking about getting married for a few months.  As Jon's father explained in his champagne toast over Easter weekend, we had an "understanding."

In the lead-up to Christmas, my employer in London offered to sponsor me for my Tier 2 visa, which would have been necessary for me to stay in the UK past mid-June.  After some serious thought, I decided that it was not in my best personal or professional interest to recommit to my job past my then-current contract, which ended when my Tier 1 visa expired.  Jon and I had not taken the proper steps to prepare us to apply for an unmarried partners visa and we were not yet ready to get married, so we knew that I'd have to leave the UK in early summer.  We started discussing the logistical practicalities as well as the emotional nuances of being in a long-distance relationship, and that's when the possibility of eventually getting married was first mentioned.

When I formally gave notice at work in mid-February, my departure from London stopped being an abstract concept and became a concrete reality.  Our conversations about potentially taking our relationship to the next level, too, went from hypothetical to confirmed, and in early March we told our parents that we were going to be getting engaged.

Jon wanted to surprise me with a romantic proposal at the right moment - which, he promised, would happen before I flew back to DC.  For some reason I convinced myself that he would pop the question during my last weekend in the UK, while we were in Wales, so I didn't suspect a thing when he took me out for a lovely impromptu dinner at an upscale restaurant in Soho in early-May.  I didn't even blink when he refused to give his bag to the coat check girl - he told me later that he had been afraid that the ring might have fallen out without him noticing!

Happily, because I would have made a total fool of myself in public, he didn't propose at the restaurant.  After dinner, although I suggested we head to a nearby bar for drinks, he angled me towards home saying that he wanted some time to be just the two of us.  Still, I was clueless.  An hour or so later, as we were cuddling in bed, he turned away from me.  "I have a question to ask you," he said very seriously.  We had had a fight earlier in the week, so my first and only thought was "Oh, God, I hope I'm not about to be yelled at!"  He faced me again and said, "I love you very much, and - " but by then I had seen the little black box and I didn't hear anything else.  I screamed and cried and laughed and probably made a total mess of my face, and then I said yes and he slipped the ring over my finger.

We called our parents immediately to tell them the (now official) news, but held off on telling anyone else until the next day - we just wanted to be in our own bubble for that first night.  But here we are,  a month later, and the whole of the interweb knows!

Skincare PSA

American ladies, this one's for you.  (You should already know about this if you're in England's green and pleasant land - if you don't, jump on the bandwagon stat.)

Simple Skincare has come to the United States.

Let me say that again: Simple Skincare has come to the United States.  Woohoo!  Now I won't need to travel back to London for my fix.

I'm totally a drugstore girl when it comes to products for my hair and skin.  I discovered Simple at Boots when I first moved to London, probably because it was on a 3-for-2 deal, and haven't bought any other brand since.  My bathroom now boasts the whole range, for every possible skincare crisis, and I'm here to share my favorites with you.  They're not all available in the US yet, but I'm sure they will be soon - and you'll be ready!

Clear Skin Oil Balancing Exfoliating Wash - I'm still paranoid that I'll break out like a teenager, so this exfoliating wash is perfect for me.  I love the grains because it feels like they're actively cleaning out my pores, but my skin doesn't feel tight after I've washed it off.

Simple Spotless Skin Anti-Blemish Moisturizer - The more protection against scary skin the better!  I generally use this during the summer but also bring it out when I'm feeling extra-oily.  This product goes on so lightly, hydrating throughout the day without adding any shine.

Hydrating Light Moisturizer -  When my skin feels more dry, especially in the winter, I switch to the normal moisturizer because, while it's still sheer, it has a bit more oomph and seems to nourish more thoroughly.

Cleansing Facial Wipes - I use these before bed to wipe the day off my face.  The cloths are unobtrusive, but I always feel completely cleansed afterwards.

Kind to Eyes Nourishing Eye Make-up Remover Cream - The facial wipes get off most of my make-up, but I use this for mascara and liner that won't budge.  A dab of this on a cotton pad swipes off even the darkest and most stubborn eye make-up but is gentle on the sensitive skin around my eyes and feels restorative.

English friends and fellow expats, have you used Simple before?  Americans, let me know if you try the brand!  I know you'll love it as much as I do.

Lamburgers for Daddy

For the past few years, my mother and father have instituted family dinner twice a week; Mom is responsible for the meal on Tuesdays and Dad has Thursdays.  The food doesn't have to be anything fancy, but they make a point of eating together on those two nights.  (They're so busy that they might otherwise miss each other for days!)  Now that I'm home, I've joined in the fun - I get Sundays.  Because yesterday was Father's Day, I decided to make something a little special: lamb burgers! Except that, just so you know, it's more fun if you call them "lamburgers."  Try it - see?  Way more fun.

We enjoyed the lamburgers piled high with grilled red onions and fresh spinach, with sweet potato chips and grilled garlic tomatoes on the side, but you can do whatever you fancy.

Lamburgers

(adapted from Bon Appetit)

2 tsp paprika

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tbs olive oil

1 1/3 lbs ground lamb

4 hamburger buns (we used whole wheat sandwich thins and they were delish)

4 slices goat cheese

Mix the first four ingredients together and then combine well with the lamb.  Shape into four 3/4" thick patties and grill to your desired doneness.  When you flip the burgers over the first time, put a slice of goat cheese on top and let it smoosh into the burger.  Toast the buns, too, while the second side of the burgers is cooking.  Serve and top with - well, anything!

We cooked our tomatoes and red onion on the grill right next to the burgers, just drizzling them with a little olive oil (and minced garlic, for the tomatoes) first.  They were yummy and smokey and perfect with the lamb.

Luckily, we have one burger left over... my office is going to be so jealous when I bring it in for lunch!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend, dear readers, full of family and good food.  Did you cook anything yummy?

Parents are People, Too (Happy Father's Day)

I remember the exact moment I realized that my grandmother is my mother's mother.  I mean, her mom, in the same way that my mother is my mom, and not just abstractly my grandmother.  I must have been about nine.  We had flown to San Francisco to visit my uncle, and he drove us from the airport to his house in Palo Alto; I was in the backseat with Nana and Mom was in the passenger seat while Mark drove.  Nana was nagging Mom about something - I can't remember what - and, after a while, Mom got frustrated, but Nana persisted.  Suddenly, Mom turned around to the backseat, rolled her eyes, and complained, "Mother!"

That's when I first truly grasped that my mom wore more hats than the one with which I was most familiar.  However, even into my late teens I still believed that "mother" was her primary role.  Over the past few years, though, I've come to understand that, while my parents love being my parents, they are people, too.

When our parents fail us - or what we, in our childish sense that we are the center of the world or, at the very least, the center of their world, consider failing - we react with disproportionate hurt and anger.  We hold true that our mothers and fathers are imbued with the innate knowledge of how to be the perfect parents; each time they behave in a way we consider contrary to this, we believe that they have actively chosen to disappoint us.  If you had told me, as a child, that my parents were fallible, I would have been heartbroken.

Now, interacting with my parents as an adult, I see that it is exactly their natural faults that make them such incredible role models.  What we don't realize as children is that our parents are constantly learning and growing, just as we are, and it is the trials they endure that allow them to set examples for us.  It does make me sad to think that my mother and father are not, in fact, perfect, but it makes me hopeful, too - because if they can be such wonderful parents while, essentially, making it up as they go along, it means that, one day, I might be able to do the same.

And so, having come to this in a terribly roundabout way, I would like to wish my dad a very happy Father's Day and to thank him for everything he has taught me over the years.  I love you so much, Daddy, and I'm so glad we're figuring this "family" thing out together.

with my father, 1987

Frock Fridays

Jon and his family are jetting off on a week-long holiday tonight, and I don't get to go with them.  I'm sort of totally grumpy about it, because spending a week sailing around Turkey with my fiancé sounds like heaven, but I don't actually really deserve a vacation right now - after all, we hopped over to Chicago for a few days last weekend, my new job just started this week and DC's been enjoying gorgeous weather since I returned.  (Jon, on the other hand, has been working himself to exhaustion and slogging through one of the rainiest springs in recent memory.)  I'll try not dwell too much on the fact that sea breezes aren't ruffling my hair, but if I were to imagine myself on the Med with them, my daydream would probably have me looking like this...

[ dress / bag / sunscreen / shoes / towel ]

A June Garden

Thanks for your outpouring of sanity on yesterday's slightly paranoid post, dear readers.

You asked for it: get ready for a new Wedding Wednesdays series starting next week!

It's funny how much you can change in just a few short years.  When I lived with my parents for ten months in 2009/2010, after moving back to DC having finished my MA, I took advantage of their generosity as if I were still a teenager; I rolled my eyes at the indignity of having to call if I was going to be back after midnight or needing to ask permission to borrow the car, and I used their house more as a crash pad than anything else.  My mother says that I was so wrapped up in my own quest for freedom during that time that we ended up maintaining better contact while I was in London than when I lived at home.

These days, the best part about living with my parents again is being home.  I take refuge in the mundane pieces of the days that I can share with them and, in fact, actively seek out the lazy joy of being with them.  I love that we congregate in the kitchen for coffee before work and that we enjoy dinner together several times a week and that, before bed, we drape ourselves over couches in the basement to watch PBS-worthy detective series with tea and cookies.  I love simply being with my parents at home.

I spent some time in the back yard yesterday evening with my mother, who is a intuitive gardener.  I managed to catch a few fireflies but mostly wandered around, appreciating the vibrancy of the flowers in the dusk.  I escaped before getting any mosquito bites - it is summer in DC, after all, and you do have to be careful - but not before snapping some photographs of her magic.

Blogging Etiquette: Weddings

This isn't the announcement of a new series on this blog - even though I've been dying to create Wedding Wednesdays posts ever since Jon and I got engaged - but rather a question for all of you, dear readers:

what's the etiquette

when talking about wedding planning?

I don't mean talking about wedding planning in an abstract sense; I mean talking about planning my wedding.  I want to share my thoughts and our decisions with you all, but I'm kind of concerned about the money part of the conversation.

There, I said it.  It's about the money.  It always is, though, isn't it?

Jon and I are incredibly lucky in that our parents are very generously helping us pay for our celebration, which gives us more options than if we were responsible for the whole piggybank.  Of course I'm not going to tell you details about our budget, but you can easily Google costs if I tell you who our photographer is or what venue we've chosen.  That makes me sort of uncomfortable, and I imagine it might make some of you uncomfortable, too.  But, at the same time, I do want to tell you about the specifics of this exciting process that we're going through.  I don't want to just post pretty pictures of wedding-related things because there are plenty of those around the interwebs already - I want to make this conversation personal.  So how do I do that while maintaining our appropriate distances?  Please help!

Hey Strangers

Just wanted to say a quick hello to all of you who were pointed here by the lovely Megan!  Welcome - I'm so glad you've found Betsy Transatlantically.  Also, thank you for reminding me that my about me and faq pages desperately need updating. Lots of changes have been happening around here recently!  For instance, my boyfriend is now my fiancé and I've just moved back to my hometown of Washington, DC after an amazing two years living in London.

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Take your time, stick around - and please do come back to visit!  Definitely say hello in the comments.  I love meeting new readers!

Chicago

Okay, so I clearly failed to schedule posts to keep you entertained while I was in Chicago.  Sorry about that.  Can I make it up to you with pictures?  Yeah, thought so.

Highlights of the weekend included the Roy Lichtenstein show at the Art Institute, fun and games at the bean in Millennium Park, an architectural boat tour, a day at the beach, and lots o' time with my family. After one weekend of frolicking around, I think I love Chicago.  In fact, if it weren't for the killer winters - which I know all about because I watched ER, duh - I'd totally move there.  It was an amazing weekend - thanks to all of you who passed on recommendations about shops and restaurants!

Frock Fridays

Hello from Chicago!  Well, actually, I've prescheduled this post because my sister has decreed that There Shalt Be No Laptops on Family Holidays, but I'm in Chicago nonetheless and, if I could, I would be saying hello and good morning to you all.

I'm not actually sure why we're in Chicago, to be honest.  I think my aunt is from here originally, and she and my uncle invited us along for the long weekend.  Of course, I'm not complaining - I've only been to Chicago twice and both visits were very brief, so I'm really looking forward to exploring the city more.  Mark, my mother's brother, has lots of plans for us: we've got a few museums on the itinerary plus a boat tour and a couple of yummy restaurants as well as time to wander some of the parks.  One of the things I'm most excited about, though, is tomorrow night's awesomeness.  We happen to be in town during the Chicago Blues Festival and Ribfest Chicago - and I am going to hit up both even if I have to cut myself in half!  (Top half, the eating mouth and stomach half, will go to Ribfest; the bottom half, the dancing legs half, will go to the Blues Festival.  I've thought this out carefully.)  My planned outfit won't really work in pieces, though, so I really am hoping that I can just hop from one party to the other.  What do you think, Chicago readers?  Possible?  Please say yes!

[ dress / earrings / bracelets / purse / shoes ]

The Brighter Side of Life

Okay, yes, yesterday's post was heartstrings sad.  (Thanks for your love, dear readers, really - it means so much.)  But today's post is happy!  Leaving was hard, but fitting back into DC life has been breezy and beautiful, and I'm having a great time.  It's been so wonderful to be home with my parents, to have coffee with them in the morning and dinner with them in the evening and, between the two, to call them at any time and to not worry about prohibitively high phone bills.  I've started catching up with old friends but, unlike during my other visits back in the past two years, I haven't had to cram everything in a short timeframe because I'll be here for quite a while, so I feel blissfully stress-free.  And meeting new friends, mostly through the blogger world, has been such a treat; I went to #BloggerBlitzDC on Sunday and made some amazing connections.

Also, I got a job!  It's been in the works for a bit but I didn't want to jinx anything by telling you about it.  I've officially signed the forms and been given an ID now, though, so I can tell you some of the more abstract details.  (Must maintain some mystery, you know?)  I'll be doing fundraising for a theatre in Washington, DC, which is exactly what I was doing in London.  Except - wait - it's a theater, not a theatre.  [Expletive.]  This might be a trickier transition than I thought... But anyway, I went in to the office yesterday to sign papers and get set up on email and be preliminarily introduced to some of the staff, but I start properly on Monday.  I can't wait to sink my teeth into this new role and to become a functioning adult member of DC society.  (Basically, I can't wait to understand all of this website.)

In other news, I'm headed to Chicago with my family this weekend, so I'll be MIA from the blogosphere till Sunday night.  My sister is enforcing the "no laptops on vacation" rule, which means that I won't be able to virtually hang out with you.  (However, my new iPhone is surgically attached to my hand, so don't be surprised if I sneak a tweet or two!)  I'll schedule some posts for the next few days if I get my act together before we leave this afternoon, but let me preemptively wish you a lovely summer's weekend - I hope that, no matter where you are, you pretend you're on holiday, too!

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Truth: Leaving is Hard

I am absolutely loving being back in DC and I promise I'll tell you more about that tomorrow, but first I want to share a moment of truth with you: leaving London was really hard.  Walking through security at Heathrow, away from Jon and from the life that we spent two years building, took more strength than I've ever before used.  I know we'll be fine, and I know that our relationship will mature and develop in new and exciting ways because of the distance between us, but I also know that I totally lost it last week - and that's okay.  You know why?  Because...

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Jon took me to the airport last Wednesday morning; we'd already said our real goodbyes, so we barely talked in the taxi.  We joked with the airline agent at the counter while I checked my bags, and the man suggested that I stuff Jon into my carry-on and bring him with me to America.  (I had already considered this, obviously.)  Drawing out the inevitable for as long as possible, we had breakfast together in the terminal, chatting about inane things and totally ignoring the fact that I was about to board a plane and fly 3663 miles away from him.  Eventually, though, the time came for me to head through security, and I made a bit of a scene.

I mean, I didn't wail or gnash my teeth or rent my clothes or anything.  I was as quiet as a girl can be when she's crying and hiccoughing and having an argument with herself about how she needs to leave but doesn't want to go.  Jon, of course, was lovely.  He held me and rubbed my back and murmured soothing things and then, gently but firmly, told me that it was okay to be sad and that he was sad, too, but that we needed to let go just for now.  So I let go and blew my nose - really attractively, obviously - and we said "I love you" and "I'll see you soon" one last time and then I walked through security and turned around at the last moment and waved and hiccoughed again and then kept walking and couldn't see him anymore.

Believe it or not, I was totally fine for the duration of the flight.  I read a bridal magazine and watched My Week With Marilyn and may or may not have considered ditching Jon for Eddie Redmayne (sorry, Jon) and slept for a few hours.  But then I landed at Dulles and three different customs officials greeted me with huge American smiles and said, "Welcome home!"  And I started to lose it again.  I managed to more or less keep it together until the customs officer who stamped my passport asked me if I had been in the UK for business or pleasure; the poor man had no idea why I started sobbing.  "Both!" I said.  He had the good sense not to ask me to explain further.

So then I pulled myself together and picked up my huge suitcases and walked into the arrivals lounge and saw my mother waiting for me - and then we both cried.  But that was because we were happy, so it's okay.  I told her about how hard it was to leave, and she said, "You're allowed to be sad.  There will be days like this.  But there will be great days, too."

I think she's right.

Changing Conspicuous Consumption

Conspicuous consumption of valuable goods is a means of reputability to the gentleman of leisure... In  order to be reputable it must be wasteful.

- Thorstein Veblen, The Theory of the Leisure Class (1902)

I finally started unpacking today.  I brought home not quite half of everything I owned in London; the rest of my belongings were either put in storage, donated to charity, or given to Jon.  I was proud of how I economized what I was able to ship or pack to take to DC with me.  "See," I thought, "I don't need all of these things that I've accumulated.  Life is about more than things."

And then I got to my childhood home and moved back into my old bedroom.  And, today, I started trying to unpack - but quickly realized I had a problem.  There was nowhere to put everything I brought back with me.  Even though I haven't lived in this house for two years, my closet and dresser were close to full with things that, clearly, I once thought I needed but that, equally clearly, I have survived without since 2010.

For the first hour of "unpacking," I tried to take stock.  I threw old shoes out of my closet into a pile on the floor.  I tossed old t-shirts out of my dresser onto another pile.  I dragged out jeans that haven't fit since college and I took dresses off hangers that are no longer appropriate for any situation I might find myself in.  I crumpled up bikinis that long ago lost their elastic and sweaters that have pilled from years of overwearing.  After an hour, I had to stop because I couldn't navigate around my room anymore - there was too much stuff covering the floor.

So then I threw a small and quiet tantrum, cursing my own materialistic greed and the culture that teaches us that more is good and new is better.  And then I decided to make a change.

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First, I'm going to go through every piece of clothing I own and enforce a cull.  If it doesn't fit, it's being donated.  If it does fit but hasn't been worn in the past year, it's being donated.  If it's on its last legs, it's being trashed.  There is no reason for someone to have so many things that she doesn't actually use.

Second, I'm committing myself to not buying any new clothes, shoes, or jewelry until after Labor Day weekend.  If I want to shake things up sartorially, I should get creative with what I already have.  It'll be good for me to experiment with fresh combinations.

I'll still indulge in virtual window shopping, which means you'll still get your Frock Fridays, dear readers.  And I promise that I won't think any less of anyone who snags a cute new piece.  But I know that I need to make a change.  I need to think about what I'm buying and what I'm keeping and why, and I need to focus on the fact that it isn't all these things that will make me feel at home.  It's going to be hard at the start, but you know what?  I think it's going to be incredibly rewarding.  Because life is, really, about more than things.

Running Reboot

Remember how I started running and was totally fired up about it and then ran a 5k in 44 minutes without walking at all?  It was awesome.  Slightly less awesome: I didn't keep it up.  I mean, I did - since mid-March, I've gone out at least a week - but I stopped pushing myself.  And, as expected, I felt crappy about  it.  I really missed feeling the burn and the stretch and, at the end, the triumph.  I knew that my last month in London would be sort of lost to running because of the chaos of moving, so I vowed that I'd get back on the wagon when I got back to DC last week.

Okay, yes, it's only been five days since my return - but I've hit the pavement for three of them and, even better, I've pushed myself each time.  My mom and I signed up to run a 5k together on 16 June and I knew that I wanted to beat my previous time; in order to do that, I needed to reintroduce some structure to my running.  I downloaded the Ease into 10k app because I didn't want to repeat Couch to 5k but needed to respect the fact that my body would take a little while to get back into its groove after being more or less sedentary for a few (ahem, ish) weeks.  I've actually bounced back faster than I thought I would and have increased to a new week's routine each time I've gone out, which feels amazing.

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I decided that this reboot was the perfect time to upgrade to a new running playlist - Aaron Carter served me well, but it was time to move on from the noughties.  I've also realized that I stay on my toes if I set my music to shuffle because then I can't anticipate the next song, which keeps me interested.  (Runners out there: did you know this?  Is this, like, a normal trick?  Am I late to the party?  Whoops.)  Anyway, I thought I'd share my new mix with you - just in case you need an excuse to get fired up.

Double Heart (The Band Perry)

Lonely Boy (The Black Keys)

Cowboy Casanova (Carrie Underwood)

Wold Ones (Flo Rida feat. Sia)

Dance Again (Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull)

Domino (Jessie J)

Sexy and I Know It (LMFAO)

Give Me All Your Luvin' (Madonna)

Moves Like Jagger (Maroon 5)

Gunpowder and Lead (Miranda Lambert)

Everybody Talks (Neon Trees)

Love You Like a Love Song (Selena Gomez)

You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)

Glad You Came (The Wanted)

On that sweaty note, I hope you have started a fantastic week, dear readers, and have plans to get back into your groove, too!

Jumping into June

I know I'm supposed to say something like "how is it June already?" but, to be honest, the past few months have really been pretty confusing and I've been desperate for a return to normalcy.  Even though I'm practically starting everything over, I'm glad that June is bringing a kind of routine back to my life.  Routine doesn't mean boring, though, and it's going to be a busy month!  Here are some of the exciting dates in my diary...

Sun 3: #BloggerBlitzDC
Thurs 7 - Sun 10: Chicago with the fam
Mon 11: first day of work*
Sat 16: 5k Run for Roses with Mom
Fri 22 - Sun 24: NYC for a good friend's wedding

In there, too, will be many catch-ups with friends I haven't seen for months (or, in some cases, years!) and meet-ups with bloggers I haven't yet blated.  Plus, I found an amazing wedding stationery designer on Etsy who happens to live near me in Maryland, so hopefully I'll get the chance to check out her portfolio in person in the next few weeks.  On top of that, a friend and I are starting a book club - even though she seems to fundamentally not understand the concept of a book club:

Genevieve: oo!and we can get coffee, and read the book, and it will be fun

 me: coffee?

  b please

  book clubs are about booze

 Genevieve: lol

  irish coffee...?

 me: you think i'm kidding

  i'm not

  but irish coffee is a step in the right direction

 we can start there

You know I don't like doing things by halves when I start fresh - and so if I'm not jumping into the deep end of summer in DC, I think we can agree that, at the very least, I'm wearing sequins and I've gotten my hair wet.

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*I'll tell you more about my new job (inasmuch as I can, without losing any of my mysterious allure) as soon as I've officially signed on the dotted line!

Frock Fridays

Happy June, dear readers! It's officially summer: we've just had Memorial Day weekend in the States and we're heading into the first bank holiday weekend of the season in the UK.  You know what that means, right?  Whites!  Even though I don't believe that you can only wear white between Memorial and Labor Day weekends, because there are gorgeous winter whites in luxurious fabrics and decadent textures, there's something magical about summer whites.

I have a wonderfully visceral memory of a blind date when I was living in Charlottesville in the summer of 2008 - he was very tall and very handsome, quite a bit older, and a successful entrepreneur, and by the end of the night I was absolutely smitten.  I remember the look in his eyes when he picked me up for that first date; we'd never met before and, if I do say so myself, I looked fantastic.  I wore a blue top and white jeans and wedges, and I simply screamed summer.  He never had a chance.  Actually, we had a few very lovely weeks together, but he was looking for something serious and I was moving to London in the fall, so it didn't really go anywhere.  (I was devastated, naturally, though of course it all turned out alright in the end.)  But the point is that I wore white and it was a perfect date, complete with a foot-popping goodbye kiss on my doorstep.  Coincidence?  I think not.

So, even though I'm don't have any dates planned until my next trip to London, I'm going to stick with white and blue as my killer combo for the summer. You just can't go wrong with it!

[ dress / cardigan / watch / shoes / bag ]